This internet meeting is adjourned.
We surfers, we real surfers, were all asleep that decade or two ago when Laird Hamilton swept his way into the suspect hearts of those dreaming of an “alternative” to wave riding. Before we knew it there was one then three then eight stand-up paddleboarders milling about the lineup, stroking into waves, sending their canoes rolling through our skulls.
Asleep or shellshocked but no excuses. We should have called an internet meeting and decided what punishment the SUP deserved and likely punished them out of the lineup or at least corralled them in Manhattan Beach.
In any case, let’s not make the same mistake again. Let’s call an internet meeting to order and decide how deal with future users of the just-developed electronic surf fin (handicapped folk excluded).
Certainly you’ve seen it by now, advertised in Surfer magazine, raising $250,000 on KickStarter, on Mashable.
“Catch all the waves… no more upper body strength needed etc.”
So what should we do when we see our first?
How shall we react, strongly, as one and shame every non-handicapped user away or at least to Manhattan Beach?
Ideas?
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these fins are so Ben Gravy I just can’t even
Let’s get down to brass tacks. When are we going to start rating the WSL women by hotness?
So now we get a crutch attached to a crutch. Wonderful…
These are going to be the segway tours of the lineup. Just wait. Someone will try to make money off it (see surf schools).
Time has not been gentle on Beau Foster’s face…
Way. Go and munch a penis ya dirty hippy
Let’s get him.
Also, have you seen Planet of the Apes…? Great movie. I’m specifically referring to the 1968 original but the whole series is pretty good. I love how all the different types of monkeys, chimps and apes set aside their differences to enslave humans. We stand learn a lot from the monkeys.
And all the little devils are proud of their hell, you arsehat.
Douche
That’s why I always carry a bell with me. “Shame! Shame! Shame!”*
https://media1.giphy.com/me…
*Disclaimer: Will probably not work because of inherent shamelessness of everyone buying the mentioned product
Can you do yoga with them?
When these electric fins are engineered for speed then I’ll be interested (for novelty). On a solid day, setting the dial to 11. From shore to out the back or the outerknown in 6seconds. Hopping over the runners, Superman’s over the ledges, choosing whether to punch through or dive deep with my powered fin. And all this fun just to get out…now turn around and do the real surfing
I wish I had your patience. It would annoy me if someone is running circles around me with this thing.
A
Similar to electric bikes, we should limit the maximum thrust generated by the fin, to match that of an average paddler. I don’t mind it helping people with their inability to paddle (I myself was victim of a nasty subacromial bursitist) just don’t let it give your normal bloke an advantage over his surfing peers.
Tempting to think that but as long as powered craft, SUP and foils stay well the fuck away from human powered surfers and swimmers then they are OK.
Official sponsor of the WSL Seniors tour. The golf cart of surfing!!!
They’ve had sometype of water jet powered surfboard for years and years already.
Of course they’re European.
Chas is the “Cookie Cutter Shark” of journalism.
Who wants to invest in my latest invention, the Personal Drone-In (PDI).
The drone hovers 6ft above the users head, dangling a retractable tow rope.
The user controls via voice activated smart watch.
Tow yourself into any wave, no need to paddle any more or no need for those pesky takeoffs, just whip in early and take the handle at the end of the wave.
Or don’t let go at all.
Send your $150 non-refundable expressions of interest here.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Whats your account number- I’m in!
I’ll DM you. Was it the tech drawings or the fact that I’ve already Trademarked my unique and innovative idea that hooked you?
https://youtu.be/3UzscU5hpvw
I don’t see the similarity. That was Kiteboarding with motors.
My invention is Personal Air Craft (PAC™) tow in surfing/ SUPing/ Foiling.
Drink the koolaid Bexy and get on board the money train. Just think: profits
See?
Does it need to attach to your dick?
Fleshlight controller optional
You think this is funny Superworm.
But some cunt will do this. And film it. And show us all.