Happy days are here again!

An anonymous message was just forwarded to BeachGrit’s Pipe Masters Covid-19 desk, an internal World Surf League memo, and let’s get straight to it without pomp nor circumstance.

Good morning everyone! I have an important update for us:

We gave been making good progress with the State of Hawaii, DOH and the other departments.

Please advised that we could come off suspension at some point today, and then go ON HOLD for a call today.

Depending on when we can go on hold will determine how fast we can run.

Just want everybody to be be prepared. We’ll update you as soon as possible.

The typos have been dutifully preserved which suggest very much excitement.

Remember, yesterday, when I said the contest would be up and running today?

Very prescient.

More as the story develops.

Mostly the failures.

In what seems like an eternity ago, but was really just two weeks, the World Surf League trumpeted an extremely exciting six-part documentary series to be aired on Apple TV+. The presser promised, “…a behind-the-scenes look at the ‘aspirations, failures and accomplishments’ of the world’s best surfers as they strive for the World Surf League Title.” And “…a ‘rich exploration’ of the people who make up the 2021 World Surf League Men and Women’s Championship Tour, bringing viewers along on a journey to some of the most incredible surf spots in the world. The first episode will take place in Hawaii, with the Championship Tour kicking off on December 4.”

With World Surf League CEO Erik Logan contracting Covid-19, along with five of his helpers, and forcing a “suspension” of “production” aggrieved professional surf fans demand to know if there will be a “rich exploration” of his “failures.”

The League has been extremely tight-lipped since its inception in 2015, mirroring billionaire owner, and co-Waterperson of the Year, Dirk Ziff’s penchant for privacy. The Santa Monica headquarters coming to symbolize secrecy on a scale not seen since The International Order of Saint Hubertus.

And yet, as the calls for Logan’s resignation grow louder, a small but growing cadre of enthusiasts wonder if “bringing viewers along on a journey” of botched protocols, wasted surf, enraged surfers, internal despair and Joe Turpel silently weeping while eating take-away escargot from Lei Lei’s in his room might provide enough entertainment for the chief executive to hold on to his job.

It would be must-see-TV+, certainly, and the most compellingly watchable story.

Popcorn-worthy.

Will Logan provide the necessary access or is the production crew loathe to get within even twelve feet of the potential super spreader?

Much to ponder.

More as the story develops.

Typical.

You, seriously, cannot take surfing anywhere. She will, inevitably, drink all the booze, become verbally abusive, march around outside shouting about various conspiracy theories, pass out and remember nothing of her bad behavior the next morning.

Take, for example, The President of the International Surfing Association Fernando Aguerre who, yesterday, demanded a portion of the Games’ revenue because surfing is “not a one night stand” even though the sport has yet to make its debut.

Per Olympic rules, permanent fixtures get a cut of the monies while specialty events get treated like the trollops they are.

In a wide ranging interview with Reuters, Aguerre said, “We get nothing for Tokyo from the revenue sharing of the Games. But we need to have that discussion now, to have a review. Because we are not a sport of one Games. We had accepted that for Tokyo. But now it is a different situation with likely three Games. All indications are that it could be part of LA 2028. LA is the epicentre of modern day surfing. With the likelihood of three Games… surfing will be a permanent Olympic sport. We are not a one-night stand.”

Wait, LA is the epicenter of modern day surfing?

Whoa.

But also, so typical surfing being all high-maintenance and demandy.

Ugh.