30 victims and counting...

Would you like to play a little game with me? A short, punchy round of “Would you Rather?” Ok, great. Would you rather have your foot nibbled by a Great White shark or get stung by a box jellyfish?

Oh, don’t answer too quickly. On the surface, getting a foot tasted by Great White seems the more terrible option but in these cases the wound is usually so deep that shock takes over, erasing pain. Also the victim of shark snack is, afterward, regarded as a hero, very lucky, and has a go-to bar story to tell for the rest of his life. Box jellyfish stings, on the other hand, hurt very, very badly. It is almost impossible to stifle tortured shrieks, breathless gasps for mercy, when wrapped by a poisonous tentacle. Being stung by a jellyfish is not a good story, either, as no one cares and being urinated upon is usually in the cards.

So?

Before giving your answer let’s read about an invasion, yesterday, of a paradisiacal Hawaiian beach, Hanauma Bay that became invaded by a troupe of unbelievably caustic box jellyfish. Let’s learn of 30 victims.

The beach at the Hanauma Bay Nature Preserve has been closed for the day, Sunday, January 19.

This is due to an influx of Box Jellyfish.

According to the Honolulu Department of Parks and Recreation, there were 30 stings reported on Sunday morning.

The beach at the Hanauma Bay Nature Preserve will be closing today, 1/19/20, due to jellyfish. About 30 stings have been reported this morning. The upper areas, including the parking lot, viewpoint, & education center, will remain open. Will reassess beach tomorrow. Mahalo. #hbay

January 19 is first day of and anticipated three-four day Box Jellyfish influx.

The situation will be reassessed first thing in the morning Monday, January 20.

Now, Great White or Box? One last bit of info here, too, box jellyfish are deadlier than sharks.

Which one?

Specisim.

Mass, illegal, unwanted and unwarranted surveillance is what will eventually destroy our gloriously viral human organism, amiright? No? You enjoy various governmental and non-governmental bodies peeking in to your every purchases, every web search, every….thing because, “I’m not a weirdo, nothing to hide, whatever, etc…..?”

Yeah?

Well, I imagine “man-eating” Great White Sharks are not on #teamyou.

I imagine they are furious in relation to governmental and non-governmental interference exactly as you should be due the shake-down on disemboweling and calorie intake exactly as you should be.

What?

Exactly.

Yet here we go.

Now imagine that a computer program could help researchers and safety officials predict, with some accuracy, where and when sharks may congregate. Such modeling software could offer an important new early warning system that would give everyone a heads up so that they would know when and where to look for our fierce visitors.

Right now, a pair of researchers – one from the state Division of Marine Fisheries and one from the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth’s School of Marine Science and Technology – are gathering data from 27 buoys that were strategically placed on both the ocean and bay sides of the Outer Cape. In addition to performing more traditional tasks, such as marking channels, these floats have been recording both the progress of sharks that have been tagged with radio frequency identification devices as well as the water temperature.

Officials want to correlate the temperature data – great white sharks favor water between 55 degrees and 73 degrees Fahrenheit – with the sharks’ travel patterns, essentially painting a picture as to what sort of weather seems the most conducive to shark visits. Taking all of that data into consideration, researchers hope to craft a computer model and warning system that will help local safety officials predict the location of sharks off our shores.

It may, however, be some time before this project produces the desired results. Researchers note that it will take at least two years to get all the necessary information, create a model, and then test that model under real-time conditions. As part of that process, they expect to examine almost 10 years of temperature data, as well as other environmental markers. It will only be after that data has been analyzed that researchers will be able to say with some degree of certainty that they can predict the sharks patterns.

If they are successful, there is the very real potential to attach data-capture devices to these same buoys that could provide real-time results and transmit the data to area beaches.

The science behind such innovations may be beyond the ken of many of us, but most of us can recognize the idea behind such computer modeling as a potentially valuable new tool. Combined with good old-fashioned lifeguarding, a heightened effort to train both rescuers and beachgoers in basic first aid preparedness, and a new emphasis on providing our beaches with emergency communication abilities that are more reliable and available than they currently are, beach visitors can enjoy a sense of being a bit safer than they would be without such improvements.

Big Brother is a Bastard.

No?

Discuss.

Also, no more surfing for at lest the next decade.

Or two.

Discuss.

We surfers are... fabulous!

In all truth, we surfers, we water dancers, have not been on the bleeding edge of any meaningful cultural shift for years and years and years. “Conservative” is how’d we best be described. “Resistant to change.” But when, a handful of years ago, “gender fluidity” started making the rounds as the “movement of the future” in intelligent circles I thought, “Bingo.”

We surfers, we backdoor shooters, have been gender fluid from the word go. Men wear very fitted pantsuits when the water temperature drops below a comfortable 67 degrees, often pairing them with dainty black slippers. Women wear the same very fitted pantsuits and dainty black slippers. In the lineup we are one and the same, indistinguishable.

“Progressive.”

Well, it was only a matter of time before the word’s luxury houses discovered our secret garden and let us discover Salvatore Ferragamo Fall/Winter 2020 collection. Let us feel pride.

With their Fall/Winter 2020 collection, Salvatore Ferragamo introduces the new men of the new decade, highlighting the emerging fluidity of modern masculinity. Creative Director Paul Andrew uses fashion as a tool for experiment and expression, exploring the conceptual breadth of visual statements of manhood in the 2020s.

Reimagining sartorial elements of commonplace male archetypes including the businessman, biker, racing driver, sailor, soldier, and surfer, Andrew creates a versatile collection of refreshing takes on overdone displays. “The agenda is to retain the aesthetic of uniform while subverting the once-rigid assumptions it enforced,” Andrew explained. The modern man cannot be put into one box, rather he has a variety of intertwining qualities and has the ability to explore all facets of his identity.

And let’s feast our eyes upon a reimagined short-sleeved full suit very likely 2 mm in thickness.

We surfers, we priority interferers, are…

…fabulous.