"Suspicious by nature."
Big Surf, in Tempe, Arizona, is where most surfers aged twenty and up got that very first taste of our thoroughly dystopian present. For it was at Big Surf that Rick Kane wiggled and jived his way to a surf competition victory, winning a belt buckle and enough money to change his destiny forever.
Surf competitions in a pool. Who could imagine such things? But there it was before our eyes. Today, of course, we have Surf Ranch, Wavegarden, BSR Cable Park, URBNSRF and possibly still Surf Lakes though no one has seen or heard from the Yeppoon facility in some time.
A very long time, now that I think about it, and someone should go do a welfare check to make sure Mark Occhilupo and Barton Lynch’s love child is still breathing.
Speaking of welfare checks, police in Tempe, Arizona just carried one out very near Big Surf and found a dead man inside an apartment. Per the local news:
Officers were called to the scene just after 4 a.m. when somebody who was concerned because they had not seen or heard from a friend in some time requested a welfare check.
According to Detective Greg Bacon of the Tempe Police Department, the address officers were given is a rented office space, and the door was open when they got there. They found the dead man inside.
Police have not officially identified the man, nor have they said how he died. Bacon said investigators are looking at surveillance cameras in the area, as well as talking to people who were in the area when officers arrived.
Bacon said the man’s death in “suspicious by nature.”
And I’ll solve this crime right now.
Oh we were promised such a bright, brilliant future with these pools. Waves on demand. Waves conjured via button but if Surf Ranch has taught us anything it is that Kelly Slater has an evil master plan to descend humanity into madness. Never before have I seen such hungry eyes, such lust-filled eyes, as I did at surf journalist day in Lemoore, California.
An infinite resource made finite. Doled out like precious gems. Not enough. Never enough.
I’m not suggesting that Kelly pulled the trigger, or plunged the knife, there in Tempe but neither did Charles Manson there in Benedict Canyon.
Speaking of “plunged” though, Surf Lakes. Any news? Any updates?
More as the story develops.