A 10-foot shark is one thing, a 17-foot shark quite another but a 32-foot shark? 32-feet of menace and fear? 32-feet of terror and hell? Well, it’s enough to stop even the stoutest of hearts and so it is no surprise that passengers aboard a boat named Bay Explorer were left “emotionally overwhelmed” by their encounter with one of the terrifying giants of the deep.
Emotionally overwhelmed and likely forever scarred (or is it scared?) and we must turn to their quivering voices, their fear-tightened larynxes for the absolute climate change inducing latest.
Climate change because, obviously, how does an apex predator grow to more than 17-feet? How does it basically double in size?
A lack of respect and a flagrant disregard of surfing etiquette is causing havoc at popular Gold Coast surfing breaks – with a mother smashed by a rogue longboard at Snapper Rocks over the weekend. Later that day, a young girl hit in the face by a longboarder was rushed to hospital with stitches to her face, a broken nose and possible bruising on the brain. According to Terranora local Leesa Laug, surfing accidents involving “inexperienced” people on longboards, VAL, are becoming commonplace and she fears for the safety of her children in the ocean.
Another local, also quoted, calls for a ski-style ranking for surf access. Lesser talented surfers denied admission to the premier breaks, forced instead to ply their trade on the green trail peaks of a yet-to-be built local wavepool.
There needs to be respect for the unspoken rules of surfing, the article continues.
Basic safety measures. Legropes made mandatory. Crowd control etc etc.
I’ve spoken before about the death of the Pass as a surf spot.
Are Snapper and its nearby points that far behind?
Would you surf it on a four-foot south-east swell with light offshores puffing the endless caverns open for just you and your closest 3000 pals to enjoy?
Maybe, if you could get The One.
Could a caste system for surfing, like the one being proposed at the Bristol wave pool, work for the Gold Coast? How would it operate? Would it even make a dint in the crowd at the Superbank, anyway?
And more fundamentally, do we need this Draconian level of state control?
Is the surfing world crying out for the firm hand of a benevolent dictator to bring order to its chaotic lineups?
As climate change-fuelled cyclone swells continue to unfurl down the east coast honey pot of points, and state and federal tourism boards in concert with the WSL do their best to send more surf-tourists there during peak competition times, things will only get worse.
The question will not go away.
Is there a vaccine out there to keep the VAL-pocalypse on a leash?
Does anybody have the cure?
I’ll leave the last words to mumma Laug:
“Back in the day if you were a learner you’d never go to a popular break until you were at a certain level, now everyone wants to be seen there and to project that cool image. Everyone needs to wait their turn in line and if you muck it up well back to the end of the line for you, these days there’s no such thing as getting in line. There’s no respect, it’s gone out of the window.”
The old wooden beach shack is gonna get belted and replaced with six of these villas. @hga.architects
Surfing heartthrob turned real estate developer Owen Wright reveals plans for $5 million hunk of land in Byron Bay!
Owen is a professional surfer who has been competing on the WSL world tour for 10 years. Travelling the world he has stayed in many beautiful holiday homes. Inspired, he wanted to provide holidayers in Byron Bay with his own luxury, architecturally designed accomodation.
But now that the Aquatic Guillotine has officially been declared the site of the surfing discipline for the Paris 2024 Summer Olympic Games the fun can really begin. As you well know, surfing is making its grand Olympic debut this year in Tokyo though it is very difficult to care because Japan has small waves in the summer and whether Filipe Toledo is dancing down waist high lines or the other short Japanese surfer who won Huntington Beach’s U.S. Open of Surfing not named Kanoa Igarashi it will feel stale and/or lightly funny.
But Teahupoo. The Place of Severed Necks. Much fun and many opportunities to dust off some of our favorite surfers.
The Olympic surfing qualifying process is straight-ish forward. Each nation gets two male, two female slots which shall be earned via World Surf League standings and participation in the ISA World Surfing Games and the Pan American Games. Now, normal surfing nations like Australia, France, These United States, South Africa will fill their slots via the WSL ranks but there are hundreds of other normal-adjacent non-surfing countries like Bulgaria, Qatar, Bolivia, Iceland with not one professional behind that Wall of Positive Noise.
Again, who cares about Japan.
And how much fun would it be for Laird Hamilton to strapped in one more time and Oh My God the world for proud little Latvia (citizenship sold for 60k Euro)?
How wonderful would it be for the great Bruce Irons to take one more swing for mighty Grenada (150k U.S.)?
Can’t you see Jamie O’Brien burning the Olympic rule book then the competition all while draped in Cambodia’s red, white and blue ($245k U.S.)?
Who else would you like to see?
Worth a crowd fun, no?
More as the story develops.
Official: French Olympic Committee declares “The Aquatic Guillotine” to be employed for 2024 Paris Games ushering in modern “Rain of Terror!”
One does not have to stretch the faculties too far in declaring France the greatest country on earth. Wines from Sancerre, cheeses from Normandy, clothing from Rue Cambon in Paris. Art, music, mimes, romance, flowers, songbirds and the most picturesque uprising in modern human history.
What is not to love about the French Revolution with its Bastille, Egalite and Guillotine, that proud symbol combining justice and public entertainment?
From 1793 through 1794 2600 people made that regretful climb to the thrill of a passionate audience.
The “National Razor” was officially mothballed in 1977 but is being gorgeously re-imagined for the upcoming 2024 Paris Olympic Games and let us turn to Australia’s favorite news source for the very latest.
The International Olympic Committee has approved the Teahupo’o surf break on the island of Tahiti as the site of the 2024 Paris Olympics surfing competition.
Located 15,000km away from the French capital in the South Pacific, the French Polynesian island is home to one of the heaviest waves in the world.
The World Surf League holds an annual event at the wave for its men’s competition but it is one of two heavy barrelling locations — along with Pipeline in Hawaii — where women do not compete.
Olympic organisers will likely attempt to hold women’s heats on days when the waves are smaller but if a big swell rolls through there could be carnage.
A modern Rain of Terror.
Justice and public entertainment on display once more.
Very exciting and we should all prepare our favorite decapitation outfits.