Urbnsurf, not today.

Extreme weather: Australia’s climate change apocalypse forces Melbourne wave pool to close!

"Australia today is ground zero for the climate catastrophe."

Hell of a summer for Australia’s east coast.

An apocalypse of fire and brimstone and skies so red with smoke and debris The New York Times headlined an opinion piece, “Australia is committing climate suicide: As record fires rage, the country’s leaders seem intent on sending it to its doom.”

Opening line: “Australia today is ground zero for the climate catastrophe.”

But what seemed a little hyperbolic now appears prophetic with today’s closure of the country’s first commercial wave pool, Urbnsurf, near Melbourne’s Tullamarine airport, after its gorgeous azure waters were turned brown by extreme weather.

“First it was the hazardous smoke haze, then golf ball-sized hail and flooding rain. Now Melburnians are scratching their heads at dirty orange swimming pools and sludge-coated cars, clothes and outdoor furniture,” reports The Age. 

Dust from storms in the country town of Mallee, five hundred k’s north, had drifted south and, last night, mixed with rain over Melbourne and fell as mud.

From Urbnsurf:

Due to a severe rain and dust storm that hit Melbourne late last night, @urbnsurf will unfortunately be closed today, 23 January 2020. Our guests’ health and safety is paramount, so our dedicated facilities crew have been working around the clock to return our lagoon to its crystal-blue norm.

If you’ve booked a sesh, you’ll get a pool credit and three years to redeem it.

Is the end truly nigh?

When even man-made waves are forced to bow before the might of the climate change juggernaut?

Are we staring into the pit of death?

Etc.

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SSD
SSD
6 years ago

For real! The surprising thing is he’s a Cal guy. Those antifa psychos are going to harass him all over Berkeley

Tom
Tom
6 years ago

Yep searched for a cave and stockpiling water!!! Teaching the kids how to use bow and arrow and make fire as a start!!
I am also teaching them merits of riding wave pools as they will be only option for sure

M.
M.
6 years ago

“over 70% of the worst fires in history occurred before 1930”. Considering 300 000 years of human history (5000 of which partly recorded in writing), if true, that statistic should scare the living bejesus out of us.

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
6 years ago

I’m surprised Malcolm Roberts hasn’t been more public lately. You remember him? The Senator from Queensland who got 31 votes…

Spinafex
Spinafex
6 years ago

I read that the same arsonists have been melting the glaciers with their lighters

SSD
SSD
6 years ago

Hold up, LGR, these so called arsonists are a product of the oppressive white male dominated society. Its not their fault, if only they had the privilege we do, they would keep their fire lighting to fireplaces and fire pits.

SSD
SSD
6 years ago

Wavepools run on cosmic energy and good vibes! Book a sesh, climate activists, you’ve earned it!

Indo Techno
Indo Techno
6 years ago

Bastards. Received this at 630pm:

Since the wild dust storm rained mud on us last night, our dedicated crew of facilities technicians, divers, robotic vacuum cleaners, sweepers and even lifeguards have been scrubbing non-stop to return our surfing lagoon to its usual crystal-blue state.

Regrettably, we’re still hard at work cleaning our lagoon, and in the interests of our guests’ health and safety, we will be closed tomorrow, Friday 24 January 2020.

Due to the thick nature of the dust, and the sheer size of our lagoon, it’s difficult for us to estimate when our water quality will return to safe standards.

Accordingly, we will be sending you a credit for your session/s or lesson/s tomorrow within the next 24 hours – valid for 3 years from the date of issue – so you can rebook to score perfect waves with us once we’re back up and running.

Tom
Tom
6 years ago

My take from reading and looking at data – Its nothing to do with climate change – its the sun, and certainly nothing to do with CO2 which is 0.04% of the atmosphere. The atmosphere is also 20% water vapour – that’s gonna have more affect on climate than CO2 ever will!!
Australia was fucked by monsoons arriving later in india so we were drier for longer than normal.
As people pointed out dry lightening strikes is issue as is arson.
Shut the fuck up Greta Thunberg and the other muppets
The magnetosphere is weakening and it is the sun affect – if the sun novas which it is apparently overdue more likely then one side of earth will be scarred by supercharged dust the other side will go onto darkness and ice.
Yep we can probably all do better as global citizens, but the planet is a cyclical organism linked to the sun.
We just got too many people on planet

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago
Reply to  Tom

A bit of sense from Tommy.
But hang on Tom, you sure that monsoon thing ain’t The PMs fault?

SSD
SSD
6 years ago
Reply to  Tom

Without co2, the kids won’t have any kind bud to blaze at the climate rally.
Then they turn to spice and meth, go bonkers and become arsonists. A vicious cycle.

DrunkenAngel
DrunkenAngel
6 years ago
Reply to  Tom

are you … like … a scientist!? what deep analysis. you must have studied the data for minutes even!! so stoked we have you working it all out for us and not those who have studied this for a lifetime and except for those who made methodological errors agree on what the fuck is going on is inherently tied to anthropogenic actions.

Tom and Bex – thank fuck we have you two single cell amoebas to conduct collect the data with your tin foil hats and analyse it through your bong water.

Tom
Tom
6 years ago
Reply to  DrunkenAngel

My pleasure – thought be you that bit!!!

DrunkenAngel
DrunkenAngel
6 years ago
Reply to  Tom

Haha i am predictable as, tom. Lol

Tom
Tom
6 years ago
Reply to  DrunkenAngel

Haha yes – I jump on a soapbox but am not “simple folk” and maybe “wizer’ than my shoulder fetish above mate thinks!! I just don’t trust mainstream media – check out suspicious observers for some different insights it will take you in all sorts directions!!
If anything mate more sad that my kids are twin boys at 11 and daughter at 13 and fuck knows what shit storm they walking into!!

Billy Hunt
Billy Hunt
6 years ago
Reply to  Tom

Suspicious observers advocate skepticism and independent thinking yet you’ve just parroted what’s on their website.

Tom
Tom
6 years ago
Reply to  Billy Hunt

Been looking at that website for fair few months – comments were overview of main thoughts glad ya had look tho!!

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago
Reply to  DrunkenAngel

Excellent analysis!!

Mike_Sierra
Mike_Sierra
6 years ago
Reply to  Tom

yes I agree, too many people..The answer is to get down to about 2 billion or so.. We must stop climate change! ( Texting while driving in traffic in SUV, on the way to the beach, checking waves on iphone while booking flights o/s)
://uploads.disquscdn.com/image…

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago

They’ve really gone overboard here and have shot themselves in the foot cause they’ve scared the tourists off big time.
Seriously, you gotta wonder why lefties are so fuken stoopid.

Party Pete
Party Pete
6 years ago

Black Friday vs Black Summer!?! Thanks for the knowledge but I know which I’d prefer.

Superworm
Superworm
6 years ago

Causes of bushfires in Australia:
Smoking
Burning off
Arson
Railways
Campfires
Equipment use (chainsaws etc)
Lightning- not all lightning
Children (accidental not malicious)
Miscellaneous (Army drills!, Electric fences)

https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

longtom
longtom
6 years ago

most of the major fires in remote locations were started by lightning strikes LGR.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago
Reply to  longtom

Who says
The fuken guardian?
Good grief.
Every days an apocalypse on that rag of lies

longtom
longtom
6 years ago

seen it with my own eyes around here Ol Bexy.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago
Reply to  longtom

That’s some good eyes

Nickthegreek
Nickthegreek
6 years ago

Fuck it’s shit house down here. All set up just waiting for it to hit. Spotting a few KMs away. Just hoping it keeps some north in it before southerly hits. More people being smashed between Narooma and the Bay.

Antipodes
Antipodes
6 years ago

The climate apocalypse seems to be impending, but I’ve had a lot of fun waves recently, so there’s that.

Party Pete
Party Pete
6 years ago

Well our Prime Minister is nicknamed Scummo. He is a believer in a Christian religion called Pentecostalism which started in America around 100 years ago. Amongst what look like a few whacky beliefs is something called the Rapture which reads a bit like what we are experiencing in Australia right now. Apparently, he is rubbing his hands together with glee at the thought that he and his fellow believers will be welcomed into heaven while us heathen burn down here on earth. Not the sort of guy you want in charge during a crisis by all accounts.

ricmatic
ricmatic
6 years ago
Reply to  Party Pete

kinda says it all PP.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago
Reply to  Party Pete

Cool nickname!

Party Pete
Party Pete
6 years ago

Yes he’s not all bad. He thoughtfully shat himself in the Engadine McDonalds after the 1997 NRL Grand Final which gave everyone a good laugh.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago
Reply to  Party Pete

Got anything else?
It’s not much is it poopy pete.
Try turning your lights off
Candles maybe?

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
6 years ago

I’m more concerned with the reports of Australia becoming “more corrupt” under his watch. Seems singing christ-rock and shitting yourself is, as you say, not much.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago

Just another pm
Be gone soon
Thankless job

SSD
SSD
6 years ago

Christ rock! Jammin for Jesus.
Is it forbidden for worship bands to play evil tritone intervals? Minor diminished chords and such?

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
6 years ago
Reply to  SSD

Love the tritone. In music nerd fashion, defined as a diminished fifth or augmented fourth. A minor chord already has a diminished third, sixth and seventh, so you have to be a little more specific when describing the ‘diminished-ness’.
Here endeth the lesson.

SSD
SSD
6 years ago

Cool! Always like to learn. Are you a guitar player?

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
6 years ago
Reply to  SSD

Bass. But I have bought, read and watched so many music theory books, some of it has sunk in. I think that while there is some benefit to knowing about it, most of the music I enjoy comes from a place that has a joyous lack of understanding of ‘the rules’ and goes with ‘the sound’.

This is one of the songs we cover. The key/scale has the tri-tone and also a chromatic chord/note sequence that is against all ‘proper’ theory and yet I can’t find a bum note anywhere. https://www.youtube.com/wat…

SSD
SSD
6 years ago
Reply to  Party Pete

Pentacostals are the freaks that play with rattlesnakes in church as well! Do they use brown snakes at the Oz churches?

Party Pete
Party Pete
6 years ago
Reply to  SSD

Probably would want us to believe that they do, but I doubt they’d put themselves in any direct danger.

Talking about brown snakes! We were camping next to a river last Easter and a fellow camper got some footage of one slithering through it a bit further upstream. I sparked up later that night then, after a few puffs, looked around the camp realising a snake could coil up in any of our storage tubs or stuff we had lying around and strike when we least expected. Suffice to say, I tidied up and locked all the tubs in the car overnight.

SSD
SSD
6 years ago
Reply to  Party Pete

Those browns are aggressive, no? Big fuckers too from what Ive read. Im glad we’re having a cold winter around here so I don’t have to worry about rattlesnakes on my patio or biting my dogs!

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
6 years ago
Reply to  SSD

And the warm weather makes them feisty! One went across the path to the beach at one of my preferred spots last week. Thick as an arm. Fortunately it was on a mission and slithered on in determined fashion towards it’s goal, which wasn’t me.

It’s amazing how the mind can process:
“Fuck, that’s a snake. A fucking big one. A fucking big, fucking brown one. Fuck they are deadly fuckers. Fuck. Fuck, get the fuck out of here.”
And initiate sequence of muscle movements to get 5m backwards away from said snakey in about 0.09 seconds inclusive.

SSD
SSD
6 years ago

Thats just too intense. At least rattlesnakes dont really move on you. Pretty much have to fuck with it or step right on one to get bit. Big pyscho snakes like browns, mambas and cobras freak me out

David
David
6 years ago
Reply to  SSD

I stepped on a baby brown in thongs last Australia day camping. It was pitch black as well and I nearly had a heart attack. Apparently an attack from a baby is worse as they can’t regular their venom well.

SSD
SSD
6 years ago
Reply to  David

Glad you didn’t get bit, but hard in the ticker! They say that about young rattlers too. Browns are way more lethal though. They just unload all the venom. A chick near me got bit same way by a baby rattlesnake and said it was the most painful thing she’s ever experienced. Was fuvked up for months from it. Almost lost her foot from all the dead tissue.

SectionSB
SectionSB
6 years ago
Reply to  SSD

yeah, the stories!!! You get bit once, could be your last, or you are fucked for a long time.
Ok heres mine. Out at Devils Punchbowl (Julian) in the 71 or 2s I encountered the (had to be!!!!) oldest, fattest rattler on the planet. Ok, we were tripping, and reading Castaneda as was appropriate for the times. sobered up pretty quick tho… we thought there was a big fire hosedraped across the road, but then its patterns made it stand out in the gray washed out road area. We climbed a rock 20 ft away and tried to guesstimate size. Girth like your thighs, head like a giant triangular dinner plate. We joked and said glad we werent crazy zoologist thrillseekers who might try and catch it. Watched it cross the road, and it just vanished, in front of our eyes…. such perfect camo!! Later that night, going for a swim in the pool, we just barefooted it through his turf to the pool. I was new to california….barely passed the Darwin test that night. haha…Some real weird people back there too, man.( Blue Velvet cast of characters, I mean…still weird to this day) Probably worse now.!!!
Walked into a nest once when camping in the Muir wilderness, took one step in a rock bowl to explore, all of sudden from all sides, just buzzing and buzzing…I actually backed out, placing my feet where they had just been. Lot of them up there. Always seem to like to hang near the water, where the rats like it tool
PS I still google up “worlds largest rattler” but they rarely get over 8ft, but still fat. We thought ours was 15ft.
haha Devils Punchbowl is why. Satans personal bro snake.

SSD
SSD
6 years ago
Reply to  SectionSB

I’ve lived in San Diego 47 of my 51 years and never made it to Devils Punchbowl/3 sisters. Maybe its from growing up in Jamul surrounded by wilderness that I just never was intrigued. I hear it’s a pretty cool place though. Mostly beer chugging frat bros and chicks nowadays from what I hear. It is a surreal thing when you encounter one of those 4-6 footers. Awesome creatures but freak me out. Never ran into one while tripping but I did run into thousands of tarantulas all over a trail in Proctor Valley at night one time. Peak tripping and it was mind boggling. Glad we had one person that wasn’t on the Cid to verify it was real to this day!
The snake pit scenario is all time freakout! I’ve heard similar stories of people going into rock caves full of them. One was from a guy who is convinced there is Spanish Conquistador loot hidden on Mother Grundy- Lyons Peak area and ran into to them searching for it. Everytime Im on a boat off San Diego I can totally picture them hiding it there. Mother Grundy and Lyons Peak tower over everything and lots of places to hide shit.

SectionSB
SectionSB
6 years ago
Reply to  SSD

Treasure and gemstones!!! Shit now you did it!! (I barely avoided the treasure bug, but….see below) I have to go check out Grundy and Lyons now!!!

I was/am intrigued about Jamul. I was an amateur gemstone cutter for years, explored a bit of cali deserts and mts during flat season here (summer) got into geology books, maps maps maps..thnking I could find some new gemstone source in Cali…haha. also sort of a recovery thing to get my shit back together. You know my deal.
..Jamul comes up as its last in line of the pegmatites that make garnets tourmaline etc. Baja to the south they really end. I had a mental walk path out along the train tracks there into the areas in question, never made it tho. Cartel stories got me spooked!!

San Diego really scored. Great stories from the old timers. So what do you know? haha..comon spill the beans, you have a honkin piece of amber colored garnet just sitting on a bookshelf somewhere!! People have told me, “oh yeah when I was a kid we just picked garnets and quartz crystals up off the ground in our back yard!! haha uh huh.. Some of the pure orange garnet out of Romona is very rare. Let alone all the Tourmaline up San Jacinto way etc…

SSD
SSD
6 years ago
Reply to  SectionSB

I actually found a quartz crystal in the canyon near my house. The Honey Springs Ranch nearby has some giant quartz rock areas that I’ve seen firsthand, rode a motorcycle across one the size of a house slab but never found any quartz crystals. Supposedly there are abandoned gold mines up there. Peg Leg Mine in Jamul is a cool hike and it’s an actual mine shaft. People are still searching for Peg Leg Smiths lost gold mine, thought to be in the Anza Borrego desert near Salton Sea.

SectionSB
SectionSB
6 years ago
Reply to  SSD

thanx! Mojave and high desert towards Vegas is also full of abandoned mine shafts, old mining areas etc. California geology is complicated, but the southern half, being so dry, you can see it all laid out. Old volcanoes? Fossilized ferns in the desert? haha wild. great places to explore, camp and hike. Bring water and a hat. San Diego has great access to all that stuff, I wish I had explored more, but the surf is pretty good too!!

I had some surf buddies from here get the gold bug, take metal detectors out to the old mining areas, spend 300 bucks to get 50 bucks of gold dust!!! Winning! Better than gambling I suppose, (the myth of finding the 10lb gold nugget gets stuck in peoples head…like the lottery bullshit, although at least they are working……haha ya never know!)

David
David
6 years ago
Reply to  SSD

That’s horrible to hear, snake bites can really fuck you up. It seems that brown snakes are even more aggressive that rattlesnakes too. There’s always a few of them lurking behind our house in summer.

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
6 years ago
Reply to  SSD

For most of the deadly snakes around here, it takes a bit to get them excited. My fear is the un-prepared step on an angry snake tail. But I walk pretty much everywhere with my eyes on the ground, having spent time in taipan country. Vigilance is victory!

SSD
SSD
6 years ago

Did you run across any? Gnarly fuckin snakes. Taipan is the deadliest in terms of venom, a neurotoxin. I think a great white would be preferable to that paralysis death. Awful way to go.

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
6 years ago
Reply to  SSD

There was a snake lying across a country road we were traveling one day. Got out to have a look at the approx. 12′ length (it was lying across a two lane strip of bitumen and although was short of either side, it wasn’t lying straight so…). He wasn’t moving until we got about 10′ away, when he made a short, sharp leap towards us, whereupon we retreated fairly hastily to the car. And quietly waited for the big bully to move out of the way in his own time.
I guess when you are that venomous you get a bit full of your own importance.

SSD
SSD
6 years ago

Wild! Cool to see that from a safe distance. Do many people get bit from them? Do they get exterminated if people find them in their yards or call a snake removal? I’m not into killing poisonous snakes unless absolutely necessary. We had a rattlesnake nest somewhere near the house and found 7 within 25 feet one year. Had to use the 12 gauge on a couple that wouldn’t get out from under the deck. Rather not because they keep rodents in check.

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
6 years ago
Reply to  SSD

Hardly any get bit enough to die. There are a few bites but most people are pretty aware of what is required. Immobilising the limb, wide elastic compression bandages over as much of the limb as possible and getting to medical treatment. Mostly the snakes you see around the place are harmless enough, and as you say keep the rodents down. Snake removalists are doing well!

Party Pete
Party Pete
6 years ago
Reply to  SSD

They’re best avoided, yes big and angry. Like the tiger snakes around here they don’t seem to piss off when there’s a bit of noise or humans around.

SSD
SSD
6 years ago
Reply to  Party Pete

Oh yeah, the tiger snake! Taipans look gnarly too. Yikes!

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago

I’m not worried
I got a portable air con.

Party Pete
Party Pete
6 years ago

Glad you’re here to set our minds at ease once again.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago
Reply to  Party Pete

Do you want REAL protection?
https://youtu.be/33_dxeRuVHc

Party Pete
Party Pete
6 years ago

That looks more like protection for an auto.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago
Reply to  Party Pete

Auto erotic
Know what I mean?

Billy Hunt
Billy Hunt
6 years ago

I choked on that one

SSD
SSD
6 years ago
Reply to  Billy Hunt

Hah!

ricmatic
ricmatic
6 years ago

You’re an exhausting m@therfucker bexy

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago
Reply to  ricmatic
ricmatic
ricmatic
6 years ago

Thanks. I’ll run this by my most trusted PHd friend (besides you) and lets all have a latte. Go Rupert and Donny!

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago
Reply to  ricmatic
ricmatic
ricmatic
6 years ago

fair cop

Billy Hunt
Billy Hunt
6 years ago

Only from a political sense, he wasn’t questioning the science.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago
Reply to  Billy Hunt

I haven’t watched it

SSD
SSD
6 years ago
Reply to  ricmatic

Yeah but we love him!

ricmatic
ricmatic
6 years ago
Reply to  SSD

If bexy built a plane it’d have two right wings.

Billy Hunt
Billy Hunt
6 years ago

And a portable generator hopefully

MH
MH
6 years ago

Check out these aerial shots 7news

Hippy
Hippy
6 years ago

We’ve had such a dogshit winter so far…. I would kill for those rights.

longtom
longtom
6 years ago
Reply to  Hippy

they’re very weak Hippy.

Hippy
Hippy
6 years ago

Is THIS the pool you guys have been going on about?

There are so many now…. hard to keep track when you getting skunked at your local.

Holy fuck that looks good. I mean, not today, but……


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