Magic pudding award: Laird Hamilton’s “Laird Superfood” company aims to raise $40 million via IPO despite $8.5 million loss…

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Laird Hamilton is the supersonic mouthpiece, and part-owner, 13.5 percent if y’wondering, of Oregon-based company Laird Superfood, the company he created in 2015.

It sells plant-based coffee creamers, including one made from an ocean algae called Aquamin, which will toughen up your bones, “premium” instant coffee, freeze-dried coconut water and assorted other treats that line up under the umbrella of  “superfoods”.

Before you tuck your napkin into your collar, it might be prudent to point out, here, that frizzling your body with superfoods don’t automatically turn you into Laird Hamilton.

Or toughen up your bones,

“Food is more than the sum of its parts,” writes Peter Lipson in Forbes. “Some of the vitamins present in foods are necessary in small amounts to maintain health, a fact that has over the years led us to think that there are more magic substances in food.  This has not been borne out by science.  None of the myriad ‘antioxidants’ and other magical substances discovered in foods has ever been found to provide some sort of revolutionary health benefit.”

It don’t hurt sales.

Laird Superfoods did thirteen-million dollars last year although the company recorded a net loss of $8.5 mill.

Selling the gear too cheap? Not according to the IPO’s prospectus.

“Strong gross margins provide Laird Superfood with a sustainable competitive advantage…”

Go figure, as they say in the trades.

The forty mill Laird Superfood is hunting in this public offering ain’t such a stretch for the fifty-six-year-old who was born in the UCSF’s Medical Center’s bathysphere, mammy and bebe enjoying zero gravity for the birth.

It raised ten mill from Danone Manifesto Ventures in April and WeWork founder Adam Neumann, a surfer bro of Laird, was part of a thirty-two mill round of funding in 2019 

Of course, all foods live or die by taste.

And BeachGrit‘s Jen See was at the vanguard of Laird Superfood in 2018.

When I ate the Superfood I did not immediately acquire the ability to fly or anything useful like that. Presumably it added calcium to my bones, but I felt nothing. Not even a tingle. This was slightly disappointing.

I mixed the Hydrate with bottled water in a 12-ounce container as the instructions demanded. Once mixed, it has a milky, white color. The flavor is nothing to write home about. Not terrible! Just not super exciting.

It needed something. I rummaged around the kitchen and found vodka of questionable vintage. I added the vodka to the Hydrate. Mmm, vodka. I added more. Even better. Then I was out of coconut water Superfood. More Vodka. What were we talking about again, I don’t know. Vodka, good. Next time, I skip straight to vodka. More vodka.

I approached the Instafuel with trepidation. Instant coffee. I once carried a French Press in my camera bag on a bike-packing trip in Oregon. This was a stupid decision, because packing out wet coffee grounds is stupid. But it does give you an idea of my feelings about instant coffee.

I again entered the kitchen to boil the required boiled water, which just about exhausts my kitchen repertoire. I added boiling water to the instant coffee and Superfood mixture. It dissolved! Magic! A thin layer tan bubbles, resembling crema, appeared on the surface. I know this game. I see you, Instafuel! I see you trying to fool me into thinking you are actually good coffee! You can’t fool me.

If you like your coffee very sweet and you enjoy coconut-flavored things, Laird Superfood Instafuel is your dream morning libation. It is easy to make! And almost instant! But so is Starbucks Via, which more closely resembles coffee.

Browse the Laird Superfood range here.

Ships worldwide.