"He understands the biz, you might say…"
We know what Instagram thinks.
Caio Ibelli said, “Your face scares the shit out of me”. A message he’s clearly been drafting for weeks and just waiting for the right moment to slip in.
Tom Carroll, brother of rough-hewn sage Nick Carroll, chipped in with a spunking emoji (though no aubergine).
The artist formerly known as Sal Masekela said he had to “down regulate” just to watch the clip. Falling into his trap, I had to google “down regulate” and now understand that Selema must be some kind of super warrior fitness guru guy. Like really, totally in the health zone. Like next level biological shit, man.
“Yo, Kelllllllaaayyyyy… you down regulating, bro?” I’d imagine he says.
Joel Parkinson wiped the ketchup off his little sausage fingers to quickly type, “Fuck that!” but with classic flow switched hands and never once stopped chewing.
Maya Gaberia, the WSL’s favoured big wave woman, unleashed her inner Scotsman and simply said “Holy shite”, whilst scratching her balls, presumably.
Chocorompe, the handle of legendary snowboarder Terje Haakonsen, contributed “Holy! Get clean *sponge emoji*” I have no idea what this means, but I have no idea how he rides with those binding angles either, and Terje can do what he likes.
Kelly, of course, was quick to sweep in with a classic shrugging emoji takedown. It must sting that the likes of Kai and Laird, objectively less talented on a surfboard, have carved careers not only financially superior to Kelly (Laird, at least, Kai’s on his way) but they’ve also nailed the one thing Kelly has always coveted: exposure and recognition from the mainstream.
But Lenny’s success comes at a price.
He genuinely could have selfied himself drowning at Nazaré, and he might do it yet.
https://www.instagram.com/p/CHIfLxMB2sa/
His clip will go viral, probably in the real world as well as ours. And at the very least, his 700k followers and the cream of world surfing have gobbled it up.
He understands the biz, you might say.
Sure, he’s whoring himself out at the possible expense of his life, but he’s getting to fuck about in the water for a living.
Is that an acceptable trade off?
It’s not tragic to die doing what you love, said Mark Foo and Bodhi from Point Break, shortly before dying doing what they loved.
If Kai Lenny does drown, gawking at a GoPro, not only will he have died doing what he loves (filming himself), but at this stage he might be an outright legend.
The potential greatest ever. The Steve Prefontaine of surfing.
I’m sure he doesn’t see it like this, but worth the gamble, you think?
On one hand, I have deep admiration for him; on the other, I think he’s a bit of a knob.
Ensuring your selfie stick is pointing the right way during a multiple wave hold down could be looked on as next level vanity. It might also be seen as a necessity in order to sustain his career in a sport where the only payoff comes via the attention economy.
But still, I can’t help feeling that Lenny has blighted the experience somehow.
There were others who braved these giant, perfect waves, these once-in-a-decade conditions. Their experiences, dramatic and captured as they may also be, will now be relegated to footnotes.
Has Kai Lenny leeched something from the others just to feed his own, personal brand?
And worse, has he made a mockery of it, perhaps belittling a critical situation by holding a camera throughout?
And what if he had drowned?
Would we see him as a hero, or as a fool?
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I really like Kai Lenny’s look – reminds me of Vinnie Barbarino and Arnold Horshack both, with a touch of Kotter thrown in. I’ll keep watching his videos for the feeling of nostalgia his face gives me, and if they ever do a remake of that show watch that too to see if Kai gets to do the stunts.
Not cool to pay out on people for being gay anymore, “not that there is anything wrong with that” so just a being a wanker thats in love with himself will have to do, the go pro is possibly one of the most self indulgent and off putting film formats available so go pro + Kai (perhaps one of the best big wave surfers ever) so a very modern and marketable combination
Definitely didn’t sit well with me.
Really, are we here just to show off?
Kai is never gonna dai!
You would absofuckinglutely do that shit if you had the opportunity and have a perma selfie stick sewn to your shoulder just for doing it. Every single reader of this article would do the same.
No, I wouldn’t.
Cool, thanks … I really wasn’t sure what my reaction would be … I’m glad you pointed it out for me … now what’s for dinner?
my favourite parts were the girlish screams.
People watch the kardashians, the election etc, of course they will tune in.
THis is the sort of discussion I come here for. Instagram react stories.
Kai will keep doing what he’s doing and people will keep watching at a much larger magnitude than they do for comp surfing.
He’s tapped into the NASCAR / drag racing model. It’s all about the crashes.
Surfing will be never be anything more to mainstream audiences than big wave wipeouts set to cheesy surf guitar sound tracks
He tapped a drag racing model? What’s her name?
Uhh, seen him as a hero or fool? If he would have drowned cause of pointing a Go-pro at himself to get a Selfie–“Stupid”– seems to fit better.
Hero or fool? A fool in my eyes. The real hero is the Go-Pro.
He’s wearing a flotation vest. How much difference to drowning would holding the camera really make?
Kai is impressive but not that video,.
Is it his sea-spray eyes shaped like pecans, skin the colour of buttered cocoa or lips as red as if he’d just applied a fresh coat of pomegranate lipstick that excites you?
He usually just looks like a small dot.
Whatever turns you on
If he had drowned?
I would have blamed it on the jet ski drivers, sued the flotation vest company, and thrown the selfie stick in jail. After all, it’s not the waves fault!
Bodhi didn’t need no ski.
Vaya con dios, Kai.
Fool!
Kai would have a cute GapKids-sized coffin. With a red bull sticker on it
I’d probably skip ahead and just watch the drowning bit but that’s only if Mason ho doesn’t have a clip out
Kook lit
I wish you were smarter.
‘Scottish man can’t fathom how terrifying it must be to be rolled around by anything other than a 2fter’
If a Kai dies, and no one is around to sees the gropo footage, does he really dies?
If anything is posted on Instagram, and Ke11y doesn’t comment, did it really happen?
Nice jp…but can you just clarify with me what other variations of dead there are?
Fake dead maybe?…would that be any death that has an adverse attitude toward the former president…whose name i can no longer remember?
Haha. It’s where you go beyond “OH FUCK MAN YOU’RE GONNA DIE!!!” and transition to “Shit. He’s actual dead.”