Listen: Big-wave storyteller Mark Mathews
on the intellectual dark web, kicking opiates and the extravagance
of evil, “There’s darkness in you and if you don’t manage your life
and frame it with meaning, you can become bitter… very fast.”
By Derek Rielly
Crippled innumerable times, told he'd never walk
again, now a keynote speaker of considerable note…
Today’s guest on Dirty Water, Mark Mathews, presents,
irresistibly, as a keynote speaker of considerable fame and even a
little fortune who came from the bruising circuit of Maroubra,
Sydney, via the cutthroat athleticism of professional
big-wave surfing.
He is a ruminative man, as you’ll soon hear.
Give him one little opening for the point he wants to make and
down he comes upon you, in under your guard, flashing and
relentless as a rapier.
Mathews has been crippled and winged innumerable times,
Told he’ll never surf again,
Never walk again.
A cracked plate that can never be warmed on the stove nor
brought out for company. Good only to hold crackers late at night
or to go into the fridge under the leftovers.
But where a lesser man might sink into the velvet lazy chair of
opiates and pity, descending, eventually, into a hell of
despondency, he is optimism radiant and roaring.
Faith vindicated.
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Vice-ridden 15-foot Great White Shark
knocks man out of kayak in Northern California, attempts to “smoke
it like a cigar!”
By Chas Smith
"I’ve had a good life. I hope it doesn’t hurt too
much."
The shark apocalypse entered a dangerous new
phase, over the weekend, one that social scientists and
normal scientists did not see coming as it appears Northern
California’s “man-eating” Great Whites have discovered heretofore
unknown “pleasures of the flesh.”
David Alexander, superintendent of a local school district, was
out fishing in his kayak in Shelter Cove, enjoying a bright day. As
he rounded the lighthouse he heard a “thud” which lead directly to
a truly disturbing moment.
“It felt like the front of my boat was lifting up.” Alexander told a
local blog. “I heard a sound sort of sandpaperish, a
grinding sound. For a second I thought I was being lifted up onto a
wash rock. I saw grey and then I said, ‘That’s not a rock. That’s a
shark!”
The Great White was estimated to be fifteen-feet long.
“He had the front of my kayak literally in his mouth,” Alexander
continued. “It was like he was smoking it like a cigar. It was
surreal.”
The impact rolled the superintendent into the water and he was
certain of his demise, thinking, “I’ve had a good life. I hope it
doesn’t hurt too much.”
Well, the Great White didn’t attack, finished smoking the kayak
then swam off likely in search of brandy, maybe a nice satin robe,
a fine dame in pearls, Frank Sinatra’s Someone to Watch Over Me on
vinyl.
We each know that moderation is key for all these things but I
don’t imagine sharks have much self-control and worry that they
will traipse into a vice-ridden life with much debauchery, many
broken hearts, etc.
Troublesome.
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"I'm looking for professional surfing."
World Surf League’s grand December re-start
plans thrown into turmoil as Covid-19 cases spike 10-fold in
Hawaii!
By Chas Smith
Worrying.
But oh my goodness things were going along so
well for our World Surf League, whom we have not heard from since a
wildly successful Rumble at the Ranch. Santa Monica had rolled out
the restart plan weeks earlier that included an exciting mid-season
something and also something else about the Qualifying Series.
And the whole shootin’ match was set to get underway this
December on The Gathering Place.
Well, somehow Hawaii has bungled its Coronavirus response and
now the state that once had the least infections is near the top,
spiking 10-fold in the last few months.
Surfer and congresswoman Tulsi Gabbard blamed Governor David Ige
for the current mess.
“Back when our cases were very low, in the single digits, our
leaders were talking about how we can’t be complacent and had to
prepare to do all we can to prevent a second wave from occurring
and prepare for it if it comes. That would have been the moment to
execute on all this. If [Ige] had done his job back when our
numbers were low, we wouldn’t be in this position.”
Zing.
New stay at home orders have been issued throughout Oahu as well
as well as a cap on how many people can hang out together at one
time. Currently the number is five which would still be OK for the
World Surf League as there are only four employees left (CEO Erik
Logan, podcast impresario Dave Prodan, photographer/ELo hypewoman
Jessi-Miley Cyrus and somebody else) but it is all too close for
comfort.
Along with keeping people away from people, many tests are being
flown to the island etc. but will the situation turn around within
the next few months? The head of Hawaii’s health department has
been fired for misleading residents about the state of preparedness
so… doubtful.
Still, Kelly Slater’s girlfriend is Chinese which is a great
win, overall.
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Ross Williams, pre-op.
Breaking: John John Florence coach Ross
Williams injured in bicycle crash; suffers “bizarre” injury! “2020
can suck it.”
By Derek Rielly
"Like a butchered dog!"
If you saw Ross Williams waiting for a bus you’d never
guess he used to be one of the best surfers in the
world.
Almost fifty, a lazy hairline that holds a haircut like a
dust-mop, a chubby figure that changes weight according to his
mood.But put him
behind a
microphone, at the helm of a prized
athlete or in the water and he glows.
Lately, father-of-three Ross has been riding a bicycle around
the North Shore, prepping an injured knee for the coming
winter. Or he was until he clipped his riding partner’s wheel
at forty clicks an hour, hit the bitumen and
got…degloved.
The gruesome injury, which is called a Morel-Lavallée lesion, is
an “abrupt separation of skin and subcutaneous tissues from
underlying fascia.”
Skin ripped off limb to reveal underlying mechanics, like the
little leg of a butchered dog.
“About to have surgery to resolve this issue. Honestly, I feel
lucky. Could always be worse. I’ll be back on the program in a
couple weeks!!”
Hospital visits aren’t a novelty for thrillseeker Williams.
Five years ago at ten-to-twelve-foot Haliewa, the one-time
Momentum star, “dove head first after a wave into the
‘toilet bowl’ straight into the reef. I cracked my head open and
nearly ripped a piece of my nose off.”
Eleven staples and plastic surgery.
The roll call of well-wishers on Ross’s Instagram account, then,
included Bede Durbidge, who had just been crippled with a broken
pelvis, (“Wow! Not the way you want to finish the year”), the
quadriplegic Jesse Billauer (“Sending you positive healing vibes.
I’m glad you’re ok. Just stay positive and think about that sick
barrel you got at Backdoor the other day”) and world champion
Carissa Moore (“Oh man!!!!!! Definitely not #warmingitup”)
Today’s comments, although lacking a similar starpower, were
anchored by Nathan Florence’s succinct, “Hahahaha.”
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Big Joe, far right, with no-daddy boys.
Dope-running surfer gets clean, turns life
coach to fatherless boys: “When they’re in their pain, in their
grief, and they’re sharing, they get to that point of ‘we’re all in
this together, what do we have to do to get out of this?’”
By Chris Mauro
Help lil brothers without dads…
Joe Sigurdson isn’t afraid to talk about his darkest
days.
“I was 28 years old living a double-life,” he says. “I was
dealing dope in the parking lot while my kids were building
sandcastles on the beach. I was running poundage up and down
between San Diego and LA. I was pretty big, a substantial guy, so I
was doing ‘collections’ for a coke dealer too… All the while I was
married with a real job.”
Thirty years after turning his life around, Sigurdson is still
an imposing figure.
But, his biggest threat these days are his bear hugs.
Joe turned Disney dad shortly after he got sober in the early
nineties.
Pretty soon, other kids from his son’s Little League team were
at his house all day after practices and games.
“They’d raid our fridge. We’d play ball in the yard. I’d play
quarterback for both sides. I’d pitch. I’d take ‘em surfing… It was
fun, but they wouldn’t want to go home.”
Eventually, he noticed a pattern.
“One by one, their moms started calling, asking if I could talk
to their sons about problems they were having. That’s when I
realized none of them had dads.”
When those calls kept coming his wheels started turning.
“I’d learned so much at these self-improvement outings like the
Mankind Project. I was forty then going, ‘Man, this stuff is great.
I could have used this when I was 14.’”
Joe and his co-founders are more than twenty years into their
mission now, having transformed the lives of thousands of at-risk
boys living in marginalized communities by providing them love and
support.
“It’s not rocket science,” says Joe, when talking about why they
succeed. “We all do better when we check in with loved ones and
hold each other accountable.”
It’s worth noting, his mentors abide by one very strict
rule.
“We never tell kids what to do,” says Joe. “Our job is to listen
and understand the issues they’re facing. And if there’s a struggle
we explore the options and shed light on what’s likely to happen if
they stay on the current path. Mentors share their own experiences,
mistakes, and lessons learned. But the choice is all theirs. All we
do is take an inventory of how those decisions play out. And it
works.”
Dana Wright, a former principal at Spring Valley Academy, swears
by their success, and she’s not alone.
“If I had a chance to talk to every middle school administrator
in the country about what they could do to make a difference it
would be Boys to Men,” she says.
And what’s fascinating about Boys to Men Mentoring, is
the San Diego surfing community powers their operation.
Surfers have rallied behind the cause, helping Joe and his team
come up with creative ways to raise the funds needed to facilitate
new programs, find mentors, and expand into new schools.
The 100 Wave Challenge, an annual Jog-a-Thon style event in the
waves, is their biggest hit.
The 10th annual 100 Wave Challenge raised $430,000 last year,
enough to provide a year’s worth of mentorship services to nearly
1000 kids.
Sadly, with the world going sideways in 2020 the need for Boys
to Men is greater than ever. Keeping them engaged and connected is
crucial to their health and safety.
Yet early this summer, Sigurdson warned his supporters that this
year’s 100 Wave Challenge may not happen, and by some miracle it
did, it certainly couldn’t be on the usual scale, with hundreds
showing up in Mission Beach.
“That didn’t sit well with anyone,” says Joe.
His fellow surfers floated an alternative: let’s
expand.
After all, they argued, Boys to Men’s impact is global now.
Sure, San Diego is where it all started, but they provide
guidance to independent chapters in seventeen different states and
nine different countries at HQ.
Why not reflect that?
After several Zoom calls, Joe and his team obliged, adding a new
twist.
This year it’s “Your 100 Wave Challenge.”
You pick the crew, the beach, and the time, between now and
November 22nd, and make it happen.
“Two months ago, we were feeling pretty hopeless,” says
Sigurdson. “Thanks to our surfers, I’m starting to believe this may
end up being our biggest year yet. Our big signup push doesn’t
typically start until after Labor Day, but word is already
spreading through surf clubs and surf shops and social media. And
our surfers are getting calls from people asking how they can
help.”
The answer is simple: Grab some friends, get ‘em together, and
give these kids your love.
