Official: French Olympic Committee declares “The Aquatic Guillotine” to be employed for 2024 Paris Games ushering in modern “Rain of Terror!”

Off with his head!

One does not have to stretch the faculties too far in declaring France the greatest country on earth. Wines from Sancerre, cheeses from Normandy, clothing from Rue Cambon in Paris. Art, music, mimes, romance, flowers, songbirds and the most picturesque uprising in modern human history.

What is not to love about the French Revolution with its Bastille, Egalite and Guillotine, that proud symbol combining justice and public entertainment?

From 1793 through 1794 2600 people made that regretful climb to the thrill of a passionate audience.

The “National Razor” was officially mothballed in 1977 but is being gorgeously re-imagined for the upcoming 2024 Paris Olympic Games and let us turn to Australia’s favorite news source for the very latest.

The International Olympic Committee has approved the Teahupo’o surf break on the island of Tahiti as the site of the 2024 Paris Olympics surfing competition.

Located 15,000km away from the French capital in the South Pacific, the French Polynesian island is home to one of the heaviest waves in the world.

The World Surf League holds an annual event at the wave for its men’s competition but it is one of two heavy barrelling locations — along with Pipeline in Hawaii — where women do not compete.

Olympic organisers will likely attempt to hold women’s heats on days when the waves are smaller but if a big swell rolls through there could be carnage.

A modern Rain of Terror.

Justice and public entertainment on display once more.

Very exciting and we should all prepare our favorite decapitation outfits.

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Johnny Spiteri
Johnny Spiteri
6 years ago

I guess that just guarantees us another four years of the Kelly shit show!

ricmatic
ricmatic
6 years ago

Cant get a wave at lowers = Hungarian olympic team!

channelbottom
channelbottom
6 years ago
Reply to  ricmatic

Dora’s progeny?

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
6 years ago

Is that because Wigg’s best work is so NSFW that you need to protect everyone?

@surfads
@surfads
6 years ago

Ahh can you imagine some of the lesser ranked countries being thrown over the ledge?

Would be like watching the Romanian B team playing the All Blacks.

A masterstroke!

channelbottom
channelbottom
6 years ago

‘The best waves, on the best surfers’

Phat-wan kerr
Phat-wan kerr
6 years ago

is this going to impact your training for 2024?

Ricky Spanish
Ricky Spanish
6 years ago

Early round heats will be a intense spectacle of carnage or lots of overview shots of “competitors” bobbing around pretending to be out of position.

vive45
vive45
6 years ago
Reply to  Ricky Spanish

Paddling just enough to miss it (unwashed Olympic viewer will be none the wiser…’oh he tried hard to catch that one’). Not that I’ve ever done the same….seen others. Ahem….

in tubo veritas
in tubo veritas
6 years ago
Reply to  vive45

Oh but the Rogue sets..that’s gonna be delightful


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