Breaking: Australia names Olympic surf team after tiny, highly venomous jellyfish that inflicts incredible pain on those it touches!

Introducing "The Irukandjis."

Outside of Eddie the Eagle, I have zero room in my heart for Olympic nicknames, especially when they refer to teams. Wallabies and kangaroos, Fierce Fives and Fabulous Fours. Super lame but maybe lamest of all is the just announced nickname of Australia’s Olympic surf team.

Per the press release:

Australia’s Olympic surfing team have been named “The Irukandjis“, after a deadly species of jellyfish that menaces the country’s tropical northern waters.

The irukandji is a tiny, highly venomous, species of box jellyfish that inflicts an incredibly painful sting on its victims.

“The irukandji’s sting in the water is ferocious and that is how our Australian surfers approach competition,” Surfing Australia chair and seven-time world champion, Layne Beachley said as the team’s new name was announced on Wednesday.

That is the dumbest thing I’ve ever read.

Wow.

Sorry for the totally out-of-proportion splash of grump.

Continuing…

The team’s kit was designed by Indigenous artist Jasmine Craciun, who derived inspiration from her ancestors the Barkindji people, to “represent fluid movement within the water and emulate light hitting the ocean when viewed from below.”

Very cool.

It will look beautiful on Julian Wilson.

That’s better.

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
guest
34 Comments
Newest
Oldest Most Voted
channelbottom
channelbottom
5 years ago

It will be some surf lifesaving club exercise thing they were marking out.

As for the watchability of the event come time, that is beyond my prediction: weather / broadcast etc.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago

We’re so rapey

channelbottom
channelbottom
5 years ago

Sorry, can you translate?

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
5 years ago

Ya can’t forget ‘eric the eel’, the African (surf adjacent) swimmer, if you like ‘eddie the eagle’…

DavidC
DavidC
5 years ago

The only interesting thing about this is a commentator trying to pronounce it! Hell I’m from AUD I wouldn’t know!

Low wide stinkbug stance
Low wide stinkbug stance
5 years ago

The story of how they discovered which jellyfish actually caused Irukandji syndrome is almost unbelievable. An ex WWII commando who was also a doctor or medicine caught a bunch of them in a net and then tested the stingers on himself and his 9 year old son (!)

This is kind of hard core and candidate for badass of the month or worst parent ever!

https://litfl.com/jack-barn…

ricmatic
ricmatic
5 years ago

My uncle got stung in Cairns, didnt go into shock cuz he was so drunk.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago
Reply to  ricmatic

Those ‘extras’ at the massage joints can add up.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago

I’m glad they sought permission to use the name from the traditional custodians of the jellyfish.
$$$$

@surfads
@surfads
5 years ago

Interesting that irukandji syndrome induces similar sensations to reading the BG comment section https://m.youtube.com/watch…

channelbottom
channelbottom
5 years ago
Reply to  @surfads

I must be small and cunty myself because it just makes me feel alive.

@surfads
@surfads
5 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

I think they both looked very alive too! I got a bad bluebottle sting a few weeks back so came home and had a shot of tequila. Can highly recommend the enlivening qualities

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
5 years ago
Reply to  @surfads

Full body pains?

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
5 years ago

I was waiting for the Olympics to lame up surfing officially. It seems we just needed Layne’s presser.
The Box jellyfish would have been worse. (Somehow)

ricmatic
ricmatic
5 years ago

Cuz nothing sparks fear in an opponent’s heart like an obscure jellyfish.

disqus_00d1gIXedO
disqus_00d1gIXedO
5 years ago

It might look good on Julez, but it’ll look best being licked by Ella Jean, apres “backdoor”

Wiggolly's Paddling Style
Wiggolly's Paddling Style
5 years ago

Indigenous. So hot right now.

disqus_00d1gIXedO
disqus_00d1gIXedO
5 years ago

not if you’re said one, un-contacted in the deep Amazon or elsewhere, intentionally avoiding all of this

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago

You can identify as one if you like.
It’s your human right.

Wiggolly's Paddling Style
Wiggolly's Paddling Style
5 years ago

Haha how fucken cut are the gays, aboriginals and women gonna be when we all identify as gay aboriginal women? Karen’s gonna fucken blow her brains out.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago

I t’s a fact that if you were born in Australia then your previous life was as an aboriginal, it’s my human right to say its a fact.

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
5 years ago

They want to be small and very cunty in a rather waveless ocean, I found it to be rather apt.

AI (for ever) .
AI (for ever) .
5 years ago
Reply to  Dogsnuts

True but that description suits every little surfer on the pro tour. Small and cunty. Olympic Games or not.

It’s not Australian exclusive

Otto
Otto
5 years ago

It’s hard being ferocious without a brain.

channelbottom
channelbottom
5 years ago
Reply to  Otto

Tell that to the gimpy gimpy tree

Otto
Otto
5 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

I did, but it wouldn’t listen. Maybe it couldn’t.

channelbottom
channelbottom
5 years ago
Reply to  Otto

It ripped it’s own ears off in the agony it brings, even to itself.

scraps
scraps
5 years ago

copy/paste “babe, i’m done being a journalist, today. can i have $20? wanna buy some baseball cards”

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
5 years ago
Reply to  scraps

I already apologized. Leave me alone.

scraps
scraps
5 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

bend at the knees, not the waist.

ValiantScorn
ValiantScorn
5 years ago
Reply to  scraps

I’m sure it sticks out far enough for him to kiss….

scraps
scraps
5 years ago
Reply to  ValiantScorn

but not to fit in the pit.

Doobalachy
Doobalachy
5 years ago

Very woke

astro
astro
5 years ago

Bede: You hear me, Jules ?
You float like a butterfly and sting like an Irukandji
or something…
Just fucken win, ok ?


34
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x