Cut it all down!
When I was a young boy, those brave souls who challenged the authority of East Germany’s State Security Service, or Stasi, fascinated me. There they were, walled into a metastasized communist garden, spies on their left, listening devices on their right, boldly defying the odds. Penalties for getting caught with forbidden literature or stating a contrary opinion were wildly stiff. Penalties for helping people escape over that wall included the very real possibility of death. Oh how scary, but thrilling, it must have been to be a rebel.
Today, I feel much the same about those who defy the authoritarian World Surf League and dare sail over the “Wall of Positive Noise” with anything resembling criticism. As you know, the WSL refuses any opposition, stuffing ears with Joe Turpel’s syrupy nothings and cotton candy. There was a press conference at Surf Ranch, yesterday, ahead of the Freshwater Pro and questions were not allowed.
No questions at all.
Surf journalists who speak out are forbidden to appear in any of the World Surf League’s new productions including, but not limited to, Surf Ranch Sessions and Transformed. I can’t even imagine the penalty for professional surfer dissent. These brave souls are even more rare than those 1980s East Germans and, therefore, more inspiring.
And let us turn our gaze on seven-time World Champion Steph Gilmore who recently let fly an amazing refutation of Santa Monica’s business model. She was being interviewed by Pablo Zanocchi of the wonderful Spanish-language dukesurf.com and, to the question, “Speaking of surfing equity, have you asked the authorities to have 32 women as there are 32 men?” answered:
I think we can get there one day, I don’t know if now that … To be honest, I think there should be fewer men. I think we spent so many days at the events waiting for swells that if we had fewer men, maybe 18 and 18 we could finish the events much faster, in a good swell, instead of waiting for two.
Whoa.
And I hope beyond hope that Ms. Gilmore is too high profile for the League to disappear. I hope beyond hope that she is not relegated to the WSL’s own gulag but I fear it might already be too late for that.
I saw her in line for the Tachi Palace’s Coyote Grille restaurant, two days ago, with Jake Patterson. She turned around, before being shown her table in the windowless space where the fluorescent lighting is turned down low to create “mood” and offered a very gracious hello. I looked deep into her eyes and saw life vanishing.
…well, that was categorically painful to read.
on accident or by purpose?
Just great fucking writing Chas Smith! Billy Shakespeare up in this biatch!
I don’t mind women get paid equal but i don’t enjoy watching then surfing. I don’t watch any other female version of sport. If they want equality why shouldn’t we have separate world tours? I bet the viewers of an exclusive women’s stops would drop drastically if that happens. IMO it’s because men’s are more competitive and stronger, more radical and entertaining than watching boring girls trying to land a ankle high air.
I would rather watch Steph surf than half of a the men. The rest not so much.
Idem.
can you read old english?
Brilliant intro and comparison Chas
Chill…
Steph speaks the truth. 18 men would be much better. Drop at least 1/3 of the tour stops. Bottom 6 drop off at end of year. Can’t re-qualify through so called challenger serious for the following year. Challenger series need to be in decent waves which require a similar skill set to the championship tour spots, Padang not Piha etc. Alternative commentary option for the non VALS.
Women’s world tour absolutely amazing surfing they are doing.
I enjoy watching all the surfers on tour and the women are naturally more flexible than men which can be used as a distinct advantage in many sports.
That’s what 30 second cow stink barrels will do to you, I guess.
What does this story have to do with sharks? Beach Grit is letting the standards slip.
Le Muuuuuuu
Please someone throw a white in this bathtub!!!
We want, and desire, blood, sweat and tears!
And someone calls Mick to give the scores!
a complete head case.
how about cancelling the pathetic womens tour so we dont have to watch steph and her faux soul routine
SAVAGE
the female curren!
no
Reduce the men to 18, and the women to 4, or 8 if you are being very kind!
Its difficult to comprehend the lack of depth and lack of talent in women’s surfing. While the mens tour could be reduced to top 30 (plus two wildcards) and even top 22 and while some of the Top 34 are not exciting, there are so many talented & exciting men’s surfers not on the tour. Steph don’t realise the women are still a novelty thing; not born from Feminism; but born from the good-will of men. We watch them; not for the surfing; but will happiness they are surfing.
As controversial as suggesting 🍕 for dinner.
She said something way stronger than that Chas !she said feminine surfing is not good enough to have 34 surfers on the CT
“feminine surfing”?
Oh sorry,I don’t write English as good as you write Spanish..oh wait!you are one of those shot brained people that only speaks one language..
Female surfing yeah
Vaya xikillo, era broma. No hay razón de tomarse todo tan serio.
PS Como inglés no es mi lengua materna no te lo puedo decir con certeza absoluta, pero creo que la expresión que buscas es “brain dead”, dudo que “shoot brained” existe 😉
I’m delighted, and not surprised, by Steph’s excellent grammar. I admire a woman (or man) who knows the difference between “less” and “fewer”.
Now tell me, my American brethren, why do none of you cunts seem to know the difference between “number” and “amount”?
WSL commentators (and David Scales podcasts, host included) are the absolute worst. I hear constant reference to the “amount” of surfers/waves/fans…etc. Drives me fucking bonkers.
I so agree with you; grammar has gone out the window.
I try to not let it drive me bonkers, though, cause it’s everywhere.
I’m not a nazi about it, language is meant to be fucked about with. But simple errors annoy me. Less/fewer and number/amount especially.
Plus, I feel like you should know the rules before you get to bend them.
Man, if you’re expecting surfers to know the rules of grammar you’re truly setting yourself up for a lifetime of frustration. Chas supposedly has a postgraduate degree and isn’t even a good surfer and still struggles with it. What hope is there for the likes of Joe, Ronnie and Kaipo?
True. I expect better from that posh cunt Scales though.
lmao! you mean the only straight man who up-talks more than a 13 year old girl? in an intro writing composition class at cal state long beach he might have been in the top 20 percent of the class, but that’s about the limit.
tell the truth, i think he’s improving a little as a broadcaster, but would still bet he surfs much better than he reads.
Sorry, I should have said wannabe posh cunt!
I have a feeling we’ll get a change in tone over the next few podcasts after this.
He’s making a statement?
He’s not asking a question?
All Californians talk like this?
It’s honestly not annoying at all?
My wife grumps at me for asking may daughter whether ‘she’s telling me or asking me’ because she’s picked that shit up at school?
Two of my pet peeves are:
“between A to B”
“both A but also B”
If you want to do my head in, give me a misplaced ‘loose’. As in “I’m gonna fucken loose it if you don’t speak properly”.
You’re gonna love my youngest kid. He has an overly confident approach to a lot of things. Not least his ability to communicate.
“Guttered” instead of “gutted” gets me. Or “I could care less”
Could you?
Maybe not grammar
Best pro surfers to interview:
1. Steph Gilmore
***
That’s it. That’s the list.
language is fluid and ever changing.
word meanings are always changing, there are no laws pertaining to a words meaning
C’mon, the UK is just as bad and so is Aus.
Can someone who has the ear of either Chas or DLS please tell them that the phrase for selling something at a loss to attract customers is “loss leader” and not “lost leader”. The two most recent episodes of “The Grit”….lost leader…..ugh. I like to save my IG DM’s to Chas for important topics like dancing Indian midgets.
Edited to correct grammar but then just gave up
18 fewer toxic men in the water can only be a good thing for our earth’s oceans.
Good on Steph, someone give her a pay raise!
i clicked away from one of the colapintos for this, probably not to return. reading the line “stuffing ears with Joe Turpel’s syrupy nothings” validated my decision.