Live from David Lee Scale's pied-à-terre.
We all, each of us, have caught a fine wave and blown it so badly as to bring shame on multiple generations of our family. I’m not writing here about when we are learning to surf as children, or vulnerable adults, and don’t really know what a fine wave is nor am I writing about a wipeout where feet are never planted. I am writing about being in position to catch the wave of the day, paddling, taking off, getting stance so egregiously wrong, arms akimbo, bottom in air, heel over rail, etc. and straight blowing it.
Looking around after missing the best section hoping nobody saw.
Haunted for days afterward.
Oh it is the worst thing to suffer privately and David Lee Scales had such a moment days ago. Now, usually other surfers either don’t see or don’t care. We all, none of us, are professionals and so don’t garner collected looks but what if, by chance, someone happened to catch the worst wave you have ever surfed and it went viral on social media?
I’m not writing here about @kookoftheday or any sort of surf-specific viral. I’m writing about viral viral. Like, Joe Rogan plays it on his podcast, Facebook posts it as its homepage, late night comedians laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh.
How would you respond?
Stop surfing?
Host a media event at your local so that everyone can see how much you rip?
Join in on the fun making?
Much to ponder.
David Lee and I also discuss how crap the World Surf League is. A greatest hit of sorts.
Watch here!
LMAO!! +1,000
The two gayest, valley girl voices(?) In surf commentary(?)
I don’t follow the whole sponsorship thing closely, but Red Bull just dropped an edit with JJF riding a board with their logo on it. That could have something to do with Monster law suit.
Serenity comes when you trade expectations for acceptance ~ Buddha
I’ll respond later.
You have tattoos.
That is unacceptable as it means:
1. You are trying to be cool. There is no try in cool.
2. You want to look hip. You want to “fit in” with the in crowd. Bad idea. Don’t be afraid to be yourself.
3. You are unaware there’s a certain class of people who should have tattoos: Soldiers, bikers, Merchant Marines, ex-cons, Polynesians of 50% blood or more, New Guinea tribesmen.
4. And that’s it. Just those. Everyone else is a trendy poser.
5. Tattoos used to merely be bad taste, but now that they’re hip, they are truly vulgar.
6. Does Kelly have tattoos? Laird? Shaun Tomson? Zendaya? Shailene Woodley? Obama? Taylor Swift?
Nope. Why? Class. Good taste. Self respect.
They aren’t afraid to be themselves and do not feel the need to mark themselves permanently, just to fit in.
7. This guy’s got it right: https://www.youtube.com/wat…
8. All of the above.
Hmm, that is quite concise and succinct. Also crisp, laconic, terse, tight, to the point, economic, pithy, short and sweet, compendious, epigrammatic, synoptic, aphoristic, and gnomic.
Well done VONR.
I’ll listen to it later.
I got to hand it to you for your consistency. But I wonder, does this “I’ll listen to it later” reflex weave itself in to other daily routines of Party Pete.
Party Pete’s Wife: “Honey, the baby is crying. Can you check in on her?”
Party Pete: “I’ll listen to it later”
Party Pete’s Boss: “Hey Pete, can you get that phone call? It’s our biggest account.”
Party Pete: “I’ll listen to it later”
Party Pete’s Wife: “I’m gonna climax!!!”
Party Pete: “I’ll listen to it later”
Any other potential instances?
Mock his lefty leanings and he fires up instantly
I’ll listen to it later.
It’s the usual rubbish.
Mick Mock …..? BEX ….you without Party Pete , is like cornflakes without the milk ?
As Newton’s 3rd Law states :
For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.
Good bloke, mick.
Great collection of surfing paraphernalia has Mr Mock .
Don’t bother. It’s extremely boring and doesn’t ever mention anything about somebody filming the worst wave somebody ever surfed. Unless I missed that part which I probably did.
Enjoyed the planes flying over..
I think Pete listen later.
A few things:
1. Dave, I’m available to do those board reviews for you. Definitely have to get everything on film to get all the gold.
Some single fin
Wardrobe – some black rimmed attitude glasses, an oversized brown or green knit scarf, white v-neck undershirt, black skinny jeans, and bare feet (causing me to walk on my tippy toes)
Quotes – “looks really cool, nice lines… clearly have no idea what I’m talking about.”
“So much drive! Totally old school! Can’t even turn!”
“Definitely, if you’re the type to be in the market for this sort of board, you know, someone who is only looking to go straight, this is an awesome board!”
Album Asym
Wardrobe – Yellow Caterpillar trucker hat (it’s important to clearly carry myself like I’ve never done manual labor before), extra scruffy facial hair (dyed dark brown to make extra visible), short sleeved button up, carpenter jeans, Rainbow flip flops, finger and toe rings, and a wallet chain.
Quotes – “Don’t really feel any difference from a normal board… should I?”
“amazing… if you’ve ever ridden an asym, you know it’s a game changer.”
“It works enough. I don’t know… wait, this is the one I’m supposed to rave about, right?”
Timmy Patterson Gas Pedal
Wardrobe – my normal clothes: gray tee shirt, dark gray basketball shorts, a pair of Vans.
Quotes – “this is a board I actually wanted to try.”
“I loooooove swallow tails.”
“It turns pretty well. If you’re decent, it works.”
2. Chas, if you actually read your own website, you’d know Cedar is a real person (east county San Diego) who can’t stop telling people he’s in law school. Also, you should not encourage any more articles from him, they aren’t interesting and/or funny and they completely lack any insight.
3. You’re not getting any calls from the WSL (Patches or Prodie), not because you’re negative but because nothing’s happening in surf.
You’ve got me pinned.
Can’t wait for your 2020 writer’s review.
Hello Charles,
If you can have vision with the sound when this (Chinese adjacent distant cousin of Bruce Lee and Kellys Kalani) guy is on, can you please also have vision with the sound when there’s more interesting people on the podcasts.
I thank you in advance to take this request into consideration.
Yours sincerely,
Beefy…
Isn’t using pro commentators vs pro surfers to vocalize the wsl events storytelling the way we got whiney baseball announcer Turpel?
Only about ten minutes of surf talk, the rest was of no interest whatsoever. I’m a big fan of this podcast usually, but something DLS said alarmed me recently, that listeners where giving feedback that they were more interested in the non surf topics. Well I don’t agree. I know that there isn’t much going on at the moment, but those arseholes from San Clemente who went to the Ments deserved a good kicking on this podcast!
95% of the people who log on to these websites don’t surf. They just meander around surfers to be next to the lifestyle, and dudes. F man, go stand at any point break when they get overhead. Look how many “surfers” never f paddle out.
That is what the WSL would like to believe. I doubt there is any regular traffic here from non surfers
I still haven’t managed a go-out in fuck knows how long and I’m almost resigned in my head to not doing so until retirement on 3 beans a day. In my head I’m still 26 and ripping, if I could just get back into shape / practice.
Same old song.
Am I a ‘surfer’?
That’s a philosophical question which I’m not prepared to try to answer because I’m about to wipe, pull up my pants, and go clean the house, on Father’s Day.
Edit: to the comments below.
I ain’t complaining. It’s just the way it is right now.
I’m just providing a specimen of ‘surfer’ living dormancy.
Yeah, you are still a god damned surfer!
you said you surfing thurs fri last week what happened??
You should be getting a blowie and then ridden like a racehorse on Father’s Day, not cleaning the house. Throw down the broom, say “this can wait”, and go to the beach. Go bodysurfing to start to get back in shape. You will be glad you did. I always am when I take a week or so off from surfing. Even a bodysurf/swim is better than nothing.
Howzit Greeb You getting some of this recent south swell over there on the Garden Isle?
On Friday midday, just as it started. I been hunting all weekend as it’s the blackpowder muzzleloader opening weekend for deer. I didn’t get a deer, but I got a nice sow. Next weekend is opener for high power, and I drew that weekend in the lottery. Maybe I get one then. But from where I was in the hills today and yesterday, could see the whole westside coast. Yesterday looked pretty decent and lined up. Good wind. Today was smaller. Now I go clean up and get some rest. Tomorrow, I’ll go out, with less crowds, but less swell. And then smoke some pig in the afternoon. Thanks for asking, hope you got some good ones.
Of course you are CB! Buy a big board and let loose!
Really? I dunno man.. I always just sorta figured everyone here surfed, and regularly. I must be naïve. It’s not like you can fake it. 99% of surfers don’t go out beyond their limits for good reason, they know these limits and let those who can do the thing. Also, at a certain point after gromdom other than the act, life is just more interesting.
PI? Hmm. I’m in.
Is Chas gonna kick the puppy dog?
Once she gets to kickin size!
I reckon Dave would fuk u up if pushed.