In shocking rumor likely to send VALs and their loved ones into fits of uncontrollable rage, despair, Costco to discontinue the much-adored 8ft Wavestorm!

Dark days ahead.

Oh but how the VAL utopia was ticking along without a bump in the road. An abundance of rinse-kits. Lineups packed with joy. A smile on every face and a Wavestorm in every garage but a hot new rumor out of Oahu for portents much possible trouble directly over the horizon and I quote:

Potential for civil strife here in Oahu. My buddy and I we’re just at the local Costco turning in our battered Wavestorms for freshies in prep for an upcoming south swell. After being refunded, we were informed that Costco has discontinued carrying the classic 8.0 Stormie!

Boom.

And can you imagine what the VAL will do? This may be the first time he has had a problem in his surfing life, a bump along her surfing road. It’s been all shakas and inclusivity up until now. Rainbows with various meanings.

One ocean etc.

Will they turn on each other in vicious ways, snarling and snapping like injured dogs?

Will they quit en masse?

I’d imagine a run on Costco not seen since the great toilet paper recession of 2020.

Scary.

More as the story develops.


Listen: If Kolohe Andino wins a World Title this year he will throw it in the trash, catch it on fire, stomp away while flipping an all-American bird at professional surfing!

America? F*ck yeah.

I don’t know this for a fact, or because I have spoken to Kolohe lately, but his recent interview absolutely torching the World Surf League’s new and ill-considered format on Brazilian media made me fall in love with him once again.

The two of us have history which you may, or may not, be aware of.

I first interviewed him for a feature on proto-Stab Premium decades ago, taking him to the Ritz-Carlton overlooking Salt Creek, ordered some vodka thing and asking if he wanted the same.

He said, “No. I’m 14.”

On the way home he added, “Don’t worry. I won’t tell my dad you tried to buy me booze.”

Later, after the success of Red Bull’s greatest surf film of all-time, Who is JOB, I secured a Red Bull Kolohe Andino film wherein he would be depicted at the end of his career. Many substance abuse issues, broke, living in his mother’s basement.

Genius.

We shot the first scene and did not receive any more funding. I have it somewhere and it’s brilliant.

But Kolohe is us.

He always has been.

And him ripping in to the new WSL format re-re-re-confirms. He wants a title, an actual title, not some random win at Lowers on some random day.

He, like us, knows “it takes a tour to make a title.”

He, like a phoenix from the ashes is our new North Star.

Did you ever think the lame “takes a tour…” tagline would actually sum up what we’re all about?

Me neither.

David Lee and I also discuss revolutionizing the whole game by sponsoring Caio Ibelli.

The best surfer in the world?

A tight race between he and Kolohe.

Listen here.


"Amazing. Isn’t there always a rainbow over these two wherever they go?" said WSL commentator Ronnie Blakey. "They’re like Care Bears."

House of “gentle but fierce-looking” Hawaiian surf legend destroyed in terrifying blaze: “It was a towering inferno!”

"Today we remember a house full of love."

A fire of a yet-to-be-determined cause has destroyed the home of Hawaiian surf legend Tony Moniz, daddy to rookie of the year Seth, Pipe trials winner Josh and longboard world champ Kelia,

Tony and his wife Tammy split the fire with nothing but their lil dog, a Bible and a couple of Tony’s beloved surf trophies from the Duke contest.

“Twenty-four surfers get invited each year,” Tony told Hawaii News Now. “As a young child growing up I always wanted to get into the Duke Classic. Which wasn’t easy to do. It was the world tour to me. That was my goal.”

Ten fire trucks with forty firefighters hit the blaze, which started in the garage, but were unable to save the home.

“Within minutes, it was a towering inferno,” said Tony, a champion boxer, motocross rider and one of Hawaii’s best surfers in the seventies, eighties and nineties.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CMh0vyTn3Hi/

According to Warshaw’s Encylopedia of Surfing, “In the early ’80s, Moniz was one of the first to master the lay-forward stance, which allowed a backside-riding surfer to get nearly as deep inside the tube as a frontsider. In 1982, 1983, and 1984 he was a finalist in the Duke Kahanamoku Classic, held at Sunset Beach. By the mid-’80s, Moniz was concentrating on big surf, and he placed sixth in both the 1999 and 2001 Quiksilver-Aikau events at Waimea Bay.”

Another surfer of note, Derek Hynd, who lost his own home in 2019, wrote, “From unfortunate experience the entire sequence from spark to knowing the worst is coming down can take place in seconds, not even a minute. Tony sits as the toppest Top Bloke that I’ve met in my surfing decades and I hope he and the family emerge without long lasting effects from the trauma. Tragic.”

The house, which is in a real nice part of Honolulu, just east of Diamond Head, was worth around $600k.

There’s a GoFundMe kicking around, hoping to raise 200k to help rebuild the joint.

Already it’s hit sixty, from 459 donors.

“If you know them and or have visited Hawaii you were probably invited over their home for dinner or for a visit. Their house has not only been a home for them and their family but to countless others whom they have welcomed and loved over the years.”

https://www.instagram.com/p/CMh9QDTHwF4/

Despite losing everything, Tammy Moniz was characteristically upbeat.

The memories don’t stay with the house,” she said. “The memories stay in my heart and their hearts.”


Breaking: Australia names Olympic surf team after tiny, highly venomous jellyfish that inflicts incredible pain on those it touches!

Introducing "The Irukandjis."

Outside of Eddie the Eagle, I have zero room in my heart for Olympic nicknames, especially when they refer to teams. Wallabies and kangaroos, Fierce Fives and Fabulous Fours. Super lame but maybe lamest of all is the just announced nickname of Australia’s Olympic surf team.

Per the press release:

Australia’s Olympic surfing team have been named “The Irukandjis”, after a deadly species of jellyfish that menaces the country’s tropical northern waters.

The irukandji is a tiny, highly venomous, species of box jellyfish that inflicts an incredibly painful sting on its victims.

“The irukandji’s sting in the water is ferocious and that is how our Australian surfers approach competition,” Surfing Australia chair and seven-time world champion, Layne Beachley said as the team’s new name was announced on Wednesday.

That is the dumbest thing I’ve ever read.

Wow.

Sorry for the totally out-of-proportion splash of grump.

Continuing…

The team’s kit was designed by Indigenous artist Jasmine Craciun, who derived inspiration from her ancestors the Barkindji people, to “represent fluid movement within the water and emulate light hitting the ocean when viewed from below.”

Very cool.

It will look beautiful on Julian Wilson.

That’s better.


Watch: 75 Killer Orcas devour majestic 50-foot Blue Whale alive in front of introspective whale watching tour off coast of Australia!

Nature is metal.

Oh to be out off the coast of grand Western Australia on a whale watching tour. Sun warming faces, ocean teeming with life. The startled laughter of children as they see a playful seal bobbing and weaving. The quiet oohs and aahs of grandmothers as they focus on sea birds swooping and diving.

Then a collective gasp as massive pod of orcas is seen, 75 in all. Then a shared caught breath as a spout of water sprays the sky from an over-50-foot blue. Then stunned silence as those orcas proceed to eat that blue alive, children witnessing the brutality of nature, grandmothers seeing their own dimming light in the blue’s eyes.

But this is exactly what happened over the weekend and fun, no?

Jemma Sharp, owner of Whale Watch, had 40 people aboard her vessel when the action went down. The blue, she said, inadvertently swam into the orca breeding ground. “It’s a tricky situation because the blues can’t get through.’

The orcas went to work quickly, attempting first to drown the whale by pushing it on its side and keeping its air hole submerged but the whale was too strong and so the orcas changed tack and began biting the whale’s tail as a distraction. This worked then they drowned the stately creature while feasting on its flesh at the very same time.

A fine torture.

“All the family put their body weight on the whale so he couldn’t fight back, we saw the moment he took his last breath and then didn’t see him again,” Ms Sharp said, “It was a meaningful moment for the animals to be fed, it was nice to see all the birds and sharks and pilot whales receive a vital meal.”

As for the children and grandmothers, Ms Sharp declared they were able to have compassion for both the orca and the blue whale. “They were completely blown away but had the capacity to appreciate the importance of what they were witnessing.”

Very introspective.

Watch here.