"Locals describe a frenzied scene..."
But what is your favorite historical totalitarian regime of all time? Oh I know these matters are not polite to discuss but if you had to choose. Are you a Khmer Rouge kinda gal? Did the very talented Nadia Comeneci give you a taste for Nicolae Ceausescu’s Romania? Does Eritrea’s People’s Front for Democracy and Justice float your boat? Benny Mussolini?
A very difficult decision but let me make it even more so by adding the State of Hawaii which just nationalized the surf school permitting process at the popular Kahaluu Bay on the Big Island.
And have you been to the Big Island? Shane Dorian lives there and hunts wild pig but apparently there is an epidemic of surf schools crowding lineups too, unregulated, causing much hurt feelings and annoyance.
Surf schools, am I right?
Well, the State, in a decisive authoritarian action being called The Night of Long Boards, decided to cap the number of schools at four and to control the permitting process but we must learn more from regime organ West Hawaii Today.
“The State fulfilled its obligation but the County ran into difficulty with selecting which four commercial surf school companies would receive permits. The State was asked to take the lead and is working closely with the County of Hawaii to amend the current Hawaii Administrative Rules to determine the appropriate number of commercial surf school permits that should be issued for Kahaluu Bay,” the division stated, but did not provide the number of permits being considered.
Ossian Farmer, sole proprietor of FBI Surf School, said the surf schools operating at Kahaluu remain in the dark on the issue as they haven’t been kept in the loop unless speaking with one another or pressing the DLNR. He thinks the previous determination of four schools with eight students each was correct.
“That’s 32 people in the water — not including instructors — already that’s pretty crowded,” said Farmer. “Right now, there’s probably 10 surf schools taking out as many people as they want. We just need to do something.
Very wonderful except it would be even more wonderful if the all-knowing State capped the number of surf schools across all islands at zero.
No?
Do you make a living from the surf school trade? Do you hate all forms of totalitarianism wherever, whenever they appear? First they came for the soft tops and I said nothing because I don’t ride a soft top etc.?
Launch a lightly funded insurrection!
More as the story develops.
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8 and under, terrific…keep kids safe and happy. Everyone else? Go to school for something more important and stop destroying our way of life…
Love this and hope they ban all of them. Either take it private or try on your own. Definitely discussing this on the next Dropping In. https://bleav.com/podcast-s…
The first rule of learning to surf is you DO NOT learn in popular breaks that have experienced surfers surfing there. You go somewhere where there is no one else. Shut em all down. These kinds of tyrannical rules and regulations are a result of Hawaii becoming a globalists state ran by left wing criminal tyrants who want to strip the wealth and power from the United States middle class
I prefer my toast on bread. It tastes better.
Well, we’re all very thankful here that you didn’t.
Same problem on Maui. If you want to avoid the crowds just be out in the water at before sunrise (~6:00) and be ready to wrap it up at 8 am when the surf schools start.
So what you’re saying… is that you’re totally clueless about everything to do with the Big Island and the local dynamics and people? Yeah, sounds about right from your previous post.
I grew up in Kona and I can tell one thing.6 people in the take off peak is 2 too many at.There is a decent left sometimes.But really,32 Is not possible.The reef is very shallow and almost no waves break inside of the take off zone.The area there is extremely important with Hawaiian history.
You are right about the schools.I went to them and pretty much learned nothing except smoking pakalolo.
On a lighter note,when I was in 12th grade ion Kona the park was full of hippies and we pretty much hated them.One night after consuming too much beer we went there and rolled them up in their tents and then rolled them into a pond.The pond was maybe 2 feet deep.It was fucking hilarious.They were gone the next day.This was in 1971.
Back when I taught surf lessons in Santa Monica I had several women take private lessons from me that turned into drinks, which turned into… you get the idea. Being a gigolo felt great!
Maybe that’s what they’re cracking down on?
Surfing Rule #1: “When a set comes, you have no “friends.”
Ex-pro surfers gotta come up with a better post-career game plan than starting a surf school.
this
I’m from San Diego, CA & tourists just add to the congestion. Especially at my local taco shop!
Killing a few sharks in the name of science isn’t the same as propegating widespread fear and hatred of such a beautiful endangered animal, to the point where laypeople are afraid to go in the water because they believe that sharks are hunting humans down with a vergence.
Is this guy serious?is this an onion article ? I happen to have first hand experience at this beach and regulation is in serious need. 60 people out at a break with one left and right peak. I watched a fight break out between a local body boarder a and a fat 50 year old man, learning to surf on a stand up paddle board. It’s a zoo out there. So pick one, old school localism where the line up is decided with fists or with civil discussion and compromise. I honestly don’t care Wich one.
I’m a fit athletic 62 year old surfer of 50 yrs. Any body boarder, sup rider, longboarder, paddle skier and the like f#ks with my wave will get a sharp fist to the nose and on the beach a kick to back of head. Localism will eventually come back due to pressure
Just don’t slip and break your hip.
So YOU would not be a local…
You haven’t been to the Big Island, have you?
I have never met anyone who regularly surfs that started out at a surf school. I think people use surf schools for a surf experience on their vacation then go home and won’t surf again.
Right. And if they do continue to “surf” they never graduate from a softy
Kids’ surf schools should never be discouraged. I helped run a free surf camp for kids in norcal and lots of them are still surfing after 15+ years. I have surfing friends that went to kids surf camps in SoCal and they still shred.
Agreed
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At best this is Authoritarianism. Not anywhere close to Totalitarian.
If you don’t know the difference, here it is: Authoritarian allows all but which the state doesn’t want. Totalitarian allows nothing but what the state explicitly allows.
All the disgruntled teachers who lose their businesses should just offer lessons for free for awhile, and crowd it out even more. lol. Screw it. How many students, no I mean friends, can i get out here day after day to share the aloha if it’s free? Seize the means!