We're all getting eaten. You. Me. Our children. Their children.
Oh to be a surfer in South Africa. To be a surfer and brave, knowing that every single wave brings with it the very real opportunity of being feasted upon by a shark. Knowing that your very innards might be served up at the local shark braai where those sharks will pick and choose your most delectable bits while smacking their lips and critiquing your general quality. Liver no good, shot through over-drinking, for example. Lungs crispy and charred from one too many Gunstons.
Oh to be a surfer in South Africa while the rest of South Africa’s non-surfing population looks on, thinking, “That bosbefok is just asking for it, eh. Asking to get eaten, eh.”
Sharks, as you well know, love South Africa and love South African surfers.
But in a shocking turn, South Africa’s sharks are now encroaching upon the land and let us witness famous son Jordy Smith terrifying Instagram post. Let us watch a shark climb sharp rocks in order to feast on a terrified porpoise’s innards.
The end is certainly nigh.
And/or already here.
And/or was here, like, six months ago.
Or maybe not?
If porpoises are also learning to walk I think much fun for man as dogs are getting boring.
Do you disagree?
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Very disappointed. Yesterday, surfing a weird 3′ doubled-up swell, I duck-dived a wave and just as I popped back up, got hit by the following, unseen, wave. Smashed my beak into the board, because I wanted to test out Jamie Mitchell’s concussion theory. I noticed some blood dripping on my board. Didn’t go in, because it was glassy and we’re expecting days of SE winds. Not one shark showed up.
Chas, perhaps getting on a midlength will allow you to vent your anger appropriately at other ‘surfers’ and lift the shark filtered scales from your jaded eyes. 2 clicks of the old Google search bar and I can assure you, the ‘dolphin’ is a dwarf sperm whale, the ‘shark’ is a cape fur seal and the ‘blood’ is a defender mechanism, ink, like an octopus or squid would use.
Still, an intense and interesting interaction, just poorly reported.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/…
https://www.google.com/amp/…
I’m calling bullshit on all that Tim.
1: I can only see one animal and it looks vaguely like a shark.
2: if it’s “like an octopus or squid” then WHERES’S ALL IT’S TESTICLES???!!! I don’t seen any.
We gotta just keep it simple folks. All this magical thinking with elves and pygmies and dwarfs and shit has to stop. It’s 2019 and the world ain’t flat.
“WHERES’S ALL IT’S TESTICLES” God help us , as if maneating sharks aren’t enough to contend with now inconsiderate octopi high on testosterone plotting on raping marine life as we understand it. Next time someone tries to rob me in Mannenberg I shall definitely consider the ” drop the trousers , flash the gonads and then run like hell liberally spraying the ground with my defensive scent ” when a gun gets stuck up me snoot. I’m actually envious of the octopus having multiple means of proving his machismo in the face of adversity. When the magistrate asks me how many I displayed after being charged for indecent exposure , two somehow seems inadequate . Somehow I have serious reservations about running into multi-orgasmic calimarians on the backline when considering the shark menace in retrospect. Anyone ever been shagged by a horny pre-entre snack dish before?. Sharks actually seem domesticated by comparison , at least they don’t have leeridly filthy intentions , just hunger pains.
I like your stance on this matter.
I’m sure it’s just
Aquaman with Ebola.A plastic dollCool story but it’s a seal attacking a dwarf sperm whale. And that’s ink not blood. Carry on.
I hate seals.
That shark is a fur seal
Sorry to point out the obvious here like some type of ‘digital poindexter’ but yes, I disagree with above synopsis for following reasons:
The shark was already bleeding to death as it swam away from the jetty and boats so it was probably attacked by some vindictive fishermen wielding cruel blades after being caught. It clearly swam towards the rocks in panic while pissing out vast quantities of blood and crashed into rocks before thrashing about and swimming away in a thick plume of its own blood.
Hardly a cause for panic or thinking the end is nigh – unless you are a shark who has been captured by fishermen, or a member of the aquatic life depending on sharks to maintain balance in the marine food web, or you care about animal welfare.
There is of course another possibility that this shark was female and had a severe case of heavy menstruation before swimming out to sea and hopefully getting its bodily functions under control.
exactly. retards pretending they know everything.
That would explain all the sanitary pads being turned into emergency coronavirus face masks. Now it all makes sense.