Brutal. Absolutely brutal.
But how much surf royalty has southern California’s San Clemente produced? More than any other seaside hamlet anywhere on earth? Off the top of my head, I count Richard Nixon (father of Nixon watches), Shane Beschen (father of Noah), Chris Ward (father of Malia), Dino Andino (father of Kolohe).
All very fine but it is the penultimate on that esteemed list who is of most interest, today, for Malia Ward is set to star in this summer’s The Ultimate Surfer won by Zeke Lau and the most interesting for sure.
The 23-year-old USC graduate, who splits her time between Malibu and San Clemente, enjoys longboard skate dancing, tennis, acting and, of course, surfing.
Though did she enjoy her time the Surf Ranch set of The Ultimate Surfer?
Well, an impeccable source overhead young Ward describing her experience thusly:
“It was psychological hell. They took our phones and the producers plotted us against each other. I had no idea what was going on and hope I don’t look like an idiot.”
Oh the trap of dang reality television. As I recently shared, contestants in any show, lured in by promises of fame, an increased platform, fame, fame are but meat in Hollywood’s ravenous, and ravenously undiscerning, jaw. There is no care for emotional well-being, for truth. Only blood, ratings-spiking blood, will do and producers have spent the last two decades-plus sharpening their teeths on the bones of naive hopefulls.
The fact that World Surf League CEO Erik “ELo” Logan threw surfing’s young, vaguely innocent QS and QS-adjacent hopefuls to the jackals shows a level of cutthroat savagery not seen since he took the reins some three-ish years ago.
He came from Hollywood and either knows, or is vaguely aware, of the game.
Brutal.
Absolutely brutal.
Expect Surf Fan Island to be put into production next where the loving BeachGrit community is rounded up, boated to Anacapa and left without food or drink to die slow, dull deaths.
It won’t be televised.
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the stickerless boards sez it all!
And why would they do this? Because the average person watching is looking for Jersey Shore not Wave Pool Adjacent! ELO took a big dump on surfing trying to keep his slimy job with this guaranteed turd! Maybe the producers got lucky and Bill Murray showed up looking for a chocolate bar.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Because it would be cruel to do so?
Was he the fat bloke who did …… actually I have forgotten him already .
Mustard …. It’s an industry …. The French City of Dijon was built on it ..
That is 1950 talk for “ they took our souls and 1850 talk for “ they took our Bibles “ …..
Some one should have told these kids “ There is no such thing as a free lunch “ .
In 1750 they took your penis.
1750 detachable penis
https://youtu.be/byDiILrNbM4
Lyrics were fun when i was a grom, now I’m insanely focused on the drumming and guitar work. Amazing track.
The stickerless boards sez it all!
I’m frothing for this show. Not for the show, but the aftermath/wash up sessions on BG. Really hoping that Chas applies his deep TMZ skills to an episode by episode recap.
Good point, I don’t think Wardo won any dad of the year awards…
Hence the term wards of the state ……
Surfads to take his place
It’s the hot tip!!
I’d fuck her tho
…”I had no idea what was going on and hope I don’t look like an idiot”…
(Wow, I actually feel sorry that she’s so unaware of herself, her parents and her life in general)
Sorry love, but in your case the apple definitely fell straight down at the foot of the tree, a seed sprouted in some cow shit and it’s been growing in the shade of that shitty crabapple ya whole life…
Some of my deepest moments “stemmed” from cow shit!
Ah the Gold Top Mushrooms …..?
Does anyone honestly believe this pathetic waste of effort is going to even make it to episode 3 before being pulled?
Chics walking around with their muffs out, and an occasional surf!? YES! Vag and surfing are hits. Just turn the drama button down, and play some BlackFlag
I hope this show is so well received that there is season 2 “The past future champions, San Clemente”. Put every pro from there older than Kalohe on the ranch and let em fight it out for a Kelly’s spot on the tour in 2023. Hogan, Beschen, Fletcher, Archy, Dino, Wardo, and the rest with their girlfriend/wifes. It would be the highest drama on the tube!!! Can you imagine Kelly being forced to give some helpful coaching to Shane or Christian without a few words or fist flying? And an inspirational visit from Pottz, who help light their fire back then. Heats start at 11pm so the boys are all tuned up and loose. Lights on lets part!!!!!!
Oh, is Anacapa, Anastasia’s cousin or something?
I’ve no idea WTF.
“Psychological hell”? this ultimate surfer thing mightve actually turned out entertaining!
That’s a nice cut and paste from Island Packers. They don’t give a shit about Anacapa, they head to Scorpion to make money. The NPS on the other hand, are constantly pulling up to Anacapa regardless of weather.
Stu Kennedy sponnoed by coopers.
A match made in Irish Heaven . Go Stu …..hope he makes some dough at Rottnest too .
Anacapa (yes, I’d never heard of it till now, so looked it up on google earth) looks like quite a good place to set up a thriving camp actually.
Abundant sealife and small animals and birds to eat. Some deep ravines on the north of the west island for water collection. Wouldn’t be too difficult to brew alcohol from some of the plants. Probably some weed seeds already there that had drifted out on the tide when a hippy threw their stash in the sea to avoid a bust on the mainland back before seedless clones became popular.
Yes, in all a very pleasant place to set up a cultured civilisation…
That might be your most useful comment ever
I’ve actually been there. We might turn it into a paradise!
A few well placed explosives on the cliffs would make for some decent reef breaks too..
If you wait long enough erosion might have the same effect …..definitely made some slabs in Sydney
Check out Santa Cruz Island, 30 miles long! and blocks most south/southwest swells, from Santa Barbara. It has very few good surf spots, compared to the SB/VTA coast, which is kinda weird. None of the other islands are particularly rich in spots either. Not enough streams to make points, so reefs and “beaches”….but nothing like the many points of the coast here.
It would get really good in summer here if the islands were not there.
Surprised its not like built out like Catalina Island (Waikiki) but early cattle operations kept it private. The Channel Islands all sit just off one of the largest metropolitan areas in the world.
Santa Cruz is what Santa Barbs sees when we look out at the ocean. Pretty much the whole field of view.
Other islands (Anacapa, Santa Rosa) and San Miguel visible when its clear.
Since when is Chris Ward’s crotch dropping considered “surf royalty”?