Watch: Brazen women tests positive for Covid-19 in Spain then goes surfing; arrested on beach for “serious disobedience and crimes against public health!”

Super shredder!

There’s brazen and then there’s brazen. Like, brazen would be paddling out straight to the peak around other locals waiting their turn, swinging on the first wave and snaking whoever was in position. Brazen is testing positive for Covid-19 then going surfing in a full jacket, skimpy bottom combination in northern Spain on a very sunny day weekend day.

But Basque Country is where we lay our scene, where men in full hazmat suits scampered to and fro trying to catch a brazen woman who had not followed protocols, as it were.

The offender was a local lifeguard at La Concha beach, Spanish media reports, and had earlier tested positive for the unfortunate Coronavirus and was supposed to quarantine per the norm. Instead, she decided to quarantine in the big blue Atlantic and surf the sorrow away.

The police were tipped off by the woman’s lifeguard colleagues who knew she was attempting to super shred and they first tried to get her to come in by warning her via boat. When she refused, hazmat suits were donned and they waited for her on the beach where she tried to flee.

In the end, she was arrested and shackled. Busted for “serious disobedience and crimes against public health.”

Serious disobedience sounds like something my young daughter does when I expressly tell her not to watch any more tik-tok, leave the room, come back in five-minutes later and she’s watching tik-tok.

Serious disobedience met with a stern rebuke plus no more phone for the day and a lecture on how the Chinese government is using the social media app to kill brain cells.

What do you imagine the brazen woman’s punishment was?

No more phone for the week?

Something worse?

More as the story develops.

Coastalwatch vision of the surfer being dragged to shore. | Photo: Coastalwatch

Graphic Video: Surfer killed by suspected Great White at Queensland’s SuperBank; third surfer to die by shark attack in three months.

A witness described the injury as from “the groin area down to just below his knee… it was pretty much all taken. It was pretty much all hanging there by not much.”

In a now familiar piece of theatre that’s been playing out along a few hundred clicks of Australia’s east coast, a surfer has been killed by a suspected Great White shark, the third fatality by Great White in three months. 

The man was found face down in the water by another surfer just before sunset at Greenmount Beach, the final jigsaw piece in the SuperBank puzzle. 

The man was brought to shore, lifeguards staunched the wound, hit the CPR buttons. The man, who was forty-six, died at the scene. 

The dead man’s Morning of the Earth, three-stringer twin.

It’s the first fatal attack on the Gold Coast since a 1958 hit in Surfers Paradise and the first fatal attack, ever, since shark nets were introduced to the Gold Coast almost sixty years ago.

One man who helped drag the man to the beach said he was “pretty much gone” by the time they got him to a stretcher.

The witness described the injury as from “the groin area down to just below his knee… it was pretty much all taken. It was pretty much all hanging there by not much.”

Laird Hamilton (pictured) making money, getting loaded. | Photo: Laird Superfoods

Magic pudding award: Laird Hamilton’s “Laird Superfood” company aims to raise $40 million via IPO despite $8.5 million loss…

Fairy dust or essential nutritional addendums? It don't matter! Invest!

Laird Hamilton is the supersonic mouthpiece, and part-owner, 13.5 percent if y’wondering, of Oregon-based company Laird Superfood, the company he created in 2015.

It sells plant-based coffee creamers, including one made from an ocean algae called Aquamin, which will toughen up your bones, “premium” instant coffee, freeze-dried coconut water and assorted other treats that line up under the umbrella of  “superfoods”.

Before you tuck your napkin into your collar, it might be prudent to point out, here, that frizzling your body with superfoods don’t automatically turn you into Laird Hamilton.

Or toughen up your bones,

“Food is more than the sum of its parts,” writes Peter Lipson in Forbes. “Some of the vitamins present in foods are necessary in small amounts to maintain health, a fact that has over the years led us to think that there are more magic substances in food.  This has not been borne out by science.  None of the myriad ‘antioxidants’ and other magical substances discovered in foods has ever been found to provide some sort of revolutionary health benefit.”

It don’t hurt sales.

Laird Superfoods did thirteen-million dollars last year although the company recorded a net loss of $8.5 mill.

Selling the gear too cheap? Not according to the IPO’s prospectus.

“Strong gross margins provide Laird Superfood with a sustainable competitive advantage…”

Go figure, as they say in the trades.

The forty mill Laird Superfood is hunting in this public offering ain’t such a stretch for the fifty-six-year-old who was born in the UCSF’s Medical Center’s bathysphere, mammy and bebe enjoying zero gravity for the birth.

It raised ten mill from Danone Manifesto Ventures in April and WeWork founder Adam Neumann, a surfer bro of Laird, was part of a thirty-two mill round of funding in 2019 

Of course, all foods live or die by taste.

And BeachGrit‘s Jen See was at the vanguard of Laird Superfood in 2018.

When I ate the Superfood I did not immediately acquire the ability to fly or anything useful like that. Presumably it added calcium to my bones, but I felt nothing. Not even a tingle. This was slightly disappointing.

I mixed the Hydrate with bottled water in a 12-ounce container as the instructions demanded. Once mixed, it has a milky, white color. The flavor is nothing to write home about. Not terrible! Just not super exciting.

It needed something. I rummaged around the kitchen and found vodka of questionable vintage. I added the vodka to the Hydrate. Mmm, vodka. I added more. Even better. Then I was out of coconut water Superfood. More Vodka. What were we talking about again, I don’t know. Vodka, good. Next time, I skip straight to vodka. More vodka.

I approached the Instafuel with trepidation. Instant coffee. I once carried a French Press in my camera bag on a bike-packing trip in Oregon. This was a stupid decision, because packing out wet coffee grounds is stupid. But it does give you an idea of my feelings about instant coffee.

I again entered the kitchen to boil the required boiled water, which just about exhausts my kitchen repertoire. I added boiling water to the instant coffee and Superfood mixture. It dissolved! Magic! A thin layer tan bubbles, resembling crema, appeared on the surface. I know this game. I see you, Instafuel! I see you trying to fool me into thinking you are actually good coffee! You can’t fool me.

If you like your coffee very sweet and you enjoy coconut-flavored things, Laird Superfood Instafuel is your dream morning libation. It is easy to make! And almost instant! But so is Starbucks Via, which more closely resembles coffee.

Browse the Laird Superfood range here.

Ships worldwide.

Another gender reveal party on Australia's Gold Coast obvs.
Another gender reveal party on Australia's Gold Coast obvs.

It’s a Boy: Gender reveal party responsible for burning “the surf industry’s historical home” of California entirely to the ground!

Bad idea.

Ooooooee it has been hot outside for those lucky enough to call the Golden State home. Record temperatures from sunny San Diego all the way up to foggy San Francisco. Or maybe San Francisco is freezing cold like it is every winter (read: summer) but, in any case, scorching.

My Cardiff-by-the-Sea sky a smoky white with ash falling like manna, enhancing the oven-like feel.

The ash is a product of a massive fire blazing to the south and east.

Another monstrous fire is blazing to the north and east, near Yucaipa, and was sparked by a “gender reveal party” that used a “smoke-generating pyrotechnic device.”

One would have thought these sorts of gatherings would have been cancelled not due fire danger, of course, but because gender is now super uncool to claim.

Like, very lame.

But have you ever been to a gender reveal party? I have not and would not go if invited.

If California does burn entirely to the ground, Hawaii will have to fight it out with Florida for rights to use the title “the surf industry’s historical home.”

Do you have a horse in that race?

More as the story develops.

"Excuse me, Hawaii board of tourism? Yes, I was just looking for your surf museum."
"Excuse me, Hawaii board of tourism? Yes, I was just looking for your surf museum."

Hawaiian politician flies into justifiably jealous rage: “You look at California, at Australia, they’ve glorified surfing, they celebrate surfing, they monetize surfing!”

One word: Museum.

Today is Labor Day in these United States of America. A day to spend thinking about those who work so hard to make our lives so very good. The surfboard shaper and the surfboard glasser. The Sticky Bumps wax mixer and the Sticky Bumps wax wrapper (watch here). The surf shop trucker hat orderer and the surf shop trucker hat unpacker.

A day to ponder and thank all those who make our surf industry so mighty.

Well, Hawaii state Sen. Glenn Wakai, chairman of the Senate’s Economic Development and Tourism committee, is looking at that mighty surf industry and wondering why the other birthplace of surfing (after Peru) doesn’t have a bigger stake.

“You look at California, you look at Australia (where everyday is Labor Day), they’ve glorified surfing…” he told Honolulu’s Hawaii News Now “…They celebrate surfing and they monetize surfing.”

All true but state Sen. Wakai ain’t just a complainer. He has a plan of action to bring the luster back.

First up, a museum.

“There’s a surf museum in Oceanside, Calif. There’s a surf museum in Australia. We’re the center of surfing, we don’t even have a surf museum.”

Oceanside’s surf museum has led to an economic boom in the once-forgotten town, frustrating some but pouring money into the coffers of already rich out-of-towners. Australia’s surf museum is likely responsible for keeping the World Surf League Championship Tour in country for 1/3 of the year.

And so state Sen. Wakai has organized a committee to get moving on that project.

Second up, competitive surfing at the high school level.

“There’s six states in America that have competitive high school surfing, Hawaii’s not one of them. That is embarrassing.”

Sure is and, to be honest, surprising.

Lastly, state Sen. Wakai would like to streamline the permitting big surf contests.

“Let’s figure out who gets it, when they get it, and for how long they get their permits.”

Here, I can help. DO NOT GIVE ANY TO THE WORLD SURF LEAGUE! Punish co-Waterperson of the Year Dirk Ziff for building a fancy office in California’s Santa Monica instead of Honolulu. The WSL will, honestly, collapse in a year and you, state Sen. Wakai can take the thing over, change the name to Association of Surfing Superstars, celebrate and monetize.


Happy Labor Day.