We're number 1!
We’re number 1, we’re number 1 and don’t tell me you don’t have a warm glow in your chest right now, emanating outward, feeling real nice. Don’t tell me you aren’t proud as punch because when was the last time we were number 1 in anything? Our industry has been decimated, climate change is chewing through our communities and/or burning them to the ground, Kelly Slater will soon retire and then no one will even know what surfing is anymore full stop.
Not even after it’s “huge” Olympic debut.
But today we’re number 1 as it was just revealed in the Yearly Worldwide Shark Attack Summary.
Today we are proud as punch and let’s read the section pertaining to our singular glories, what we do better than all ocean-going folk combined.
Following recent trends, surfers and those participating in board sports accounted for most incidents (53% of the total cases). This group spends a large amount of time in the surf zone, an area commonly frequented by sharks, and may unintentionally attract sharks by splashing, paddling, and “wiping out.” Swimmers and waders accounted for 25% of incidents, with remaining incidents divided between snorkelers/free divers (11%), body-surfers (8%), and scuba divers (3%).
It makes much sense that sharks don’t like to be splashed.
To be quite honest, I don’t like to be splashed either especially when my eyes are open and the splashed water hits one of them with some velocity. It hurts and, if I recall in my nearly finished graduate degree in shark behaviors, the man-eating beasts don’t have eyelids.
In any case, I’m proud of us and we all deserve to take the rest of the day off.
Go surfing, get attacked, smile.
Today is ours.
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Well fuking Der. Your splashing sounds like a fish in distress , to a shark.
If I give the correct shaka and give a shout out to BG as Im being loaded in by the ambo drivers…do I get a free shirt?
beachFXgrit
Don’t surf at Sunrise or Sunset. Breakfast & Dinner.
Its God’s will, natural selection and confused sharks thinking everyone’s a boggie boarder, Not rocket science.
The deadly snake convo with Lemon Next to the Pie and Party Pete has me wondering if they might form alliances with the sharks and really terrorize us. Sharks chase a surfer out of the water, runs up the beach and is confronted by angry brown and tiger snakes or vice versa? This scenario could happen. Be prepared.
You see the trick when spraying a pedestrian tourist in your preferred path is that you have to bare down on them with such ferocity and intent that they are wide eyed with fear…and then bang, pressure wash those seemingly defunct peepers. You may even reveal that they are in fact only painted on.
If sharks actually watched me surf they would eat me just to put me out of my misery. A gesture of mercy!
I’m just glad that waders got a mention, the often forgotten ocean user.
If wiping out attracts sharks I should have been mauled at least 6 times by now.
thank you
I’m here only and always for you.
Sounds a bit creepy, Chozza.
A little too, Ace Buchan, dontcha think ?