Join Chas Smith and Steve “Longtom” Shearer on Dirty Water, episode seven…
In today’s episode of Dirty Water, which is episode seven, and hot on the heels of our capitulation to WSL CEO Erik Logan who left Chas and I crumpled on the floor like drained wine-skins, we bring in the razor-sharp analysis of BeachGrit‘s best writer Steve “Longtom” Shearer.
Longtom you know for his ability to turn even the gloomiest of round one at a WCT event into a work of literature and for his reporting on such matters as the Slater-WSL billion-dollar wave pool and canal estate development on Sunshine Coast wetlands and the mat-rider v former world number two assault case at Lennox Head.
Many topics are covered in a rambling sorta conversation including a recent incident at Lennox Head where Kelly Slater set the town “aflame” after, allegedly I suppose since I wasn’t there, fading a local grommet who is the kid of the joint’s great enforcer and ending with Kelly promising the kid a private surf session in Hawaii.
There is conspiracy talk.
“Kelly’s a libertarian conspiratorialist,” says Chas, before Longtom interjects with a little game.
“Bill Finnegan is going to write a hundred words on Kelly Slater, what’s going to be in the first sentence,” asks Longtom.
Greatest surfer of all time,” says Chas.
“Loves Instagram,” I say.
“What else?” asks Longtom. “Starts with E.”
“Empath?” says Chas
Longtom booms, “Environmentalist! That’s how the world knows him!”
Chas retorts, “Everything Kelly does has an eco-centric point in it. But, for reals, Kelly Slater has done more damage to the earth than any non-politician of the last decade. That man has travelled, spewing carbon into the atmosphere, the amount of surfboards he’s chewed through, he’s the most damaging human of the last ten years.”
“And draining the Coolum wetlands to build a canal estate makes him number one with a bullet,” says Longtom.
It goes on, and then on some more.
Finishes with lovely story about roosters and a tortured John Fante poem.
(Available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcast, Stitcher, TuneIn + Alexa, iHeartRadio, Overcast, Pocket Cast, Castro, Castbox, Podcast Addict, Podchaser, Deezer and Listen Notes.)
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Slater is an amazing person and very accomplished something this writer will never be.you ever been surfing you kook ?oh in surf lingo that means your green or fuckboy.who pays for your conspiracy 5th grade level literature?they should go surfing and maybe youll loosen up and quit hating .or smoke weed and stfu
Fuck this writer and thats the dumbest shit ive ever read
It’s not mandatory to join a Kibbutz and you can opt out of any religion. Anything is possible, even agreeing with someone in principle if you dont share many common points of view.
Pretty clear who Kelly wouldn’t let inhale his bone!
Write a real article if youre gonna bash someone. Use english. I’m not defending Slater, but back your accusations with fact. Yeah
hah, I seemed to have ur attention…do you respond to EVERYONES comments…??? anyways… kelly slater is just a mere human that can, by all intents,do a hell of alot more, as a human, then you ever could….he is no idol of mine, just a mere man that I can stand shoulder to shoulder with…I myself being the surfer that tamed IRMA and a slew of the nastiest hurricanes to hut the east coast. I by all accounts am the legend that dares surf the worlds nastiest storms ever so i see someone akin in slater….if your crying cuz some tres got cut down and some water got drained….and your american….look at what this country has done itself to destroy our land….do we really need a history lesson of the rape of this land….and ur giving slater shit….computer nerd look at what all the worlds buildup just for technology has done and ur sat here ranting about 1 person….you must really think Slater to be intriguing to have spent ur hard work and precious time to have written such an IMPORTANT story….
hah, I seemed to have ur attention…do you respond to EVERYONES comments…??? anyways… kelly slater is just a mere human that can, by all intents,do a hell of alot more, as a human, then you ever could….he is no idol of mine, just a mere man that I can stand shoulder to shoulder with…I myself being the surfer that tamed IRMA and a slew of the nastiest hurricanes to hut the east coast. I by all accounts am the legend that dares surf the worlds nastiest storms ever so i see someone akin in slater….if your crying cuz some tres got cut down and some water got drained….and your american….look at what this country has done itself to destroy our land….do we really need a history lesson of the rape of this land….and ur giving slater shit….computer nerd look at what all the worlds buildup just for technology has done and ur sat here ranting about 1 person….you must really think Slater to be intriguing to have spent ur hard work and precious time to have written such an IMPORTANT story….
This coming from a person who has probably never been barreled once in his life oh, a person that’s never surfed waves the size of buildings a person that cant possibly fathom how a single man has done more and uplifted more spirits by his physical Feats that are miraculous btw!!! Listen I get it draining the wetlands you’re ruining the environment but if that’s what you’re really going after look at your government and the world around you hypocrite Kelly Slater is damn near on the level a demigod. Anybody on this planet that does anything outside or even inside their own domicile leaves a carbon footprint on this planet so to attack one person just because you’re a hater and you can’t do anything that Kelly Slater can goes to show just how weak and volatile and insecure your spirit is I challenge you to go swim into even at least a five foot windy day at any Beach on a surfboard and tell me that you almost didn’t I Kelly Slater surf 30 ft + bro so shut the fuk up
Dude it’s OK to stick up for Slater being slandered on the back of a brain fart comment in a podcast but you can’t just put people on a pedestal beyond reproach simply because they’ve been successful in a particular field.
There’s heaps of cunts who’ve been super successful but they are still cunts. Musicians, film stars, businessmen spring to mind, as well as elite sports people.
After viewing it now I thought it quite good and far better than listening to ELo and his trained Elf read from their Dirk script.
Intetesting to see that Longtom and I share a couple of similar interests haha. These birds are gnarly fighters whose spurs are like blades…(and they don’t crow at 3am)
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Too many podcasts!! Is this one any good?
I used to have 8 or 9 peacocks and hens, eggs are great for cooking!! A pain to catch em tho, but they are fairly dumb, so pancakes in a cage always worked. The 4 AM murderous screams they made pissed off the neighbors, we “donated” them to the local zoo and some other places where they roosted. Over the fence with em.
I’ve never found their eggs, the sneay buggers hide them somewhere, just shoot a few of them every few months and they’re bloody good eating, just like a massive juicy chicken…
I’ve always wanted to try peacock or peafowl. I hear they are good. I eat a lot of wild game birds.
Peacock is a white meat without any gamey flavour, if there is anything that ‘tastes like chicken’ (like supposedly all sorts of things do but actually don’t) it’s peacock. Just way bigger and juicier
Hillel was fuckin’ rad though.
I don’t mind mocking Kelly’s hypocrisy but it’s way out of line to make accusations like that, even if they are flippant.
It just makes you look ignorant.
How about I dunno, Richard Branson? How’s Kelly stack up against him?
How about that icon of eco friendship, Yvon Chouinard? The guy who ships his crap all over the world in ships that run on diesel.
What about some of your shaper friends, how big a pile of foam and resin would 30 or 40,000 boards make?
I think as an ‘individual’… ie personal consumption… Kelly would still stack up as one of the highest contributors worldwide. And possibly don’t think he denies that given the amount of focus he puts back on recycled materials etc. through the organisations he has a part in.
Sure there are the points to be made about Yvon, Branson, Ikea man (Ingvar) etc. but these are all based on contributions from organisations that they control…. not related to their own personal consumption. And the same to be said for shapers… ie Matt Biolos’ own personal surfboard consumption would pale in comparison to someone like Kelly or another long time pro.
I’m not buying that line of argument.
You can’t say Matt Biolos gets off free because someone else bought the board. All Kelly would have to do is give away every board (except those that he snaps in half?) and his slate would be wiped clean if that was the case.
How about f1 drivers? You can’t say Kelly has a bigger footprint than them.
I can’t believe I’m sticking up for Kelly but even 5 minutes of thinking could come up with dozens of examples of people with bigger footprints on the individual level.
He was probly responsible for their megastardom
oh kelly kelly
semi-famous semi-sad
real friends or the mirror choose
A haiku, by Non John-san
FYI Planes do fly because Kelly needs to get somewhere….
Why not make a podcast and drop a pair of howlers?
1. Chas believes that the way he forms opinions on issues by consuming and interpreting information (specifically re coronavirus) is infinitely superior to the way everyone else forms opinions by consuming and interpreting information.
2. Derek thinks HIV is a homosexuals’ disease.
Keep up the good work?
It’s not? https://www.cdc.gov/hiv/gro…
jimmy! how’s the peepin? you big creep.
????
I’m not one to debate substantive issues in online comments sections (I’m more of a snark and sarcasm kinda guy) so I’ll summarise with a “no it isn’t”. Even using those US stats, the conceptual jump from “HIV” to “the plight of the gay” (paraphrasing, sorry, not going to listen back to find the words) really is a howler.
Chas – you admitted to being a surf journalist (in relation to possibly getting out of your tickets)- I’m so proud of you! Hope day 1 of non-drinking is treating you well.
This is probably one of the most painful interviews ever recorded. I’m so glad he was able to clean up.
Chas stick to writing about sharks.
Did you start of the discussion by banging on about Judaism like last week?
Jews… and…Commies, the former we adore, the latter, very, very bad.
Matt biolos loved talking about it. “can we talk about something else??”
It is possible to be both mate.
And they were first to use N-word on live TV in years . # MAGA
Wait until the NBA starts playing again in empty arenas and you hear literally every word uttered by players and coaches. You’ll think you’re at a 1960’s Klan rally in Mississippi.