"A lighthouse for so many who feel lost, disconnected or want more magic in this life."
The sexiest surfer who has ever lived, the Kauai-born Koa Smith, famous for charging like a bull at Cloudbreak and Skeleton Bay and who was a star of MTV Teen Cribs when he was just a fourteen-year-old twink, has released an online program that promises “reconnection” through “the ancient practices we’re all born with” for $29 per month.
In a message to his 325,000 Instagram followers, Koa Smith offered the very special rate to the first 100 people that signed up to his wellness program, warning of a price increase so get in fast etc.
“I’ve been working on this project that’s so dear to my heart and it’s time to be released to you guys. Through my life as a professional surfer, I was raised by the laws of nature. And through overcoming brain injury and diving deep into meditation and plant medicine, I have encountered these different practices that help connect me to life and to my deepest version of myself.
“And now for the first time, I’m bringing it all together in one place This isn’t about telling you how to live your life. This is about creating fertile ground for you to rediscover and reconnect with who you truly are through ancient practices that we’re all born with.
“Breathwork, meditation, things that make you feel clear and aware in your life. Because once we reconnect, we’re free. Inside, you’ll get step -by -step videos, monthly calls with me, guest sessions with masters, and most importantly, a tribe to grow with on this path. This concept is based around remembering that we are human and finding out what that natural flow in life feels like. If this calls to you, click the link in my bio and come join Koaw Academy. I’m so excited to share and grow this community, shape it together, and explore what is our potential as humans in this lifetime.”
A subsequent post detailed a wonderful experience with deep-dive breath meditation.
“Last night I decided to share the Deep Dive Breath Meditation I created for K.A with my brother. We blasted it loud over the speakers as we lay under the starry night sky.
“It was the first time I’ve shared anything from this course, and I could feel fear and unworthiness bubbling up. But I pressed play anyway.
“As the breath began, I was flooded with a wave of gratitude. Creating Koa Akademy has been such an emotional journey — a true process of stepping into my power as a teacher. As I breathed, all that emotion rose to the surface and poured out of me. Tears flowed, followed by uncontrollable laughter at the realization of what this really is: a lighthouse for so many who feel lost, disconnected or want more magic in this life.”
Koa Smith has long been spellbound by the metaphysical. Two years ago, at a show hosted by faith-healer Joe Dispenza, which was also enjoyed by world number two Griffin Colapinto, Smith witnessed, first hand, own eyes etc, the miracle of the lame and crippled being gifted back the use of their legs, the sorta thing last seen in a pretty little town called Lourdes in the Pyrenees and, previously, when the noted Jewish preacher Jesus Christ put the paralysed back on their feet in the ancient Jewish provinces of Galilee and Judea.
“I saw people getting up out of wheel chairs. I saw canes in the trash and people cracking their hearts wide open and feeling true love for themselves!” Koa Smith explained.
“Dr. Joe Dispenza is helping us understand how to tap back into Human potential. Taking complex techniques and science and making it digestible for anyone. He’s reminding us that we have the power to create the life we desire. We have the power to tap in and heal our selves from anything and ultimately how to heal other people.”
Need any more convincing? Buy here!
But be quick, only seventy-seven discounted early-bird rates remain.
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I’m all for a bit of meditation, but this is straight looney-toons bullshit grifting.
Al he needs to do know is move to Bali to get this cult going!
Good call!!!
Tall poppy syndrome and a keen sense of humor would clear this up in Australia real quick!
Grifting
So koa pays me $29 a month to watch his vlog? Do I still get paid if the sound is down and I am dozing or scrolling ?
Mine was a XL, when I should have gotten a L. That’s why my own didn’t work.
Ive been feverishly searching for a replacement for the last 12 years ……unsuccessfully
It’s a steal. Some people need coaching and this is as cheap as it gets.
For a laugh, I saw online that some men are paying $18;000 for a 3 day “Alpha Male” training course, where they’re screamed at and called pussies and momma’s boys. didn’t care enough to check out if that’s true or not.
have a link to Koa’s class 😉 ???
Not sure which is worse. The flogs who sell this shit and believe it themselves, or the people who know it’s all a load of dancing worded wank and do it anyway
Why are cunt’s called Koa such fuckwits?
They don’t knoa
This is “livin” like a queer cunt
Had a dog called Koa once , he was a bit of a cunt too
$29 gimmicks by fuckin Big Teeth.
Anything not to work. Gets me thinking. What lineup around the globe has the least amount of skills? I’m not talking about ability to blow the tail above the lip, I’m taking real world skills, skills to make society function, skills to pay the bills.
Even the chickens are laughing at him. And who makes a sales pitch by speaking every sentence as if it’s a question.
High Rising Terminal also known as Moronic Interrogative is a feature of some accents of English where statements have a rising octave intonation pattern in the final syllables of a non question utterance.
It’s a common inflection in Australia, known as Australian Question Intonation and in Aotearoa by both Pakeha and Māori although it can be found in many countries where the affectation is adopted by certain speakers, mostly women.
Linguists have many theories about its origins but for that you’ll really need to ask that self deluded, Dunning–Kruger afflicted, know-it-all brainiac, John Kunty Callahan, to be sure.
Koa Smith preaching Koa’s myth…
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Comes with a handbook of famous quotes from the Troll, one hat with Shaman horns, free voter registration forms, slide projector and screen, one crisis actor who can leap to their feet from a wheelchair(wheelchair not included), one financial advisor, one bag of Ketamine, and enough mystery flavored Kool-Aide to kill your first 100 followers.
DON’T DELAY GET YOURS TODAY!!!!
Not sure what’s worse about this excuse for journalism. Koa’s mumbo jumbo or Dereks Israeli ass kissing.
#moneylendergrit
Derek’s shit out of luck, Australia has just recognised the Palestinian state.
He comes from money so that gene was passed down… Hey what happened to Sunrise Shack global expansion shares?
There’s a lot of money to be made out of being a cult leader. Look at that fuckwit Russel Brand.
A friend of mine with father issues got involved in the cult with Mooji. He’s a clueless fuckwit British Jamaican and runs an ashram in Portugal. Surrounds himself with loser disciples then fucks the hottest of the women. It’s fucking disgusting.
Sounds like hes got at least a few clues
Yeah I like the last part
Koa is enough of a retard to actually believe this shit.
Bro just sell me some snake oil I can rub on my junk like a real grifter.
Oil up your snake and use the complimentary dropper to dose up your japs eye!
Xox
That’s what I was going to say.
It’s so obvious
Xox
I’ll never look at it the same now 😆
Bro! A Jap’s eye?
That’s a new one.
man that’s been in use in Australia since at least the war.
Oh! You are American haha.
Xox