BeachGrit’s Hollywood insider tells us several
of surfing’s most handsome twenty-somethings are courting (or being
courted) by MTV.
Balaram Stack, Luke Davis The Grey, Koa Smith, and Ian Crane—boy
toys the whole lot—are reportedly meeting today to discuss a
“possible reality TV show” with the world’s most insidiously
brilliant network.
The mind reels at the possibilities! What a strange smattering
of personalities! Will they bunk up somewhere tropical and let the
hijinks unfold? Will they snuggle up in the wintry north, with
Balaram as their ice-hardened guide? Please, let them be paraded
around exotic locales! Let them dance upon waves of whiskey and
dark, mysterious women!
The meeting comes at the heels of Mr Davis the Grey’s
international debut as SurfCore’s posterboy in this month’s issue
of Men’s Journal. You can see the silver fox San Clementian donning
Reef’s remarkable line made in collaboration with genius Japanese
designer Masafumi Watanabe, looking snap-fresh and more
camera-ready than most any surfer in recent memory. Perhaps
surfing’s sudden high dive back into international mainstream
fashion has something to do with it.
Or maybe MTV has simply forgotten about all their numerous other
surfing-related abortions.
Let us remember them in all their blinding brilliance!
Loading comments...
Load Comments
0
Surfer on surfer violence!
By Rory Parker
GoPro has opened up a whole new world of hurt!
I ran a guy down while surfing Chun’s Reef a
few years ago. It was a fun chest to head high day, slightly gooey,
very crowded, but the sun was shining, and all the girls from BYU
were out knee paddling around in their itsy bitsy bikini bottoms. I
think even Brigham Young himself would agree there’s little more
wonderful than a taut and tan teenage rear pointed proudly
skyward.
I snagged a fun set wave from behind the peak, as I bottomed
turned around the section some kid on a new Merrick dropped right
in without looking, doing a weak little fade right into my
path.
I didn’t see him until the last second. Unable to turn around
him I tried to stomp on the tail and apply the brakes, but only
succeeded in lifting the nose out of the water enough to spear him
in the ass at full speed.
I hit him hard, hard enough to be worried that I may have hurt
him fairly badly.
Chun’s is one of those waves where you can’t expect to have any
fun at all unless you accept the fact that you’re gonna get stuffed
a hundred times by a mix of surf schools students, SoCal
blow-throughs, and deluded Town clowns. It’s no big deal, if you
want to play serious surfer all you need to do is man up and surf
one of the million spots that are shallow and lack a nice deep and
easy channel.
After I speared the poor fucker the first thing I did was check
the nose of my board. Because priorities, I honestly thought I may
have buckled it. Seeing my log was fine I hopped on and sprint
paddled over to the moaning barney on the inside to check if he was
okay.
The look on his face when he saw me coming was pure comedy. Eyes
wide, face white, through his head was running every Hawaii
localism lie he’d ever heard. Never mind my haole transplant
status, to him I was some red faced, shaved head lunatic who’d just
kicked his board at him out of nowhere, come to exact my
revenge.
I pulled up short when I realized I’d scared him, asked, “You
okay?” He stammered something, apologized. I told him it was no big
deal, but be careful. No one wants to get hurt.
This video made the rounds a while back, but it’s worth a
rewatch. Attractive lady getting bashed in the gourd by some dude
on a rental, all of it captured in stunning wide angle GoPro
footage.
The funny thing about filming yourself surfing, the only people
really interested in it are those who truly rip, and those who can
barely stand. I don’t understand the purpose behind filming your
first few years in the water, but thankfully other people must,
because otherwise we wouldn’t be able to enjoy footage like
this.
Children are the worst. Watch this little brat totally ruin what
would have been the wave of a lifetime.
Seriously, the GoPro kook angle is the worst. Perched on the
nose looking back the camera will make even the best surfer look
like an arm flailing kook machine. But it can also capture carnage
like this, so it’s not all downside.
I’d almost definitely lose my temper over this one.
Until next time, here’s a little boy exercising poor judgment in
a public toilet.
Loading comments...
Load Comments
0
Biggest great white ever captured on
film!
By Chas Smith
Her name is Deep Blue and she lives a short swim
from San Diego!
Last year, off Guadalupe Island, Mexico, a
local researcher named Mauricio Hoyos Padilla tagged the biggest
shark ever filmed. She measures over 20 feet and is as fat as two
cows. He just released his footage and what a beauty! The best
part? She lives a short swim from San Diego!
Fun, no? Let’s surf! It’s 2-3 with light onshores!
Loading comments...
Load Comments
0
Nixon in China (part II)!
By Chas Smith
We are not enemies, nor even friends. We are
bros.
Richard Milhous Nixon, 37th President of the
United States, visited China in 1972. It was very historic as, up
to that point, there had been no formal relations between the two
countries. President Nixon met with Chairman Mao. They spoke in
generalities with one observer, Winston Lord, being less than
impressed with Mao’s style. “I remember distinctly, coming out of
the meeting somewhat disappointed…” he said. “I was impressed with
the physical impact of Mao. It was also clear that this man was
tough, ruthless, and came from a peasant background, in contrast to
the elegant, Mandarin quality of Zhou Enlai. However, I thought
that the conversation was somewhat episodic and not very full.”
President Nixon was impeached in 1974 and became the first
President in United States history to resign. In his final speech
he said, “We have unlocked the doors that for a quarter of a
century stood between the United States and the People’s Republic
of China. We must now ensure that the one quarter of the
world’s people who live in the People’s Republic of China will be
and remain not our enemies but our friends.”
Forty-one years later, Nixon, watch company from Encinitas, CA
is ensuring that the United States and China remain not enemies,
and not even friends, but bros. The Nixon surf team just went and
shredded Hainan Island. The waves looked fun. The Chinese
spectators appeared pleased/indifferent. The sun shone brightly on
all.
Loading comments...
Load Comments
0
Finally: Surf style is mainstream!
By Chas Smith
Men's Journal has declared 2015 the year of
SurfCore!
You’ve been waiting. You’ve been standing
inside your closet feeling the fool because your shirts are
Quiksilver and your pants are Volcom and your shoes are Globe and
you have absolutely nothing else to wear. You’ve seen the critical
stares of today’s youth when you step outside and even though your
Billabong tee is hiding underneath a fairly subtle
Brixton hoodie. You’ve been thinking, “Will I ever be cool
again? Will the girls ever look at me and not gag?”
Guess what? As of today, according to Men’s Journal,
you are! And they won’t!
Pop the bubs, darling, because this has been declared the year
of “SurfCore!”
Lumbersexual? Done. Normcore? So last year. 2015 belongs to you
and me. “Unlike with the lumberjack look or anything else,
surfcore is all about authenticity,” menswear designer Derek Buse,
tells Men’s Journal. “You can’t say confidently that every guy
wants to buy into the lumberjack look, because not every guy wants
to live and represent a lumberjack lifestyle. But with the surfing
lifestyle — the tan, the laid back vibes, the idea of always being
surrounded by your friends — the majority of guys would sign up to
have that aesthetic and live that life.”
Hell’s bells sign up for that aesthetic! Shit yeah live
that life! This whole business is written on our sexy pterygium
eyeballs and threadbare SurfExpo boudoirs.
“Surfcore comes from an actual community of people who live that
life everyday,” Joe Sadler, Derek Buse’s partner, continues. “It’s
a club that anyone can join, too. Any guy can go surf, and it’s
easy to fit in because it’s more than just a sport — it’s about
getting with your boys and finding a place to hang.”
Son of a bitch it’s more than a sport! Motherfuckin’ gettin’
with my boys and findin’ a place to hiz-ang!
But it is actually really complicated to look SurfCore. Read how here. And thanks Men’s
Journal! Someone is getting laid tonight (the guy who stocks
the milk at my local grocery store with the most serious neck tan
line)!