Dark days ahead.
Oh but how the VAL utopia was ticking along without a bump in the road. An abundance of rinse-kits. Lineups packed with joy. A smile on every face and a Wavestorm in every garage but a hot new rumor out of Oahu for portents much possible trouble directly over the horizon and I quote:
Potential for civil strife here in Oahu. My buddy and I we’re just at the local Costco turning in our battered Wavestorms for freshies in prep for an upcoming south swell. After being refunded, we were informed that Costco has discontinued carrying the classic 8.0 Stormie!
Boom.
And can you imagine what the VAL will do? This may be the first time he has had a problem in his surfing life, a bump along her surfing road. It’s been all shakas and inclusivity up until now. Rainbows with various meanings.
One ocean etc.
Will they turn on each other in vicious ways, snarling and snapping like injured dogs?
Will they quit en masse?
I’d imagine a run on Costco not seen since the great toilet paper recession of 2020.
Scary.
More as the story develops.
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VALs rejoice!
Desperate VALs will soon be chopping down random balsa trees and crudely shaping them using the Mercedes emblems ripped from the front of their Sprinter vans.
Gotta wonder what Wavestorm did to get canceled. VAL culture eating VALs.
What’s this turning them in for refunds? How does that work?
Is it some queer American retail quirk?
Costco accepts returns of most purchases, no questions asked. It’s actually one of my hobbies when I go there to check out just how janky some shit is that people are returning. I’m talking couches used and abused for three+ years and just returned for full store credit. Shit you’d think no way they’d refund that, and sure as shit, they do.
It just goes to show how important volume is.
It’s actually a huge issue in Hawaii because tourists go there, buy Wavestorms, beach chairs, etc then return them for a refund before they leave. Costco doesn’t re-sell returns so they have containers of barely used ocean equipment that is effectively trash.
America at its best.
That’s insane.
As cruel as banning
Wheelchairs for the disabled
It’s such a cruel world
I can’t wait to see what Costco bring in to replace them. Maybe jet powered soft tops? Also, I have loved using a Rinse Kit to get off the post surf grime…the old bottle of water doesn’t even compare. To each their own I suppose!
You need a Mince Kit, bro.
Even better. Mo meaty.
Please tell me next that Bluestar has gobbled up Vineyard Vines and Brooks Brothers to continue the assault into the men’s lotion market, and you’ve made my weekend…
Chas if you’re gonna post from Derek’s profile you could at least try and get up to some mischief
Huge missed opportunity. He could have written about how Palestine’s waves are better than Israel’s.
Announce he’s leaving beach grit to write for the daily mail
Oh man… I was out before sun up and eyes so bleary. Noticed very much later and became sad that I saddled Derek with such…. pre-sun up effort.
dere-lect saddles up his own efforts in the foredawn; ask paul fisher? or perhaps let’s publish the posit?
Oi Derek
Any news on when ya gonna do that story about the board that went missing in South America and was found recently (a year later) in Australia covered in barnacles ?
Kinda like the Mavs one but more interesting due to time passed, distance covered and number of barnacles covering it.
It may not have had the Sunday evening news feelgood factor with cancer kids hand prints on it, but the owner did get it back…
Cheers
P.S.
How foolish of me to not realise that Chasdz wrote this, in my defence it’s early morning.
More as the story/day develops…
This is a non story. VALs need not fret. Jerry Lopez 8ft foamy is the new flavor of the summer. Already got mine at Price Club
I encourage some enterprising VAL to buy up all the Wavestorms on Craigslist, OfferUp, etc. and then sell them at a premium to desperate beginners and surf schools.
They will be become collectable retro boards!
Any relation to Bob?
Favorite player ever.
Not need to get frazzled VALs. Just head on over to the cheese department and pick up the Kirkland Signature Whole Wheel Parmigiano Reggiano 72 Pounder to accompany all that whine.
https://dynaimage.cdn.cnn.c…
I’m just trying not to get too excited about riding my lid again with one flipper.
You could chop up a wave storm into 3 boogies.
I’m actually a boog snob, nothing but the best.
So chopped up Lopez boards?
Haha, that is a fairly precise kink isn’t it.
So a booger VAL then?
I go way back.
Oh no! Wavestorms are being replaced by the similarly shitty Gerry Lopez soft boards, which are basically the exact same thing with different branding and a paycheck going to Yago Dora! Scandal! VALS, if they even realize a difference between the two, will think that the Ger’s are awesomer simply because they’re new.
https://www.costco.com/gerr…
Same board, same price
Yeah, they appear to be the exact same board. That was my point, I just used qualifying language because I’m a dumbass and sometimes shy away from definitive statements.
Ya I don’t think the wajvestorms came with that sweet plastic tail cap.
Or Pipeline/Oregon credibility.
The wavestorm is $119.99 and the Gerry is $189.99. I hope Mr. Pipeline can sleep at night knowing that the average VAL will have to skip one to two over priced mocha’s at their fave coffee rosters just to afford to go surf whenever I am since they work remotely and watch the cams all day to cherry-pick the choices condishs to shred just to get right in the way as I’m taking off.