Post-apocalyptic yoga.
Now that the end is officially nigh, the lights turned out, young surfers once brimming with hope, visions of robust contracts dancing in their heads, sent outside penniless to join their snowboard brethren we can/must continue to talk about the post-apocalyptic future. Our own surf ads kicked it off so right yesterday, pointing at an aggressive bicyclist as a potential way forward. I would have liked Jen See’s take there, as she has many toes in that bike world, but will also say that Red Bull’s Rampage, a mountain bike event, is the most exciting extreme sport thing around.
In any case, some out there imagine now that funky, weird surf brands are out of the way big blue chips will come swooping in, checkbooks open wide. Lululemons pouring out millions. Banana Republics just gagging to sponsor Michel Bourez. G-Star Raw. Etc.
I think there is an assumption that these companies (save Banana Republic and G-Star Raw) are successful, have much more money than our funky, weird little surf brands and spend much more when given the opportunity.
Well, I have had the fortune of looking over a few shoulders into the business side of our surf, skate, snow game over the last decade and can say, without exception, non-endemic companies pay pennies on the dollar for professional athletes.
For all the wacky things the surf industry got wrong, it poured money back into the community. The “community” may have meant rococo surf events and parties, bloated magazines, super surf dads and their bratty little air-revo bastard kids but it was still the community. Our community. Non-endemic brands don’t care about the space. They’ll lock a talent up for as short as they possibly can for as little as they possibly can. Every single time.
So when you start seeing Lululemons and Banana Republics, Maui Jims and Men’s Warehouses affixed to boards feel very bad for the surfer riding. Not only is s/he forced into poor fashions but also quite literally poor.
Very quickly, though, who should BeachGrit sponsor in this post-apocalypse?
Who would wave our banner most wonderfully?
I will say the one advantage to being an editor of a surf magazine in the Roaring 90s is we got to go to the warehouses of the big companies and pretty much take whatever.
It always felt a little weird, but did it anyway.
Remember those TV shows where people run through a store and grab as much as they can in a certain amount of time.
It was like that.
That was fun, but usually done at Christmas for others.
There were some good Christmases.
Schwag!!!!!
In the world of Olympic Half Pipe skiing the two time gold medalist, David Wise, is literally sponsored by a hunting outerwear company called First Lite for his outerwear that he competes half pipe in.
https://www.instagram.com/p…
Funny thing is they sponsor Mark Healey as well. https://www.firstlite.com/p…
Mark likes to hunt.
You guys realllllly missed it, shoulda been here a couple decades ago.
The companies had money, the surfers were cool and funny, the parties were great, the magazines were as good as they’ve ever been, the contests were well-contested and everything was rosy.
Not everyone was a surf journalist or a surf photographer and it was a Happy Few who got to do it – and were glad to do it, and do it well.
You’re just snark-dancing over the bones.
It’s all so dumb now. The cool people all left the party, for the most part.
You missed the party by a couple decades.
Oh well.
Oh pity those poor pro surfers! Sellouts all of ’em. Those evil merchandisers forcing them to sign sharecropper contracts. It’s all so wrong. Contests are funny… “did u see Jay’s wave? Jay surfed it so much better than Biffo…and that 6.7 really shudv been a 7.1, right?” Good thing Jay gets plenty of free Redbull and a big sticker!
Lululemon makes comfortable shorts.
Could you elaborate on snow and skate as well? I’m trying to work out if we’re witnessing the mass readjustment of an intangible asset class (pro surfers) and would love to understand how their pay scale compares to other “extreme” sports.
Without a doubt you should be sponsoring Wiggoly’s paddling style. The dude epitomizes BG’s core values.
Its not a apocalypse–, its a ‘cat’aclysm https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Smile Jen–you know you like the Chart.
Why have you posted this twice? and you forgot to upvote yourself!!
I posted this twice? Oh well…….Maybe I will upvote it later–the chart is kinda cool…….
https://uploads.disquscdn.c… Haha, seems da Cat saw it coming, ya he was off by a few decades, but this surf doom forcasting is still an un-ridden realm. Still seems like he kinda nailed it. “These few Wall Street Flesh Merchants seek to unify surfing only to extract the wealth”….Is it the beginning of the ‘cave in’ and the ‘Great Cataclysm’?…..and a return to the Genesis Period?………..
My wife loves Lululemon and loves Julian it’s is truely a match made in heaven according to her and definitely worth whatever it is worth
1/ Salary cap the Tour d’ and it would be a much better watch.
2/ “Sando”? – do you mean “Sanger” [ie sandwich].
I vote for BeachGrit to sponsor Wiggs. He’s a good cunt and we need him out of those attics and crawlspaces running ducts for unappreciative shit cunts.
Sounds surprisingly similar. Bike dorks do have the the advantage of all that spandex to billboard themselves up with. So much acreage to sell!
what is a lululemon?
And to be fair the road bike industry and supporting paraphernalia absolutely dwarfs the surf industry.
Beach Grit should corrupt the yoga scene and crush lululemon with Hot Yago Pants. Or Yago Dora the Explorer signature hiking apparels.
Sometimes the best defense is a good offense.
A good offense will get you to the Super Bowl. But the best defense wins you that Super Bowl.
Given the success of the gig-economy, could brands just rent a surfer for an event? That would save thousands on all the days they aren’t surfing.
The gig economy is dead in California.
Imma let you finish but I just wanted to say that there’s nothing worse than a sponsored 10 year old acting like the sticker is a licence to be a little cunt.
Professional surfing sowed the seeds of its own demise by trying to make surfing respectable – kids in malls want to give “respectable” the finger. Beachgrit needs to sponsor a total mongrel and bring surfing back to its disreputable roots.
Worst thread ever.
That’s heavy from a sheet wearer.
It’s a nightmare in this heat!
Where’s your portable aircon?
Just got home
Turned it on
Bringing the climate to it’s knees