Not the B.O.A.T.
The world’s greatest surfer Kelly Slater is, without any shade of doubt, a once-in-a-lifetime phenomenon. Handsome, well-spoken, ridiculously talented, driven. He holds 11 World Titles, the most in history and by far, winning his first in 1992 and his last in 2011.
This year, ranked 3rd after an eye-opening performance at Pipeline, he was in position to defy all odds and take home his 12th crown, cementing his place as the best of all time, or B.O.A.T. but alas, a four-year-old injury and maybe the prospect of spending two weeks locked in an Australian Ibis has halted his campaign.
What does this mean?
He will not be the B.O.A.T. but rather the seventh or eighth best of his generation.
Let’s count Kelly’s contemporaries who are now forever above him.
1) Wayne Gretzky
2) Serena Williams
3) Roger Federer
4) Tom Brady
5) Lebron James
6) Bo Jackson
7) Kelly Slater?
I know you think Wayne Gretzky is too old to belong but with a face like that oooooooee. How can he not be included amongst his youngers?
Anyhow, do you agree or should we nitpick?
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What a fuckin typical American take on whose the best!
Tony Hawk should be top 7
Cocaine and\or Meth is a helluva drug!
Yawn
I’m sorry your life is boring.
Perhaps a hobby?
Boggle?
Get another tattoo if there is any room left?
Try some new vaping flavors? Pina colada? Root beer? Che Guevara?
Get a man bun? Even if it’s just a weave?
Make some Tik Toks!!! That’s the ticket!
There’s more to Tik Tok than underage, sexually-precocious girls dirty dancing to shockingly vulgar rap lyrics and turning their parents inside out.
Some of them are tasteful and funny.
This one with the singing horse is great. I sent it to the M_____s
https://www.instagram.com/r…
And this one? I haven’t laughed this hard since I went to T___ H____’s house in Fallbrook with S_____ and we saw the video of B____ L____ who could smoke a cigarette with his butt.
https://www.instagram.com/reel/CJoalBqgreI/?igshid=kywkd48n8v7m
This was before Jackass and Big Brother. Someone would carefully place the butt end of a cigarette in the buttocks of B____ L____. He could inhale and make the cherry glow, then exhale smoke.
I died from laughing so hard, but paramedics arrived in time to revive me.
This one is mildly funny, speaking of buttocks…
https://www.instagram.com/reel/CJrK5x-AyY7/?igshid=1r2o1mcgrjiyu
…but maybe you should get off Beachgrit – which, really, is kinda dumb and pointless and redundant – and watch Tik Tok as you get another tattoo and experiment with new vaping flavors.
Or maybe make some Tik Toks of your own!
How to be a bored, doomed member of Gen Y-US?
That would spice up your life I think and give you something more to do than read this trash.
Start with Fail Salad and then branch out:
https://www.instagram.com/failsalad/
yawn
I’m only trying to kokua.
To show my aloha.
My heart soars with the aloha of the Hawaiian peoples.
This! Thank you! I would be polar bearing my family if swimming was my go-to sport.
Ok Bo Jackson? You’ve got to consider championships. You are putting Bo Jackson in front of Tiger Woods and Michael Jordan. What about anyone from soccer – the biggest sport in the world. I’m a huge Bo Jackson fan but honestly I don’t think he needs to be on this list.
BOAT female athelete = linda lovelace.
Evel Kenivel always gets my vote for most rad sports star ever.
the Gretzky brothers hold the NHL record for the most goals scored by a set of brothers, with a total of 2,861.
Of which Wayne’s brother Brent scored 4.
Bo Jackson didn’t play long enough so Kelly above him.
Michael Schumacher
True story…
Vinny Testaverde’s mom used to drive around Franklin Square and Elmont with license plates that said “HEISMAN86.”
The Hoff?
I’m not voting for any sports person who hasn’t been randomly drug tested per profession sports protocols.
Sorry to piss on the pretend pro surfer/wozzle parade
I’m not voting for any sports person who hasn’t tried to use a Whizzinator at least once.
The colour options/selection really is impressive.
I wonder which one Serena Williams wears?
Whichever one has the highest testosterone level…
Not a great look. Uncanny resemblance to Brando`s Kurtz in Apocalypse Now.
I once high-five’d Ira Glass. Caught mid stride in passing “high FiIVE Ira”. Never looked back. Anything premeditated is just as bad as staring..
Is this a parody account?
Jordan should mos def be on that list and probably should be really near that #1 spots. Dude was gnarly.
Chas is being….Chas.
But yes, Jordan should be in the discussion for the greatest athlete…period.
Sheep Dip. Nice
Dale “Fucking” Earnhardt!!! Multiple time champion at 200+ mph left turns for 3+ hours every Sunday. He died a champion. His son made 2x as much money and can’t even lick his dad’s boots. Has Kelly Slater ever come close to dying?!?! Dale was so fast that NASCAR had to artificially slow the fuckers down. Long live Dale and may the south rise again!!! General Lee!!! Confederacy!!!! Daisy Duke!!! Lindsay Graham and ALL his young male interns!!! Fried green tomato BLT!!! Chicken AND Dumplings!!! Divinity with pecans!!! Okra fried in bacon fat!!! Plantation Vacation 2021….as soon as Covid is over!!! KS totally forgot his southern roots.
I saw cotton and I saw black, Tall white mansions and little shacks….Southern Man!
Earnhardt, Fried green tomato BLT!!! Chicken AND Dumplings!!! All deserve the nod. The rest on your list Nah!
My Mama’s collards top them all..
If your not coming with pig fat you are not cooking!!! Southerners and Mexicans know what’s up. I always wonder if gringo vegetarians and vegans know that those delicious beans and tortillas in Mexico almost certainly have manteca….at least if they are any good!
I’ve been to the Dukes of Hazzard museum in Nashville.
AMAZING!
Better than Dollywood in Tennessee?
I haven’t been to Dollywood so I can’t say.
How the fuck turning left is a sport? I truly admire my american peers. Anything sells in that place.
High speed left turns for 3+ hours every Sunday!!! Don’t disrespect #3!!! If still alive he could’ve been a senator from the great state of North Carolina and voted to not certify Biden’s election results.