"I want you all to know how great of a human being this man is."
I woke up this morning, dear reader, and thought, likely against my best judgement, to be completely transparent with you. I beg forgiveness at the outset. You know that I write and speak often about the world’s greatest surfer Kelly Slater. What you don’t know is that sometimes, very rarely, I am not altogether straight in my most high praise and descriptions of his excellence.
Sometimes, almost never, a low, smirking sarcasm drips in. A rude and and sniveling cynicism most underserving.
Why?
Jealousy maybe? An all-too-human desire to deface beauty? My motivations lost and swirling in this polluted heart.
But who am I to write and speak anything but appreciation for the 11x World Champion? An award-nominated author, yes. One half and one third, respectively, of two different surf podcasts (one currently on hiatus but re-emerging soon).
Nothing-adjacent.
Almost opposite from extremely important race car driver Lewis Hamilton who took to Instagram while I was sleeping my toxic, feverish sleep, to write:
He probably doesn’t know this but Kelly changed my life for the better. I want you all to know how great of a human being this man is. I am forever grateful for the time you have given me, for the insight and your passion for the waves. Thank you @kellyslater! Can’t wait until we can hit the waves again (praying hands emoji)
A fool.
I am a fool or foolish.
Possibly both.
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This community can’t even accept one token black guy, let alone two.
I’ll just wait to be humiliated here and go with that.
It continues to amaze me how the average no talent Joe’s take so much of their energy to completely type hateful emotions about people who work very hard to accomplish success as most athletes including race drivers do. They would never say these things to their faces, instead hiding behind a screen saying every hateful word. If you don’t like a particular person why don’t you just ignore the articles and move on?
That’s Sir Lewis Hamilton to you, Chaswick, old boy.
Ok, if you want to look like a kook, carry it that way, you’ll blend in with all the Wave-Stormers, if you’ve never shaped a board, maybe it feels ok to you, it just plain feels weird to me, each to his own, I guess.
Possibly??
Thankyou Seth. And thanks to Brutus.
Actually, the harder rail side makes it easier to grip.
Just like when you check out a board before buying it, you always set it vertical against something with the deck facing you, and run your hands down the rails with your fingers under the deck, to feel the curve of the rails, where they change from soft to hard and how hard the rails are, same way a shaper feels the rails when shaping a board.
Just feels way more natural to carry it that way too.
The first Kelly I ever idolized was the Kelly from The Bad News Bears. I’d probably idolize this Kelly more if he gave more to the poor than the rich..
I’m backing the little blonde minx in barrier four. Meeeeeeeeeow
My money’s on Bad Luck Blackie in lane one.
Must have be a certain moment in the relationship where Kels nodded to Hammo in a sign that he was ready to graduate from tub to real waves. Does Kelly hand out ocean licenses? Maybe that’s where the gratitude stems from?
Caio is to Slater as Alex Albon is to Hamilton. Hamilton is a cunt, who has a very good car, hopefully he has a lemon this year.
and the some of us probably think that Kelly’s a cunt for becoming a celeb green washer….but Hamilton is one helluva driver and has done quite a lot of good social work with BLM.
Oh he is really is exemplary in his social endeavours but him unapologetically running the poor Asian bloke Albon off the road is a bit rough for me.
yeah that’s racing …Albon’s the new kid on the block…….but it starts this weekend , I watch hours of all the tech stuff before the race , including every practice session….and Riccardo looks like he has a very good car this year….then there’s the GP moto……ah all is well again we have vaccinations , no pandemic , footy……but still shit surf!!
Yes I’m quite the fan also, the most watchable aspect is the chaos factor, so many butterfly effects and the drivers responses to the positions they find themselves in. I’m so pumped for Riciardo to show his truly freakish talent. Over in Gunditjmara country here and it hasn’t been much better, I couldn’t have picked a better time to break my foot, it must be absolutely fucked for you guys though.
I doubt Merc will ever have a bad car, but it would be nice to see some (more) competition in F1 this year.
It’s always evolving though, the best bit.
Their GT racecars were notorious for doing backflips down the straights. Sometimes they mess up.
Ha! After testing it appears to be very squirrelly in the back end!
Oh – interesting. Good to know. Thanks. Hammy is gonna do some (accidental) 360’s on the road. 10th fastest of the lot in testing. Better get some additional testing/research done
If his foot gets heavy from frustration expect many a spin!
The biggest problem F1 has isn’t how good Hamilton is, or how unbeatable the Mercedes is, it’s how utterly average Bottas is. Put Max, Fernando, Ricardo, Sebastian or Charles in that second Mercedes and Lewis might have a legitimate challenge for the championship!
Perhaps, but I’m not one hundred percent convinced. Starting Drive to Survive, fuck it’s good. Take note Elo you tool.
Indeed it is going. I was reluctant to watch it, thought it would be the old cliches, patronizing the viewer, explaining everything as nauseam, but it’s great, whether you like F1 or not you will find the characters compelling!
I see discussion further down the comments about the correct way for ‘Louis’ to be carrying his board.
Fact is, there’s NO correct way for Louis to carry his board.
That’s what paid lackies/slaves are for…
True
Possible the photographer/caddie handed it to Louis deck side out.
Soz for calling you a kook Louis
“Extremely Important?”
He could also be described just as you described Kelly. “Greatest.”
I know many people who will disagree with me there, but his stats would back that up. Tied with Michael Schumacher for most championships, just bested Schumacher’s previously unassailable win record and 2nd place to Lewis in pole positions is not even in the same ball park.
Yeah, sure, he gets a little whiny over dumb things at times and some days there is a hint of an entitled attitude, but I can’t argue against him having come from nothing and earning it the whole way.
Personally I can’t stand cat racing. I’d much rather watch paint dry.
Edit; FUCK!
CAR racing.
Goddam autocorrect / fat fingers/that ad.
He is a great driver to be fair. Seems like a decent chap too? If only he wasn’t English!
He’s African English
Lewis Slater has a nice ring to it.
P.S.
Kelly Hamilton sounds good too, but unlikely (given Kellys dominance in their relationship)…
Pronounced ‘Louis’.
Kelly and Lewis are walking down the beach to go for a surf.
Lewis: “Kelly, why are there only one set of footprints in the sand?”
Kelly: “It was then that I was carrying you.”
10/10.
LOL x 2. Every religious person’s home in my childhood had that saying somewhere.
I prefered it when Lewis loved Nicole Scherzinger instead of Kelly.
perhaps lewis was looking someone who would appreciate his back tattoos.
Backtoos
I have yet to see any person who looks better with tats than without.
Bit posed for I think.
Water must be cold, he’s got a springy on.
Like Kelly, Lewis is a little light in the loafers.
You didn’t know?
It’s so hot right now,
One word-networking.
Think they were talking about what a douche Rogan is?
Off-shore tax shelters.
Or who was going to buy a round after.
Lived a pommie, found out they aren’t too dissimilar to the Scots.
A broken clock is correct twice a day Chaz so it is possible for you, and I, to be both a fool and foolish. But for all the good in the world please continue running your Kelly train in the direction you have been on. It’s way more fun.
Imagine having a F1 driver teach you how to drive.
Well if it was Pastor Maldonado or Grosjean you would be fucked!
Board is wax side out walking in the sun?
Kook
Actually, the sun is almost directly in front of him and just a little to his left, and is not shining on his wax side, you can tell (if you enlarge it) by the shadow behind his foot and leg– and that ‘is’ the preferred way to carry a board, it just feels weird holding it with the wax in, only have to do it that way for a somewhat extended walk with the sun on the wax side.
That being said, even kooks get it right once in a while
Backing myself on this one sam.
Deck side in is my preferred way to carry a board.
Never paid attention to who carries it deck side out, but I will now so I don’t feel like a kook for bringing it up.
Don’t even get us started about fins first, or nose first on the roof racks.
I carry mine by the tail, with both hands, pointing it straight up in the air. Twirling it around merrily.
I wish I was you CB.
but what if you walk down in all your best branded gear to acknowledge to everyone that you surf – to then get changed – wax on clothes would ruin your image – just asking??
I surfed country for 2 years and would not have even thought of wearing a springy.
Or enhance their image ….
And nobody changes at the beach – a true kook move. The only pass here is if you are with family/girlfriend/wife and you are gonna hang at the beach for a while.
Check out some newbies on Wavestorms, that should tell you a lot.
I will have to online.
Not many around here atm.
Count your blessings.
SUPs is the issue at mine.
uggh – here in the San Diego area, we get WaveStorms, SUPS and now foil boards.
Haven’t seen a foil in Mornington yet.
Haven’t seen a Wavestorm.
Maybe too many comments by me here, but I have a buddy to carries his board wax side in, fins first – drives me f’ing nuts.
I drag mine along the sand by the leash
Dora used to do that too sometimes (sans leash).
one can simply move the board to the other arm, and maintain wax side out to avoid the sun – done. Lewis can thank me later – as in never.
Let the debate begin – wax side out IS the right way to carry your board. Nose first or tail first is another story – kooks carry it tail first. I agree with others here – someone handed Lewis the board in such a way as to carry it correctly.
Wax in, nose first.
Racks- fins first