Maybe she would let him ride her surfboard
sometime. He is super sure that she is The One.
When we last saw Surfline Man, his girlfriend had left
him, which was sad.
(Read
here.)
But Surfline Man bought a new midlength and set big goals for
his cutback. Sure, he misses his girlfriend, I mean, she was pretty
great!
But his cutback is feeling so good lately.
Even better, Surfline Man spotted a cute girl in the Swamis
parking lot. Maybe she would let him ride her surfboard sometime.
When he saw her, he felt something and he’s pretty sure it wasn’t
the burrito he had for breakfast. He is super sure that she is The
One.
Now, if he could just meet her.
In search of new horizons — and hopefully, the cute girl at
Swamis — Surfline Man recently moved to Cardiff. So tired of the
whole Trestles scene, brah. Fucking circus, gotta get out of
there.
Also, his ex-girlfriend’s parents owned the house, so that was a
problem.
Set on his new course, Surfline Man packed up his quiver, every
last one, including the yellowed, super thin shortboard that he
hasn’t ridden since high school. It turns out Surfline Man is the
sentimental sort, at least when it comes to surfboards.
Finally after several trips, he’s not about to admit how many,
he moved out of his ex-girlfriend’s house into fresh digs of his
own. Sure, he doesn’t have any furniture — his ex owned all the
furniture, too — but at least there’s plenty of room for his
boards.
A whole garage!
A man could go far with a whole garage.
Right now, Surfline Man should be buying a bed at West Elm or
something, but he’s not. Surfline Man needs an ebike so bad. He
could get to Swamis so fast! No messing around with parking, just
boom! Right there. He is on the internet, furiously searching.
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a man with a garage
must fill it, ideally with many gadgets of mixed utility.
Eventually his shiny, new ebike arrived on his doorstep. It’s a
Rad Power Bike, they’re the best, you know, he said to one of his
new friends in the Swamis parking lot. Kelly Slater has one just
like it at Surf Ranch!
Each day, Surfline Man zips up to the Pannikin on his rad new
bicycle. I mean, it has rad in the name! How could a boy
resist?
By now, he had become a regular at the Encinitas landmark, whose
ancient, creaking Victorian architecture spoke to something deep in
his soul. He wasn’t quite sure what, but it spoke to him,
totally.
It’s such a cool scene, you should come down and hang! He told
all his old friends back in San Clemente. It’s the fucking
best!
There he sits, sipping his Chai Latte on the lawn out front,
scouring the scene for cute girls, and infinite scrolling through
Instagram.
By this point he had also managed to acquire a bed and some
other assorted furnishings, nothing that matched, because really,
he couldn’t be bothered with such things.
Life is too short, brah, a chair is a fucking chair.
What he hadn’t managed to do is find the cute girl from the
Swamis parking lot. Surfline Man was starting to wonder if she ever
existed at all.
Was she just a dream? He could not rule out this depressing
possibility.
There is only so much Rad Power Biking and Chai Latte drinking a
man can do. Even worse, his ex threw out his sourdough starter one
night in a fit of, well, something. He can’t even make bread any
more. All that time practicing his kneading, it’s all gone to
waste.
To make matters worse, the surf proved relentlessly,
impressively flat. All the colors and graphs and pictures couldn’t
hide the terrible reality. There were, in fact, no waves. And no
waves coming any time soon.
He had a new midlength to ride, a cutback to improve, and a cute
girl from the Swamis parking lot to find.
The universe was totally not cooperating! Like at all.
There is only so much Rad Power Biking and Chai Latte drinking a
man can do. Even worse, his ex threw out his sourdough starter one
night in a fit of, well, something. He can’t even make bread any
more. All that time practicing his kneading, it’s all gone to
waste.
Desperate, Surfline Man decided to try running on the beach.
Going to the beach to run would be almost like going to the beach
to surf, he reasoned.
But running made him uncomfortable. His knees started to hurt.
Sweat appeared in places he preferred not to think about. Really,
running was very disappointing. He did not think he could do it for
even one more day.
And he did not see the cute girl from Swamis.
This was honestly, a bit of a relief, because Surfline Man did
not feel at all at his best, while running. Maybe it was possible
to look suave as fuck huffing and panting and sweating through a
beach run. But not for him, he felt quite certain.
Then one day, he walked down to Seaside Market to buy a sandwich
and maybe some other things. They sell surf wax there!
This makes him feel more things, mostly sad things, as he
remembers how all the charts and all the graphs show such an
enduring lack of surf.
In a desultory way, he wandered the aisles. Maybe he should cook
something tonight. Fuck it, he’ll just order pizza. Pizza
understands.
Then he saw her. The cute girl from Swamis! Right there in the
Seaside Market!
Fresh-faced and glowing, she stood at the deli counter and
waited for her kale salad. She wore some kind of athletic thing,
like lululemon or something. Surfline Man can never keep these
things straight.
But she looked even cuter right there, up close, in the Seaside
Market, than she had in the parking lot at Swamis.
He tried his best not to stare.
Really, he did.
I mean, he’s not like some kind of creep or whatever. But
Surfline Man is only a man.
So he fake-casual browsed the sushi rolls, while totally staring
at the cute girl and desperately summoning up a friendly, not at
all weird way to approach her.
His brain froze. Why is life so impossible, sometimes?
I think I saw you at Swamis a while back, he says. You have a
sweet Ryan Lovelace board, right?
She looks surprised. And then she pauses, as though deciding
whether to answer. The cute girl from the Swamis parking lot does
not typically talk to random men in the grocery store.
She looks at Surfline Man, assessing.
With his floppy blonde hair and day-old scruff, he is earnest
and awkward, like a golden retriever who bounds around the house,
knocking shit off the table, just wagging his tail.
This vibe totally saves him, though he doesn’t know it. Whatever
else he may be, Surfline Man is not creepy.
Yeah, I mean, I think that was me, probably, she says. I haven’t
like been surfing much lately, though. It’s so flat.
It is! he answers eagerly. I think I’m like starting to lose my
mind, in fact. I tried running but it kinda sucked. I don’t really
know what to do now.
She looks at him again. He really does seem kind of sweet.
Do you ever do yoga? she asks.
I’m new to town, so I haven’t really figured out where to go
yet, he says, hoping she doesn’t notice he’s totally lying. His ex
used to try to get him to do yoga.
There’s a cool Bikram studio in Encinitas, she says. I usually
go early in the morning. It’s just such a great way to start my
day!
Maybe I’ll see you there sometime, he says, trying to be casual
and totally not succeeding.
What’s your name? I’m Casey.
Trent. It’s super cool to meet you, he says.
Cool, yeah, she says, smiling.
Casey, the cute girl from the Swamis parking lot, picks up her
kale salad, long since ready, and waves.
He watches her walk away, he can’t help himself. Of course, she
totally knows he’s watching.
Surfline Man pays for his sushi rolls. He doesn’t even like
sushi, but whatever, he met the cute girl from the Swamis parking
lot! He buys a block of surf wax, just for luck, you know.
Then he saunters into the warm, golden California light, trying
his best to play it cool, but totally not succeeding. He met her!
He can’t even believe it.
He figures he’d better buy some yoga clothes that don’t look too
bad, and Surfline Man needs to find the Bikram studio in Encinitas.
For a man who tracks swells on many-colored graphs and such, this
all seems like a pretty straightforward thing.
Surfline Man feels certain the internet can solve all his
problems.
He just hopes yoga doesn’t make him too sweaty.
He has a cute girl to impress!