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The least of London's flaws is that he invented a manly flex-and-preen surfing archetype who would readily and happily conflate wave-riding with all manner of seriously dangerous activities—war, bull-fighting, boxing—and we've been stuck with this blowhard in one form or another (Buzzy Trent, Laird Hamilton, Billy Kemper) ever since. | Photo: EOS

Warshaw on iconic American novelist Jack London: “He was an out-and-proud racist…an ardent socialist who dressed like a plantation owner…(and) invented a manly flex-and-preen surfing archetype.”

With a brief detour into London's rectal fistulas…

In the Spring of 1907, writer Jack London, along with a crew of five, including his cheerful free-loving socialist wife Charmian, set forth out of San Francisco bound for Hawaii on the Snark, Jack’s leaky DIY yacht.

A few hours out of port somebody asked “Who’s navigating?” and they looked at each other for a few moments before slapping their foreheads in unison.

Whoops!

London’s roguish charm and lunatic confidence had this small crew literally sailing into the void. London, to his great credit, taught himself navigation on the fly—but they were lucky, 27 days later, to find Honolulu. While the Londons planned to sail the globe for seven years, the trip ended in Australia, 19 months after it started, with Jack in the hospital full of malaria, yaws, nail fungus, and two rectal fistulas.

The Snark was sold for a fraction of its building cost.

Waikiki was the highlight of the trip. Jack and Charmian both wrote in detail about the still-relatively unknown sport of “surf-riding,” and Jack’s essay, originally published in 1907 and later titled “A Royal Sport,” was the English-speaking world’s first full-length presentation of surfing.

London puts my hackles up for a few reasons.

He was an out-and-proud racist.

He was an ardent Socialist who dressed like a plantation owner, kept servants, and was called from his morning surf frolics, Charmian recalls, by a “tempting breakfast tray” delivered by “a white-suited Filipino.”

As a father, London was absent or worse. He once asked his daughter, “What have you done for me in all the days of your life?” She was 13.

The least of London’s flaws is that he invented a manly flex-and-preen surfing archetype who would readily and happily conflate wave-riding with all manner of seriously dangerous activities—war, bull-fighting, boxing—and we’ve been stuck with this blowhard in one form or another (Buzzy Trent, Laird Hamilton, Billy Kemper) ever since.

Which, sidebar, is part of the reason I’ve always been a huge fan of Brock Little, who once batted away my question asking if big-wave surfing was symbolic or filled with any greater significance by saying “Nah, nothing like that. It’s just the funnest thing ever.”

But credit Jack London for knowing a good thing when he saw it the moment he stepped off his boat in Hawaii all those years ago, and for jumping right in to try surfing himself, and for turning his huge megaphone toward the Mainland and beyond—London’s literary fame in 1907 was at its peak—and spreading the word.

I cringe each time I read about the “bull-mouth monsters” London rode (see below), and that surfers are a “kingly species” who have “mastered matter and lorded it over creation.”

But I recognize and respect the stoke.

Anyway, here is the full text of London’s A Royal Sport, which you’ve likely already read, in which case try Charmian’s more nuanced excerpt from her book Our Hawaii, which I really enjoyed.

At one point, Jack mansplains the shit out of how waves break while Charmian no doubt smiles sweetly and says “Yes, dear” at regular intervals.

But damn, he’s got the science exactly right.

Jack London is nothing if not confounding.

PS: Top Ten Wave Descriptions as Created Jack and Charmian in Reverse Order of Purpleness
10 – big smokers
9 – big smoky ones
8 – deep-water smokers
7 – great smoking comers
6 – those mighty monsters
5 – bull-mouthed monsters
4 – Pharaoh’s horses
3 – endless charge of white cavalry
2 – white battalions of the infinite army of the sea
1 – oncoming legions of rearing, trampling, weighing sea cavalry

(This beautifully muscled piece of writing is the sorta thing y’get every Sunday when you subscribe to Warshaw’s Encyclopedia of Surfing. Three bucks a month. An insane return for such a pitifully small sum.)

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alana_blanchards_heaving_bosom

have sex

Chief Hot stuff

You’ve probly got a few lottery wins in there.

Waterproof Polo

I feel your pain.. https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

Waterproof Polo

Anal fistula – either a cannibal corpse song title or porno. Either way, nasty, nasty business.

channelbottom

I consciously blanked my mind as they screamed phone numbers from across the parking lot.

Gino

11. Big Black Ones

Yesterday's hero
Astrophysicien

Interesting article, thanks!

Phat-wan kerr

Read “comers” as ” corners” and for minute I thought I had misjudged turpell.

James Bickerton

France has the Gauche Caviar , surely a country as great as the US , except possibly during McCarthy’s Inquisition , must have a group of Champagne Socialists ? Capitalist in the wallet and Socialist in the Soul …

Nick Carroll

Fuck, that was really funny, you cheap shot cunt.

channelbottom

Aw I missed it, whadee say?

NEGATRON

He said nothing. Just a cheap shot at a family member.
Would still be up if he attached his name to it.

Yeah_na

Fuck we’ve been through this already over the years..You do a bang up job but no shame here mate, I’d post under my own name, but you’d have a much stronger case if you just led by example and dropped Negs and just ran with who you are..a regular dude who loves this shit or are you just as attached as the rest of us to your upvotes and replies?

NEGATRON

You can just change your avatar name on your profile and keep all your precious upvotes and glorious replies.
You know my views on this, you wanna drag families into it and get personal you better be prepared to front, especially when the other is posting under his real name.
We are all Gentlemen after all.
A quick google reveals my real name and that’s enough for me. Also I keep my insults on the table.

Yeah_na

Mate, once again, a lot of respect for what you do and do well. But to be honest upvotes are not why I engage here and a fair few of the other commentators on here are on their at least second avatar for whatever reason, so maybe a good chance they dont either..
Nick and Tom paraded themselves all over Australian media on that topic and I’m sure paid very handsomely for it.
Like everybody who makes their private family struggles public for monetrary gain/publicity is fair game.
I suppose at what point do you stop being the awesome moderator you have been and start blindly sheltering these people just because they may be your hero or a name that may get their panties in a knot?

Warmest Regards,

Dave.

NEGATRON

I value people that input decent commentary into the site. I don’t care about their credentials or history at all. That’s the beauty of this space, its 100% here and now.
And congratulations Dave that’s the most youve said in months.

Yeah_na

As Bicko would say ” le sentiment est une chatte mutuelle”

Billy Hunt

Yeah … it was pretty fucking funny

Snowbored

Politics and judgements aside, his collection of short stories are adventure writing at its finest. Full of interesting and developed characters, dramatic settings, and verbose narrative. He was definitely not an angel, but geniuses never are.

Gwen Walz’s Eyes

Plan on meeting Billy Kemper soon?

Pauly Matt War-Shore

Rectal fistulas? Poor blighter.

Jimmy the Saint

Who wasn’t a racist back then? Bit unfair to judge him by modern standards, but if we are to do so, his excellence as a writer still stands up to scrutiny!

Chief Hot stuff

Is there a comment section on
EOS?

samwaters

There used to be—had some pretty interesting comments from some pretty knowledgeable guys. ——Not that you don’t get that here–wink, wink…..

Chief Hot stuff

If only there were more of us

Yeah_na

Hahaha fuckn turn it up cunt!

Chief Hot stuff
channelbottom

Matt, are you going to include Agatha Christie into your archive of ‘famous people who once surfed on holiday’?

ricmatic

Remember that sketch where Peter Cook and Dudley more ripped out the last pages of Agatha Christie books?
Yeah me too.
Am I channeling Chris Farley?

channelbottom

I don’t remember that, but it’s a good’un.

I only listened to a couple of their records.

Nick Carroll

they missed “mighty Pacific rollers”

samwaters

Hey, it was 1907–big smokers–endless charge of white cavalry— it could have been worse………

Lemon Next to the Pie

I’m not sure ‘great smoky comers’ is acceptable. Unless it was ‘great smoky combers’?

Yeah_na

If ya pistol ain’t smokin’ then ya didn’t fire it properly..

channelbottom

Labels 1-5 sound like a some wobbling trailer-trash skanks on a night out.

ricmatic

two not shark stories in a row. So many new words. I’m exhausted.

Chief Hot stuff

Racist socialists.
What’s old is new again

ricmatic

I’m married to a Russian, so I’m all clear.

Chief Hot stuff

That’s a bold choice comrade.
Any resemblance to Melania?

ricmatic

Quite a bit actually. Hot eastern euros chicks all look alike.

Chief Hot stuff

Praise Allah!

Wiggolly's Paddling Style

Why don’t Euros take their socks off in pornos? It trips me out. I usually have to turn it off and look for something better.

Otto

Bunions on their metres?

Brutus

Toe Jam!

Lemon Next to the Pie

My wife caught me watching porn the other day. She came into the room and I flicked on a surfing vid, but not quick enough. She said;
“Put it back on the porn, you already know how to surf”.

Yeah_na

Haha whatta boss !

James Bickerton

They probably don’t want to get cold feet ?

Phat-wan kerr

Interesting. I have never noticed the socks but to be fair I haven’t really been looking at their feet.

Waterproof Polo

Hahaha It’s the mankie euro foot diseases they be hiding! That or they have extra toes from Chernobyl fallout

James Bickerton

Funnily enough when the socialist systems failed across Eastern Europe , these countries became breeding grounds for Mega Rich Oligarchs and Poor Neo-Fascists ….

Chief Hot stuff

Not to mention access to quarter pounders woppas and finger licking good chicken, which were enjoyed by all.
Also standard of living for the majority increased. As did peoples freedom, opportunity, and ability to worship who they chose,So there’s that.
I’m gonna go with
Fuk Socialism.

James Bickerton

Take away Utopia ? Give us a McBex with cheese please .

Chief Hot stuff

I was eating one when I typed that.
Monday night treat!


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