Man (pictured) gazing lovingly at local surf shop.
Man (pictured) gazing lovingly at local surf shop.

Unexpected Surprise: Surf Shops come blazing out of quarantine, smashing sales projections, defying all odds!

Welcome to Ron Jon's, I love you.

We are entering a new phase of the Coronavirus Dystopia, a sort of respite between the pandemic’s first wave and second wave where mass unemployment leads to mass homelessness leads to mass food shortages leads to solving that problem by watering the world’s crops with Brawndo™ because it has electrolytes.

The only retail that remains open, after we’re through, is Costco, St<a>rbucks exotic coffee for men and, quite unexpectedly, core surf shops.

Industry newsletter Shop-Eat-Surf revealed today that sales at many of the world’s surf shops are not only surviving but thriving, smashing forecasts and even outpacing last year’s numbers, which may say more about last year’s numbers.

Per the report:

Patrik Schmidle of ActionWatch has repeatedly said during this crisis that core stores could be better positioned than many traditional retailers when they are allowed to open. Many industry stores are not located in malls but in individual locations or strip centers, which can make customers feel safer. And more importantly, they sell a lot of activity based goods like skateboards, surfboards and body boards – all things people can do in this virus era.

Fantastic no?

Very surprising… or maybe not. We surfers, we proud descendants of Spicoli, seem primed to thrive in our new future.

Now go away.

‘Batin.

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frank
frank
6 years ago

she may not get all the boy movie references, hell, I don’t and I’ve seen all those at least twice!

Douglas Spong
Douglas Spong
6 years ago

Not many of you will remember the late eighties recession. This was when the cogs of Australian industry came to an abrupt holt. The the Prime Minister was Bob Hawke and most trades were out of work and reverted to the governments “Dole” system, whereby the Governments handed out cash to the unemployed. The water was loaded with guys usually with new boards and wetsuits. This was “Bobs Surf Team”. Sales from surf shops just blew up and manufacturers were flat-out keeping up with demand. Seems like the situation is very, very similar right now. Never have we seen so many surfers in the water. In fact it is stupid just trying to get a wave.
Chas you are straight out idiot who believes he built the industry he has become the limpet of! Wanker!

Low wide stinkbug stance
Low wide stinkbug stance
6 years ago
Reply to  Douglas Spong

I dunno, did Chas get rich off selling cheap crap to wannabe surfers and name a brand of thongs after himself?

Douglas Spong
Douglas Spong
6 years ago

No, but Chas has a limited field of accomplishments. Vodka in afternoons, only renting white convertibles, dressing to impeccably rigorous standards (So Important in surfing) and using the history of surfing as told by Matt Warshaw with the implied possibility he himself may have sourced and developed these Peruvian facts himself. No reason to launch into my history with your trite, elitist opinions!

SoCalGary
SoCalGary
6 years ago

I love it that … Tilly’s sucks anyway – it is a small Wal Mart with only slightly better clothes.

Hippy
Hippy
6 years ago

vaguely remember… short, martin and someone?

short is very unique and talented man, but something about him creeps me out. like a gremlin doll comes to life and you can’t turn him off…. gremlin is not the right word… hobit!

yeah, I’m angry.

frank
frank
6 years ago
Reply to  Hippy

“when someone tells me I seem pretty angry, they are usually more than 3 feet away from me”
-Lee Marvin, from that one movie.

Hippy
Hippy
6 years ago

Never point your crooked finger at the orange clown of your devotion, eh BB?

Now Fauci is a democrat? Pffftttt…. your glorious leader has trained you well.

So, what is your fuhrer going to do with his only vocal medium? An Orange Clown without his phone social medium means more press conferences? He doesn’t like those unless he picks the questions. Fact checking is against his freedom of speech.

And the humorless, third person references of your own making…. but you nail chicks in airlines AND have a dedicated wife you love so much. Cake and eat it too.

Ricky Spanish
Ricky Spanish
6 years ago

Love a good Idiocracy reference. One of the best documentaries out there.

slaters foot
slaters foot
6 years ago

ok

Tomas' silky smooth arms
Tomas' silky smooth arms
6 years ago

Starbucks for men.

Magnum
Magnum
6 years ago

Lineups are packed up here in white shark land. Clearly the surf inclined are spending money on the necessary accouterments.

I know two young guys, stoked to be unemployed and getting more money than they made working and having pulled in a fat stimulus check, who are donning new suits and paddling their new Firewires into all the wrong places at all the wrong times (where I am, when I’m there).

My normally lonely after work surf on Tuesday looked like the beach party scene out of some cheese ball college movie. Every little glassy evening combo peak was crammed with 20 year olds. The smell of Axe body spray was dizzying.

Someone please send everyone back to school and work, thank you. (Except the long-legged beauty that smiled as she cross-stepped past- she can stay.)

Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
6 years ago

Or at The Mall of America.

slaters foot
slaters foot
6 years ago

it didn’t help in any way

Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
6 years ago

I don’t even think Ron Jon sees itself as a surf shop anymore.

Karl Von Fanningstadt
Karl Von Fanningstadt
6 years ago

Nice to hear surf is beating this! Like the surf shops, my surf label, Suspicious by Nature, has seen operations soar, steadying to levels seen before the pandemic (zero boards). Killing it!…

I’ve thought about getting a new board recently, since I’ve been able to save some money after never having to leave the house, but I can’t decide what to get… I like my current Sharp Eye board, but am afraid to even sneeze near it fearing it will snap in half because of their shoddy glassing, so I probably won’t get another one of them. I have tried some non-Big Time shapers only to confirm the reason they aren’t Big Time (their boards suck)… I don’t want to have to get a Merrick, but might just have to bite the bullet and buy one and start having people call me “Taj”

Otto
Otto
6 years ago

When there’s holes in your Stance, find that Stance wholesale.


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