Rumor: The World Surf League “intent” on holding the Triple Crown and Jaws Big Wave Challenge in the barely foreseeable future!

Bold moves!

But to float real forward thinking, progressive, non-chicken plans like holding a series of surf events on Oahu’s North Shore in, like, six months’ time and also holding a big wave event at the iconic Jaws when the winter swells start bashing, also like, six months’ time is where our World Surf League plants its flag today.

Theoretically.

For a very fine source from deep within the vacated belly of Santa Monica’s beast has declared that “the WSL is intent on holding the Triple Crown and also Peahi, if there is enough swell.”

Bold?

Audacious?

You tell me.

I was thinking, while ripping the early swells of the Coronavirus Apocalypse, that this moment here could be professional surfing’s moment.

Sport cancelled.

Life cancelled.

Fun cancelled.

Professional surfing could have, should have filled that void. A boat in the Mentawis, a gathering on Tavarua, Snapper, Bells, Western Australia, anywhere that could have had them, would have had them.

Cornwall, England.

ESPN was broadcasting baseball re-runs. It would have paid top dollar to broadcast live professional surfing in Cornwall, England.

It has been the only thing co-Waterperson of the Year Dirk Ziff wanted.

More eyeballs than football.

And it was completely botched by the weak-willed Santa Monica bastards who failed to realized their moment, going all in against the now accepted reality that Coronavirus is not an indiscriminate mass killer but rather flu-lite.

Oops.

Will heads roll?

They totally should.

But here’s to December and the Triple Crown.

Allegedly.

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
guest
37 Comments
Newest
Oldest Most Voted
loves2surf
loves2surf
6 years ago

Looking forward to a women’s Triple Crown this year too!

J H
J H
6 years ago

There is almost no fighting in playoff hockey which is both good and bad.

Justin Housman
Justin Housman
6 years ago

Well, if the WSL wanted pro surfing to resemble pro sports in America, they got their wish.

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
6 years ago

This be amazing, Pip surfing dogshit two foot Brazil waves for almost a year in preparation. He’ll be a lamb to the slaughter.

Billy Hunt
Billy Hunt
6 years ago

They should cede control to the BG commentariat.

Who would you vote for? Bexy? Wiggs?

Party Pete
Party Pete
6 years ago

Worryingly there may be some Brazilians allowed to travel there too: https://www.smh.com.au/worl…

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
6 years ago

Indonesia opens up for surfing on June 20 for foreigners who are already in the country.
Apparently still no international entry at airports planned yet though.
However you’d think a decent billionaire would be able to grease even the dryest of Indonesian palms and also charter planes for his bonded wave dancers and assorted slaves…

astro
astro
6 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

Yea – It’s like the film crew here in nz.
I don’t mind so long as there is 14day quarantine.
No matter who you are.
If that gets corrupted coz filthy millionaires then we’re all doomed to back n forth level 2 or 3 or 4 …. that’d suck.

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
6 years ago
Reply to  astro

True
And we should be opening up to the South Pacific first I reckon…

astro
astro
6 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

Yea, mate.
Definitely the Cooks first. They’re hurting and are kiwis so ….
Bubble.

John Wayne
John Wayne
6 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

Indo has been open for foreigners surfing the whole way through – just a few parts have not been. International entry is currently possible with a Kitap.

Karl Von Fanningstadt
Karl Von Fanningstadt
6 years ago

October 30, 2020 – Erik Logan crosses the bridge into North Palm Beach, feeling a little woozy. Earlier in the morning, the WSL canceled the Triple Crown Series in Hawaii for 2020. As CEO, Mr. Logan is worried about being held responsible for that major fuck up, even though it was his fault, he thought he’d win points for being “thoughtful” about the corona. Pulling into Ziff’s compound, he throws up in the Uber.
“Sorry, Mr. Frankenreiter.”
“It’s no problem… and you can call me Donavon.”
“OK, Donnie.”
Erik gets out of the Uber and places a twenty on the back seat.
“For the barf,” he laughs sheepishly.
“No problemo, boss man… ooh, wait, take the CD!”
Erik walks through the door of some part of some building on the property and immediately calls Dirk.
“Hi, Mr. Ziff. I’m here. Where am I going?”
“I didn’t get a notice from security that you were here,” replies Ziff. “Wait a minute, are you in Florida?”
“Yes.”
“We were supposed to meet in Martha’s Vineyard! Fucking my nutsack…”
“Oh, well I thought…”
“We can’t be hanging around there right now. We’re trying to lay low. Whatever, you’re fired.”
“Whoa, no bueno! Where is this coming from?”
“You’ve done nothing worthwhile since you been CEO. You were doing this whole thing to take trips to Tavarua… You fucking lost Hawaii! The only fucking thing that matters!”
“Can I tempt you with some unspecific corpo speak and greenwashing junk?”
“No.”
“Well neato. This is going to ruin my Halloween. I enjoyed my time at the WSL. Much aloha… can we delay this until after Thanksgiving?”
“Why?”
“No reason.”
“Fine. Fuck it. You’ve got until the Monday after.”
“Terrific!”
Erik walks out into the sunny, muggy Florida swamp air. He looks at his phone to see where his Uber is. It’s Frankenreiter again. Erik gets in.
“How did it go?” asks his driver.
“Not great. But also good… making it past Turkey Day. (Chuckling) Fuck Longtom.”

Otto
Otto
6 years ago

I wish Donovan would put down the fucking acoustic and go back to his Sunchild days. He ripped when he let loose on the electric.

Twinnie
Twinnie
6 years ago
Reply to  Otto

he surfed pretty good in full length jeans in TS’ Goodtimes movie.
Fucken hate his music but.

Uneducated
Uneducated
6 years ago

Love your work karl…felt like I was there

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago
Reply to  Uneducated

June 10 2020
Karl’s basement flat
Zwickau, Germany.
Yes!!
Beach Grit publish another of the WSL stories with making a fun of the Elo.
Now again they will see my talent in all its glorious satire!!
Post.
Of course now the up votes are flooding my notifications, I feel wonderful!!
Wait, this Bex, he is trying to be taking my attention!!
Ha, what a fool and look, one upvote from his goat friend, this is a loser!!
This tauschen will even comment on his disqus not having been working for his average of one upvote per comment.
Ah yes, my Uber eats has arrived and now I will dine on wiener scnitzel and Kartoffelpuffer.
Note to self
Feed the gefangene.

astro
astro
6 years ago

Jebus, full manipulation of the bratwurst, bexy !

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago
Reply to  astro

I’ve had a few karlsbergs

Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt
Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt
6 years ago

I feel wunderbar!

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago

Elos office
Jessie!!
JESSIE!!!
Hey where the fuk is Jessie myley fuken dyer?
Opens door, looks down the hall.
JESSIE MYLEY FUKEN DYER WHERE THE FUK ARE YOU!!
Sorry boss, I was busy doing, I’m, I was…
Shut the fuk up you dopey skip.
Now listen, take a note
Contact that KVF and arrange a meet, he’s gonna do my autobiography.
He really gets me,
Now get out and send in Patches and tell him to lock the door behind him.
OK boss.

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
6 years ago

They’re crazy not to it do it, or do something. Coronavirus lockdowns are sooo March/April 2020. It’s a June/July 2020 era!

Wilbur
Wilbur
6 years ago

No doubt! I’ve already trimmed my covid beard into my BLM mustache.

Otto
Otto
6 years ago

The WSL could be more European leg inclusive and rename Trip Le Crown.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago
Reply to  Otto

Courone le trip

@surfads
@surfads
6 years ago

Makes sense. Can’t wait to see how they fuck it up.

astro
astro
6 years ago
Reply to  @surfads

I reckon this is all Vans.
It’s the Vans Triple Cup – WSL has to front up or Vans will stream it themselves and make WSL seem even more pathetic …
Doesn’t matter if the internationals aren’t there coz covid – locals only entry. Be fucken good !
Ima watching, for sure. Volcom Pipe Pro n then Backdoor Shootout next up !

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
6 years ago
Reply to  @surfads

Its never a fuck up if the Waves are good.

@surfads
@surfads
6 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

I stand by my original comment.

ricmatic
ricmatic
6 years ago

2020 Triple crown – Lemoore, Palm springs Tullamarine. (beast mode but)

Hippy
Hippy
6 years ago
Reply to  ricmatic

Heavily anticipated.

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
6 years ago

Where there’s will, there’s ways
This shows that there is no will
And they’ve lost their way

Hippy
Hippy
6 years ago

I say why not?

Gotta start somewhere.

I think the NBA is fucking itself. MLB is butt fucking itself. And the NFL is laughing as everything for them is on schedule.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago
Reply to  Hippy

But NFL now have to run on their knees.
Brilliant, less head trauma!!

Otto
Otto
6 years ago

Goodell will be out of a job right soon. The owners have probably had enough of his shit at this point. Goodell has nothing to worry about though, as I’m sure Speaker will provide convincing job reference on Goodell’s job application for WSL CEO.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago
Reply to  Otto

That the guy doing the I’m sorry we suck press conference?
Yeah he’d fit in so well, WSL.
It all comes out in the wash
5 times jailbird
Multiple armed rob
Uses pregnant ladies as human shields
On hard drugs
Rap sheet showing in the cops cars.
Not worth killing but not worth the sainthood either.
The biggest PC luvie could not make this shit up.

Zero Wedge
Zero Wedge
6 years ago
Reply to  Hippy

Excuse me sir, but do you have a minute to talk about our saviour the NHL?

Gwen Walz’s Eyes
Gwen Walz’s Eyes
6 years ago
Reply to  Hippy

NBA starts late July in Orlando they announced a week ago.
Get with it bro.


37
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x