Kelly is deposited into round two (so what's new!), Gabriel makes a sharpish return and we gaze at Strider's attack dog tits!
There’s this thing about sports where every day of an event has to be wrapped in a hero narrative or, if you really can’t be fucked, a listicle. The hero narrative features the hand of god (Snapper), premonitions of victory (Brazil) and the Sea Biscuit effect (whenever Bede wins a couple of heats in a row). Very hard to write (skill, labour, inspiration) and the author almost always has to actually be at the event. Surfing World’s Sean Doherty is particularly good at these.
The listicle is just a series of unrelated events in point form. Easy to sling together, just scrape a tiny bit of goop from the webcast, and even quicker to read.
I’m a listicle kind of guy. I find the first three days of a pro event peculiarly laborious: all those sportsmen, all those heats, all those waves, all that judging, so precise and to one thousandth of a point, but… no one loses! A day-long warmup. A bureaucratic shuffle. A slight arrangement of the chairs on the lido deck. Even better than a listicle, of course, is the video form.
Highlights! In one minute! Like this:
…and did you know CJ Hobgood is retiring? A butterfly among the sand spurs. How we’ll miss!
Quote of the day: “I’ve never seen so many floaters in one round!” Ross Williams.
|
Turn your dial to this frequency tomorrow morning for more! (Click here!)
