Let's assume Kelly Slater is unavailable.
Very famous television producer Darren Starr (Sex and the City, Beverly Hills 90201, Melrose Place) has a new project currently airing that may require you. The show is called Younger and mainly set in New York City, chronicling the personal and professional life of Liza Miller, a divorced 40-year-old woman with a teenage daughter and a failed marriage that collapsed due to her former husband’s gambling addiction. After 26-year-old tattoo artist Josh mistakenly thinks that he and Liza are about the same age, she concocts a plan to pass herself off as a 20-something to re-enter the ageist industry of publishing, later becoming the assistant of Empirical Press marketing head Diana Trout and befriending Kelsey Peters, a co-worker.
Obviously very fabulous and coming up on its seventh season, which is where you come in. Episode 703 is desperately seeking “(40) Male, legendary pro surfer, he has become his own brand with a sustainable clothing line, reality television show, as well as a sizable and meaningful charitable foundation. With dreamy eyes, handsome face and chiseled physique adults swoon at the sight of him and children aspire to be him. At a pitch meeting for a book he wants to write he locks eyes with Liz and the chemistry is palpable.”
Now, of course Starr and team are desperately seeking Kelly Slater as, minus the sizable and meaningful charitable foundation, he ticks all the boxes but we must assume he is too busy to play himself (the generous version) on television.
Who knows Kelly Slater better than us though?
Exactly right.
You’re 40, or could play 40, and male, aren’t you? Have enough insight into the mind of the greatest professional surfer of all time and are considered dreamy, handsome, chiseled or at least could be.
No?
KVF?
Wiggs?
Lemoore Goat Rodeo, Hippy, SSD, Bex, VONR, Otto, Channel?
Come on. One of you has this.
Publishing?
Someone wants to falsify their age to get into publishing?
Why doesn’t she just dig a grave and jump in it?
Publishing is DOA.
It is deceased, It is no more.
Publishing has snuffed it.
Yeah that show is gonna last.
im late to the party – just got haircut today or what left of it – think im in based on that alone
Another zonk article
chaz could pass for 40…with a little bronzer and concealer.
And you’re 67.
@kevindillon if only he had the calves for it
I appreciate the nod Charles, but I’m only working with Danny DeVito these days. We’ve got a double act where I’m perfect for the role of his shorter, rounder, less handsome younger brother.
Why not just call the character Ke11y?
Imagine the boost in his IG followers with a weekly TV show?
Last time, there was no social media and he still porked that chick that got passed around a bunch later.
I heard they cast the part last week and gave the job to Kai Lenny, with Poopies as his understudy…
I’m 40(+) and live in NY.
Before I cut my hair (and expose my real face) someone tell Darren I’m available.
If you have hair to cut JH …. than you be 40 ! I however am 55 balding , it was dark like Kelly’s and even though my mums a McDowell my French mates all said I was Egyptian , which is near Syria , and once rode a CI Slater model , in 94 , twas a piece of shit , The busted Wayne Roach was worth 10 of em , have dated beautiful girls in my youth who left me for more money ( basically anyone who had a few bucks , it wasn’t hard ) and I could go switch foot and get that trailing arm whirling like a windmill …. like Byron or Shelley I am screaming in the bath … Jimmy Slade is Dead ! Long live Jimmy B . Surfer Thespian Wanker to young to die … to old to play (with myself ) the GOAT .
I’m actually the other side of 45 but what I lack in most skills I made up for in hair that has stayed and hasn’t quite disappeared. I also once dated a girl from Fresno…which is near Leemore….so maybe that’s my in?
Dated a girl from Fresno?!
Shit howdy, that basically means you can do your own stunts.
Of course!
55, long hair, weird beard, tall, tanned, insouciant. That’s about all I can offer.
Similar to scene from Life of Brian …..
Casting Director …. How much do you know about Kelly Slater ?
DH ….. A LOT … I even dated a girl from …. Fresno
Casting director …. Right ! You’re in .
The McDowells had one hot daughter!
I’ve never heard of the show and have to look it up… just a sec… oh, Hilary Duff is in it? I’ll do it! Chas, make the call for me (I’m too lazy).
P.S. I don’t know whether to feel flattered to be listed first, like we’ve met before and you think I pass as hot (in a non-Midwest way of course), or insulted that you think I look older than I am.
From what I’ve seen, I believe in your ability to carry the role.
Thnx! Now, I hope they’re ready for some improvising…
The meeting ends and Liza approaches Kai.
Liza: those we some great ideas! Say, maybe we could grab some lunch later to talk more about the book?
Kai: I’m glad you’re interested. I think it’s something that people would really love… (Off script) say, do you have any Chinese in you?
Liza: no… what?
Kai: oh, too bad…
Liza and Kai sneak a kiss.
Lisa: wow…
Kai: mmmm… Like I imagine completing a book would feel…
Imagine being able to employ your caustic wit upon the world of television based on experience!
Many people may think there’s no better powers than superpowers, and they might be right, if they weren’t so fucking wrong. They say some roles were meant for one actor, and they’d be right, if they weren’t so fucking wrong. You see, who needs a goddamn pussy ass actor when you got the real deal, the real deal of the motherfucking century actually. A let me tell you somethin’, real ain’t cheap. You know why?
Cause real ain’t fucking cheap. Superpowers?! Superman wore his goddamn underwear on the outside of his pants. Seriously, what the fuck was the matter with him. I’m Kenny Powers, my dick is too big to fit in any goddamn pair of underwear!! That’s why I’m better than everyone!!!
https://youtu.be/Rly1ZZ076G8
Totally zonk
A dude that wears his underwear on the outside, and comes from a cave of crystal sounds familiar. Does this guy hang out by the Washington St. offramp?