Man stronger than rabid bird dog gets extra power from champion cornerman…
Five years ago, the wife and baby of surfing photographer Chris White were swept across the North Shore’s Kam Highway by one of those great North Shore pulses.
The kid, who was strapped into his pram, was separated from mammy and deposited upside down, drinking water etc.
Now, if your kid and gal were washed across the Kam Highway by a rogue wave, who’d you want to be there to scoop ‘em up?
How about Kelly Slater, who just happened to be around ‘cause he couldn’t get out at giant Waimea?
A ludicrous dream, no?
But there he was, talking to a pal at the lifeguard tower at Rockpiles when he saw the catastrophe about to unfold: women in headphones, with pram, on bike path, about to be belted
So he runs over, gets to the pram, flips it upright, gets the kid’s head out of the water, scoops sand out of his mouth so he can breathe, helps out mammy, gives ‘em a lift home.
It’s the sorta thing that brings people together.
Ever since, Chris and Kelly have been buddies.
“He’s a surf Jesus,” says Chris, who is forty and lives in North Beach in Western Australia.
A year ago, Chris’ kid was watching a TV show called Ninja Warrior and asked his daddy, a water photographer, jiujitsu expert (purple belt, heading to brown real soon), bodyboard hellcat, if he had the strength and guts to throw himself into that sorta challenge.
“I thought I’d put my money where my mouth is,” says Chris.
He trained every day for nine months, “guns blazing.”
Ice baths. Recovery sessions. Real serious.
Submits an audition video to the TV station with testimonials from Kelly Slater among other celeb pals.
Does the physical test (chin-up bar dead hangs, push-up tests etc). Gets in.
And, there, on television, as he prepares for his run, Kelly on a giant screen, talking about his dear pal Chris White.
And then the run itself, Chris cavorting and thrusting towards various cones, furiously jiggling as he heads for the climax.
Does he win etc?
Nah.
“But I got so much out of it. It lived up to everything I hoped it could be and more. Fit, healthy and it had a flow-on affect to the rest of my life, mentally and physically.
Watch Chris here, with cheerleader Kelly.
I dunno about well spent. But thanks. I missed you all.
I’m not him kinky boots.
I was once saved by Slater. Happened at the Hurley Pro. After the hour and a half drive north to Trestles and the shuttle bus and the acai bowls and not giving in to buying shit for the kids, my marijuana medication had worn off completely. This was during the time when we try to hide the fact that dad is a stoner. As I sat in my beach chair smelling the sweet herb wafting from a group of Brazilians, I knew something had to give. About this time, The GOAT was preparing for his heat. His ethereal surfing briefly took my mind off the annoying predicament I was battling and just then I said “girls, I bet you can get his autograph when he paddles in! Woo hoo!”. As he paddled in they hauled ass down by the tower amongst the throngs of kids and other weirdo adult autograph seekers giving me the perfect opportunity to blaze not one, but two bowls of fine medication! All was well and I even got a shaka from the Brazil boys!
Thank you Mr Slater
Hallelujah!!!!!
Isn’t Slater amazing…
He’s a saint!
Hahaha. Slater saving the day again!
Hero status.
I just scroll the whole the blog till I saw he didn’t win.
I won’t read the rest later.
Losers aren’t worth a thousand words
11 hrs in and I’m the first to say that making a heart with your fingers is gay?
using gay as a derogatory slur is gay.
I’d tell you to suck a dick, but I know you’d like it too much.
Help! Have just been on World Spastic League website. Re Rumble, Cote says Seth and Carissa are a ‘Hawaiian powerhouse duo’ and that every team is ‘stacked’. Fucken embarrassing why do they talk so much shit.
“cote”is a king of talking dribble.
Too get your attention
Much as i dont like to brag…with the exception of every possible opportunity…but its quite possible I once saved a girls life
Had been renovating a unit in this complex for a few weeks. Not a wealthy part of town, there were the usual suspects about
One day whilst unloading my ute I was disturbed by terrible screaming, from around the corner. As I reluctantly headed towards the sound I passed by these 2 young fellows, whose faces were unfamiliar to me. “Don’t get involved” was all they said
Sound advice…that I didn’t take
It had to be fucking steroid head from unit 6. Cunts arms were as thick as my chest. His punching bag was sitting in her car…he standing next to the door, one hand i suppose on the key, to stop her starting the car, the other hand around her neck
“Everything ok?” OK I have never claimed to be a smart man
“Fuck off, I could fucking kill you” or something like that
” I am sure you could, but it won’t solve your problems. Why don’t you let your girlfriend go and sort it out with her when you have calmed down”
More sound advice
He didnt take it either
He made his way toward me at a solid pace
Athletically challenged though I may be…he telegraphed the big right so poorly, even i managed to dodge it with relative ease
Oh boy I hit that cunt hard…it even sounded awesome
I’d like to think his head bent back…but i would be kidding myself
I blocked the next half dozen punches with various parts of my face
My head hitting the ground hurt the most
Then I heard the screeching of her tyres…thankfully so did he. He chased her and left me be
I guess we can call it a respectable draw
Didnt really leave my house for a few months after that…so she never thanked me…have never actually seen either of them again
But if some chick gets on ninja warrior thanking an anonymous guy who took a bunch of punches to the head meant for her…you all know who she is talking about
If she calls me a hero…i won’t argue
Aim for the throat neck time m8
More sound advice. Cheers bud
Saw a tough guy yesterday pull off his wetsuit without a towel…. dude was wearing old trunks below his knees under his wetsuit??? He turns around to pick up his resin tint fish and the guy has a tramp stamp on his lower back the size of his waist. ????
You want to ask why, but he’s clearly not intelligent and makes poor decisions and let it go is my new mantra.
lol!
Fuck mate I’d be I bit off ya lurkin in the parking lot to be honest..that’s a lot of info for a passing glance if that’s what it was..
We aren’t allowed parking lots now Shroom and his fish was blocking my access to my car trunk where my board lives as he struggled with his wetsuit. Not much lurking, more like controlling my anger.
The board shorts under wetty is fkn deplorable but..
They’re Arse Antlers over here.
Nice thing Slater did. Ninja thing looks quite difficult and at my age no way.
I’m picking up the sarcasm, even without the /s. Nice work.
Not at all, credit due Slater on this one.
I would just stick with being sarcastic. Better optics.
Chacun voit midi à sa porte.
Inutile de discuter
Open question, who tattoo’s a necklace around his neckline?
Complete knob-nibblers…
Hey come on, those knobs aren’t going to nibble themselves. It’s a full and varied ecosystem and thank goodness.
Someone who either is “creative” or doesn’t ever want to have a job.
Big deal. I walked 4km into a local wave on Sunday. And now I can hardly move.
It’s always the following day that gets ya
As it turns out, I had probably the best surf all year the day after and a close second today. Looks like thrashing the body was the kick in the arse it needed…
Keep it going Lemon…. worse thing you can do is pass on surfs because it’s not as good as yesterday once you reach a certain age.
We had a shitty month, I passed on countless surfs that were really just paddles. You just have to stay active at some point. Once the old bones are loose, all good, but rust never sleeps amigo.
Fucken A. Am currently on a run of 4 days in a row. After the disappointment/struggle of the sunday, have been having much fun and feeling the good feels associated with a few hacks. Heading down the beach now.
Whats the sand look like in there?
It’s ok. Tide was still a bit high but a few wound through.
A ninja would use
Someone else’s bicycle
But not tell the cunt
With apologies to Eddie.
It is obvious that Chas Smith is the most sensitive man in surf journalism. These personal vendettas are pretty retarded. You constantly complain about how the WSL is too PC and doesn’t show what is actually going on in surfing. Then you hang shit on Kelly for scrapping with some fake Afghan dumb cunt on Instagram. I’m confused. Isn’t that the shit you wanted to see? I reckon it’s sick that Kelly tells cunts to get fucked on Instagram. He has that short bald man chip on his shoulder type of determination that cannot be underestimated. Anyway. Just taking a moment to point out the irony in it.
my boyfriend is Ninja!!
So I’m not racist.
Just a fetish for small things.
This TV show chips away at his culture tho.
Bex?
Immediately thought so too. He’s back! Trigger warning is fitting..
We jerked each other off last nite and during pillow talk he told me he’s not in timeout like your mod says, he’s actually banned.
He’s cool with it.
Thinks it’s pretty shit now with no Gmed action.
Typo?
I read Young Derek’s favorite gay beat expose in the Guardian and yay, I’ve finally found my very own gay surfing website.
Cheers fellas!!
Hey !
So are ya still Sad Man #1 ?
Edit: No, they made you start over !
Bwaaahahaha – you’ll always be the saddest in my book, mate.
Swiped left.
No offence.
Confirmed.
Was posting the other day under the handle Eatme.
I wondered if it was him at the time.
The lil grub …
Yeah … he’s back …
I’m a short bald man. Wanna make somethin’ of it?
Like, a smoothie or hearty stew?
How bout a set of stilts to reach your once prolific input/waste of time posting here?
Cuban heels, baby. A gold chain, and enough blow to make any man feel like he’s 10 feet tall.
Struttin’ I tell ya. Be STRUTTIN’.
Kinda see your point in that demanding rawness from the WSL and then ripping the piss if you get it is hypocritical (and let’s face it Slater pretty much is the WSL, as problematic as that is). But Slater getting into a verbal spat with a wind-up merchant using a fake account was more silly than raw, as was humorously articulated by BeachGrit.
I guess there’s nothing wrong with BeachGrit contradicting itself. That’s what keeps it nimble and unpredictable. I’d just like to note that Pete Mel is a fuck wit. Cheers.
Not grandmaster Melle Mel!?!
Mel C. of the Spice Girls?
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Nah this crackhead/hip hop legend!
Nice to see you back from your sabbatical CB
I don’t mind Pete, better than listening to pottz, or Cote, or strider, or rosy
I could listen to Rosy all day long…
most effeminate podcast voice as well
Like a muppet gargling nutz..
Harsh, but fair
Fuk his voice only broke a couple years back give the cunt a break..still waiting on the ball drop but..
Wiggs how does it feel that Nick Carroll upvoted this and you two are on the same team for once?
I oft ponder the impact of jesus on the lineup, not sure he would be great in the stinkeye enforcer type roll…with that turn the other cheek philosophy, but having someone who could bring you back from the dead would be more than handy
He would draw a crowd…but turning a one wave set into 70 000 or so could counter that well
To boogers his hardline attitude would be, pick that up and walk, you fucking cripple
Hes not likely to hit on your girl. Part of me can’t help but wonder if kelly didnt bone that guys wife after giving her that “ride” home.
Overall, I see more positives than negatives
cotw
Fully thought that pic of Kelly watching the shirtless “bodyboard hellcat” swingin’ around was photshopped.
Great bit of PR for Kelly, but a missed opportunity not to position himself in front of some Chinese literature.
or a picture of him with Sal Masekala
That was not a flattering image of Kelly.
He’s dm’n the production team as we type.