Come see how the other half plan to live!
It’s funny to think, isn’t it, that the world’s first jaw-dropping manmade wave generating facility is still exclusive and private. The fact that Kelly Slater’s Surf Ranch is in “the world’s least desirable hamlet™” has not deterred its World Surf League owners from keeping the “rehabilitated” Lemoore water ski pond a “luxury experience.”
People, and businesses, apparently pay top-ish dollar to drive, or fly, to Lemoore and surf surrounded by cow stink and abject poverty and surf amongst it.
Well, Surf Ranch’s days may be numbered as a posh northwest Sydney enclave, known for designer penile surgery, is set to build a properly exclusive, luxury, members’ wave tank where you will not be invited nor tolerated.
Shall we learn about? It’d be seen as “low class” and “nationalistic” to not.
An exclusive inland wave park has been proposed for an unusual location on the outskirts of north west Sydney.
The Wisemans Ferry Retreat and Golf Club on the Hawkesbury River submitted an application to the Hills Shire Council on January 23 to construct a 13,735 square metre wave pool complete with a beach and lounge area on their existing site.
The pool will use more than 30,000 cubic metres of water filtered from the Hawkesbury while utilising wave-generating technology from American company Surf Loch Wave Systems.
But not everyone will be able to enjoy the attraction, because the wave park will be exclusive to retreat guests.
A spokesperson from The Wisemans Ferry Retreat and Golf Club told Daily Mail Australia they had been ‘told not to discuss’ the proposal, which was reportedly made by the new owners of the resort.
Which leaves us to speculate freely and wildly. Which Australian surf star will be the “face of the brand?” I think it would do this new pool will to acquire Julian Wilson’s board real estate and also have him act as chief pool boy. Imagine the swoon of the wealthy heiresses. It’d be enough to power the plow.
What?
Nick Carroll you say?
Don’t be daft. Nick is a dyed-in-the-wool communist. He doesn’t go for this sort of classism.
More as the story develops.
Its a Flowrider, complete shit technology that they put on cruise ships.
Well, the surf community asked for it — they drooled over Slater’s tank– then they drooled over the Texas tank–now there’s no turning back– ‘waves for the wealthy’–‘exclusive’ surf breaks–they’ll be laughing from their lounge chairs, Mai Tai’s in hand, while the surf community is outside looking in. —– PS. I guess you can than KS for all of this……..
Surf Loch Wave systems?
which one is that? the standing wave?
Coupla years back I had the brilliant idea of getting one of those German standing waves built inside a house and having it be a corporate retreat / bucks show party house to rent out.
I actually emailed them, city wave I think they’re called, to find out about construction and licensing costs. Their quote was eye watering.
sounds like German standing waves should be a euphemism for something .
Most Chinese would be stoked to have a mid length.
Hey bro thats not an appropriate joke in my opinion and request that you delete it please. https://givenothing.co.nz
It’s no joke
fuck off outta here with that – dont talk shit about someones child
Fuck. What did I miss? (deleted)
someone was looking for their baseball…
So sensitive. Children are under 18. Everyone is someone to someone.
Yeah but Nick would be an executive commitee fukwit, not an average stinking ,starving commie.
Goodbye BeachGrit.
I imagine Derek has already submitted his CV for the “pool cleaner with stories“ position.
Ain’t that the truth. When this came onto my radar a year ago, I sorta begged to be given an interview.
From the Australian Financial Review in 2016:
“A private Shanghai-based Chinese hotel group which specialises in Chinese inbound travel to Australasia has acquired the 54-room Retreat at Wisemans resort in the historic township of Wisemans Ferry north of Sydney for a price of just under $10 million.
“The 18-hectare property with an adjacent parcel of development land approved for an over-55s estate also comes with a conference centre and a golf course.
“The new owner will turn the resort into a more prestige property and it will be rebranded. There will be future improvements to the property.”
ha ha wonder how long it will take them to realise that surfers do not equal “prestige”
oh and btw Sally Fitz. Gotta be.
Sponsored by Corona
La virus mas fina!
Chinese owned you say? Well your communist leanings have no obstacle. You can be the face of the brand!
I’m not sure they approve of Australian Communists.
Nick, now that the industry is fucked and you’re probably out of a job perhaps you should join ASIO and become a spy. Actually no, it would never work, your big bushy eyebrows would give it away. I assume the clients of this joint will be manicured.
But but, I thought the Wsl was on the verge of finally making surfing respectful, prestigious and ready for surfers to finally take their rightful place in society…..
I heard someone say something about Nick Carroll so stopped by to remind you he’s a complete fuck wit.
Thanks!
But will they regenerate my stolen foreskin?
One of my mates snapped his banjo string in a dry and unwelcoming Polish backpackers punani. He thought she was just on her rags and kept going and was horrified when he was cleaning himself up and realised the bit of white shit he was trying to pull off his dick was skin not toilet paper. Some people have a tough life man.
Haha a friend do a similar thing and his doctor reassured him that now it’s gone sex will be better for him as it’s freed him up. Twang.
Really? I’ll give it a go with the tin snips and report back.
Wince!
Byron Bay 10 years ago I painted the walls of a hostel red… careful you’re not too excited when you cut that thing because the aftermath looks like a triple homicide scene from Texas chainsaw massacre.
Those were my good face eyes…
I rooted a pole in Bali recently. the punani was very welcoming. your mate must have bad technique.
+1 for the crassest comment I have read on BG.
Your heart’s very desire!
That area’s smack bang in the middle of the recently extinguished Gosper’s mountain ‘mega fire’ that burned an area seven times the size of Singapore. What did LT say about wave pools and the smell of burnt koalas again?
5000000 times the area of tavarua even.
9-11 times 11
I think there is a Facebook posse wants my head on a stake for that line.
In your defense LT, I did hear that a smoky cabernet pairs well with roasted roo and crispy koala
wot still too soon?
I didn’t say a word, didn’t snicker, didn’t move a muscle.
seriously though, I do find the destruction of all that wildlife very distressing.
Well you can’t please everybody.
On a tangent. When I lived in Costa Rica a howler monkey electrocuted itself on some wiring out the front of my joint, which meant I was finally able to tell my dear dad I’d be having fried monkey’s arsehole for dinner – as was his favourite response to me asking what was on the menu every night as a kid.
You been there? Some of the single storey mansions around there are next-level big