"Fifteen years ago you got out of the water and drank a beer."
But when you think of this, our current epoch of professional surfing, are you happy? Filled with joy? Positivity? Or do you quietly mourn that once upon a time when surfers were curse-mouth’d derelicts?
But where do you stand? In front of your still wall-tacked poster of Andy Irons?
On a SUP with visions of Kai Lenny dancing through your head?
Somewhere in between?
Well, there is no doubt that surfing as a “sport” has cleaned right on up but who is to blame/credit with squeaky cleanness?
According to The Economist our eyes belong on Gabriel Medina and let’s absorb this hot take quickly.
Gabriel Medina, arguably the best surfer in the world, grew up in Maresias, a coastal town in Brazil known for its white sand and rolling waves. As a child in the early 2000s, he watched his fellow Brazilians compete in the world surf championships in Hawaii. They were known as “small-wave surfers”: scrappy but second-rate. Australians and Americans took home all the trophies.
That changed in 2014, when Mr Medina’s daring aerials and cut-throat competitiveness led him to victory. His generation, called “the Brazilian storm”, professionalised the sport. “Fifteen years ago,” says his trainer, Allan Menache, “you got out of the water and drank a beer.” Adriano de Souza, a Brazilian surfer who went pro before Mr Medina, introduced unprecedented discipline. Cross-training (eg, swimming and yoga) gave him and his compatriots an edge.
Do you agree?
I’m going to blame/credit a combination of Kelly Slater and polo-shirt-tucked-in-to-light-blue-demin-held-together-by-braided-belt Dirk Ziff.
I’m going to call it “synergy.”
Uprising: Brave group of anonymous pro surfers force International Olympic Committee into “Place of Shattered Skulls!”
You may recall, a handful of months ago, when I attempted to lead our professional World Surf League surfers in an uprising against CEO and Lord Commander over the Wall of Positive Noise Erik “ELo” Logan. To demand their God given right to say naughty things about professional surfing contests, to say “It was horrible out there today and the judges are blind and this whole charade is nothing more than a damned tennis tour etc.”
My efforts were met with deafening silence and I assumed that surfers, much like masochists, enjoyed their bondage. Enjoyed a ball gag in their mouths but as it turns out, I was the problem. Like Mayor Pete Buttigieg I was uninspiring and tepid, a soggy rag that no one, neither people who utilize co-working spaces nor professional surfers, would ever get behind.
And you already knew that Olympic surfing 2024 would be in Tahiti but how? Why?
Well, it was reported today, across multiple platforms including The Washington Post where “democracy dies in darkness” that an unnamed group of professional surfers raised their voices loud toward the all-powerful International Olympic Committee and forced a venue change. Forced the surfing discipline to be moved halfway across the world from Hossegor to Teahupoo.
The Place of Shattered Skulls.
But you musn’t take my word for it for my word is weak and useless. A thoroughly embarrassing whine.
The surfing events at the 2024 Paris Olympics will be held on the other side of the world in Tahiti.
The International Olympic Committee signed off Tuesday on Paris organizers’ wish to send surfing competitions more than 15,000 kilometers (9,000 miles) away to the Pacific island instead of using France’s Atlantic coast.
Olympic leaders were won over despite IOC President Thomas Bach initially saying last year that he preferred keeping athletes closer to the host city.
Paris officials told IOC executive board members Tuesday they found “overwhelming support” among the surfing community for going to Tahiti.
“The (board members) were convinced by the enthusiasm of the Paris 2024 presentation,” IOC spokesman Mark Adams said. “They assured us, and went through sustainability and, importantly too, the popularity among athletes.”
And thank you professional surfers, ye athletes, for your bravery in providing us with maximum entertainment. But do you think any on tour voiced dissent like Gabriel Medina did when it was time to surf in Western Australia? Do you think any suggested holding the contest somewhere less shattered skull-ish?
Also, do you think Jeff Bezos made a lateral move in divorcing his longtime wife…
…for Lauren Sanchez?
Or do you think Lauren Sanchez is $36 billion better?
More as the story develops.
Apocalypse Now: Horrifyingly massive 32-foot shark menaces boat near New Zealand’s coast, “emotionally overwhelming” passengers!
A 10-foot shark is one thing, a 17-foot shark quite another but a 32-foot shark? 32-feet of menace and fear? 32-feet of terror and hell? Well, it’s enough to stop even the stoutest of hearts and so it is no surprise that passengers aboard a boat named Bay Explorer were left “emotionally overwhelmed” by their encounter with one of the terrifying giants of the deep.
Emotionally overwhelmed and likely forever scarred (or is it scared?) and we must turn to their quivering voices, their fear-tightened larynxes for the absolute climate change inducing latest.
Climate change because, obviously, how does an apex predator grow to more than 17-feet? How does it basically double in size?
A lack of respect and a flagrant disregard of surfing etiquette is causing havoc at popular Gold Coast surfing breaks – with a mother smashed by a rogue longboard at Snapper Rocks over the weekend. Later that day, a young girl hit in the face by a longboarder was rushed to hospital with stitches to her face, a broken nose and possible bruising on the brain. According to Terranora local Leesa Laug, surfing accidents involving “inexperienced” people on longboards, VAL, are becoming commonplace and she fears for the safety of her children in the ocean.
Another local, also quoted, calls for a ski-style ranking for surf access. Lesser talented surfers denied admission to the premier breaks, forced instead to ply their trade on the green trail peaks of a yet-to-be built local wavepool.
There needs to be respect for the unspoken rules of surfing, the article continues.
Basic safety measures. Legropes made mandatory. Crowd control etc etc.
I’ve spoken before about the death of the Pass as a surf spot.
Are Snapper and its nearby points that far behind?
Would you surf it on a four-foot south-east swell with light offshores puffing the endless caverns open for just you and your closest 3000 pals to enjoy?
Maybe, if you could get The One.
Could a caste system for surfing, like the one being proposed at the Bristol wave pool, work for the Gold Coast? How would it operate? Would it even make a dint in the crowd at the Superbank, anyway?
And more fundamentally, do we need this Draconian level of state control?
Is the surfing world crying out for the firm hand of a benevolent dictator to bring order to its chaotic lineups?
As climate change-fuelled cyclone swells continue to unfurl down the east coast honey pot of points, and state and federal tourism boards in concert with the WSL do their best to send more surf-tourists there during peak competition times, things will only get worse.
The question will not go away.
Is there a vaccine out there to keep the VAL-pocalypse on a leash?
Does anybody have the cure?
I’ll leave the last words to mumma Laug:
“Back in the day if you were a learner you’d never go to a popular break until you were at a certain level, now everyone wants to be seen there and to project that cool image. Everyone needs to wait their turn in line and if you muck it up well back to the end of the line for you, these days there’s no such thing as getting in line. There’s no respect, it’s gone out of the window.”
The old wooden beach shack is gonna get belted and replaced with six of these villas. @hga.architects
Surfing heartthrob turned real estate developer Owen Wright reveals plans for $5 million hunk of land in Byron Bay!
Owen is a professional surfer who has been competing on the WSL world tour for 10 years. Travelling the world he has stayed in many beautiful holiday homes. Inspired, he wanted to provide holidayers in Byron Bay with his own luxury, architecturally designed accomodation.