Given the paucity of high-level surfing in front of us, will you be thrilled to watch Filipe, Brother, Griff and co oxidise Lemoore's water spouts?
Any port in a storm or so the rationale goes at three am in an emptying bar or, in our case, a year with no surfing contests.
So it was with much excitement that we fielded a rumour, straight from WSL HQ where twenty-five percent of its staff have been “furloughed”, that America-based WCT surfers were being mobilised for a Lemoore contest “within a month.”
The field will include Filipe Toledo, Kolohe Andino, Conner Coffin, John John Florence, Seth Moniz, Griffin Colapinto and the tank’s creator Kelly Slater; Carissa, if she decides to end quasi-retirement, Caz Marks, Lakey Peterson, maybe Stephanie Gilmore (Malibu crib), Courtney Conlogue, Sage Erickson, Malia Manuel and Brisa Hennessy if she can sneak in under the tortilla curtain.
The Freshwater Pro, of course, has never been a favourite of surfers or fans.
As Longtom opined last year, it was “damned with faint praise by Kolohe Andino, openly mocked by Jeremy Flores, universally panned as a doomed experiment by surf fans the Tub should have retreated back to its by now natural niche: as a novelty venue for things like Founders Cup and a high-priced corpo retreat. It ain’t a championship Tour stop. Especially one now stretched out over six days. That’s cruel and unusual punishment and I refuse to cover it.”
But, now?
Given the paucity of high-level surfing in front of us, Pentacoastal and Reynolds and Mini Blanchard’s new blog aside, I’ll be thrilled to turn on the WSL channel and watch Filipe, Brother, Griff and so on oxidise Lemoore’s water spouts.
Are you of similar mind?
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Tortilla Curtain ay? I like where we’re going with this.
Surfing sounds perfect. It’s not a real sport and no fans want to drive to the desert. Sold!
Nah, I’ve got reruns of The Last Dance to watch. In perpetuity.
“Mr. Jordan, this is the ‘Freshwater Pro’…” https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
If they can combine this with women in bikinis shooting AR15s America will joyfully tune in.
Just skip the surfing then and go straight to the bikinis and AR’s
Finally the WSL finds itself a truly captive audience – I look forward to not enjoying this!
I’m good with checking out the pool toys for a few minutes perhaps… but Pentacoastal and Dane’s vlog will get me through this dystopia far better.
Who is this Carissa person you speak of? It’s Riss.
Two words.
Tre. Sells.
Tre. Sells. Dope. On. The. Corner.
Tre Styles
nope
Don’t get in a hot tub if they have a beard.
Hopefully the online gambling sites will be running a book on it, pretty much the only reason I watch pro comps anyway…
Will never watch another second of that pool.
Eisbach or die!
Flussfahrer!
I don’t know about similar minds
Re, little dickies flying everywhere, but yes
Bring it
South America is also America.
This is all we’ve wanted. Best surfer free surfing in front of our judgemental eyes.