They're here.
I’ve been warning you. Been warning you and warning you and warning you that sharks are evolving at a disturbing rate. Learning. Growing. Adapting. Changing. Watching us from the deep while eating our feet. Wondering how those feet work. Thinking about growing some of their own. And now they are officially two arms, and two opposable thumbs, away from world domination.
But it is true.
Sharks have learned to walk.
Oh, I know it sounds like science-fiction. Like horrific science-fiction but the “man-eaters” cannot be taken lightly and, thankfully, inland Australians, normally content souping up Forza Horizon 3s and drinking Carlton beer are panicking wildly, mass purchasing generators, bottled water, bottled beer, pre-burnt steaks, plywooding themselves into single family homes.
Don’t believe? Well let us turn to Gizmodo for more.
Sharks have been around for a long time, emerging over 400 million years ago. New research shows that tropical ‘walking sharks’ appeared just 9 million years ago, making them the most recently evolved shark on the planet.
New research published in Marine and Freshwater Research describes nine species of walking shark, all of whom live in the waters off northern Australia, eastern Indonesia, and near the island of New Guinea. Walking sharks have been documented before, but the new research—a collaboration between the University of Queensland, Conservation International, and several other institutions—describes them an evolutionary context, including how they came to be a distinct genus.
A good thing, so far, that these walking sharks are only in northern Australia. Just imagine when the southern ones start walking too. I image they’ll head straight for Melbourne’s first ever functioning wave pool.
I imagine they’ll bring hell with them.
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I wouldn’t worry too much about those walking sharks. The only reason they learned to walk is so they can get away from the crocodiles in those parts… and so that when the 10m tides in that region leave them high and dry they can drag themselves back to the ocean.
South Park warned it about the Lake Tardicaca shark years ago. https://images.app.goo.gl/R…
I think you already had an encounter with a ‘Land Shark’ Chas, Eric Logan. I think he was just sizing you up to see if you would make a good meal. ‘Land Sharks’ are probably the most deadly of the shark species. I think Land Sharks might actually be running the Wsl as a way to infiltrate the surfing population, setting up everyone up for the final _ _ _ _ _ _ ?
Wait till “bin chickens” evolve it will be all out terror
Let’s see one walk into the stab office and go buck wild and turn that place into a slaughterhouse! Ashton’s chubby ass kind of reminds me of one of those frozen Uruguayan rugby players in the Andes…. do us all a favor and tear into him first big whitey old mate.
Is ashton arse really that fat
?
I’ve never looked past his attention seeking beanie and so last five years ago hipster beard?
It’s all cool …he looks like he should be a fox news bottom dweller hiring token girls for blow jobs
Why do you call yourself big black cock?
Asking for a friend.
Samwaters is your friend?
Wash your mouth out son
It was only a matter of time!
Once these devil creatures walk into a coffee shop and start ripping people to pieces suddenly the hippie environment crew will start screaming KILL IT, it’s spilling my latte
If a person in the ocean is fair game for a shark, a shark on land should be fair game for humans.
European settlement of Australia was done for the benefit of such creatures.