The powerfully built Hawaiian with full round breasts sculpted by god and that rivet the eyes returns to the WCT!
In an important rumour, loosed, perhaps, to quell the disquiet over the WSL’s lack of diversity in its TV debut Ultimate Surfer, BIPOC Hawaiian Zeke Lau wins the series, and is gifted wildcards to Snapper, Margaret River and Surf Ranch on the 21-22 Tour.
The six-foot-two, two-hundred pound Hawaiian with full round breasts sculpted by god and that rivet the eyes, qualified for the WCT in 2017 and competed for three seasons before missing the cut for the 2020 season.
It ain’t surprising Zeke wins; put any WCT surfer against qualifier-level shredders and the difference is marked.
The other cast members, Kai Barger, Austin Clouse, Mason Barnes, Luke Davis, Alejandro Moreda and Koa Smith are a mix of beauty and some talent, although none, I think, at CT level, unlike Zeke.
Zeke’s high point on the tour was in 2018 when he highlighted the world champion John John Florence’s tender underside, an unwillingness to engage in paddle battles etc.
From Longtom’s report on the day,
“Zeke, with a face like an Easter Island statue and physique to match, had monstered John, got all up in his grill and had sent the world champ into a tailspin. Combo’ed, Florence fell, then fell again as the clock ticked down. It was thrilling and almost wincingly painful to watch, like a David Attenborough documentary where the elegant ruminant gets savaged by a lion then has its insides ripped out by a pack of hyaenas. The champ looked so helpless. All that insouciance at the Gold Coast was gone and in its place was a lonely blond-haired kid being frowned upon by an older man on the stairs who shook his head sadly as the siren sounded.”
The WSL subsequently reinstated a rule that surfers could not “excessively hassle” their opponents.
“I seen the Zeke Rule,” Zeke said. “I’m making history out here. They gotta make new rules to contain me. Excessive hassling… I call it just a little love tap, y’know. That’s all it is.”
Ultimate Surfer goes to air Monday, August 23 at 10 p.m. ET/PT.
Dunno who wins the girls, if y’wondering.,