Koa Smith says new WSL tour sucks!
Koa Smith, honey skinned and shiny, barebacks WSL in online rant!

Ultimate surfer Koa Smith slam dunks new WSL tour with devastating golf analogy!

“This would be like having the tour players play Putt Putt to see who’s in the majors.”

The last time Koa Smith was on these pages was one year ago, extolling the virtues of charismatic faith healer Joe Spinoza.

The three-time NSSA champ, runner-up to Zeke Lau’s Ultimate Surfer and prized fashion model said he witnessed, first hand, own eyes, the miracle of the lame and crippled being gifted back the use of their legs, the sorta thing last seen in a pretty little town called Lourdes in the Pyrenees and, previously, when the noted Jewish preacher Jesus Christ put the paralysed back on their feet in the ancient Jewish provinces of Galilee and Judea.

“I saw people getting up out of wheel chairs. I saw canes in the trash and people cracking their hearts wide open and feeling true love for themselves!” claimed Smith. 

Today, Koa Smith, who is twenty-eight, has slam dunked the WSL’s new Challenger Series with a withering put-down on the WSL’s own Instagram page. 

The best surfer in the world should master all surfing elements.

Going to respectfully drop in here and paint a dream.

What if the challenger series offered an opportunity for the next generation of the sport to shine and show there worthiness in different aspects of surfing. So when they get to the CT they are ready!

Creating a well balanced schedule at consistent beach breaks. Point breaks lefts and right and a wave of consequence.

Exciting surfing, better waves, more views, more sponsors, better surfers!

Like collage football vs. NFL Same field younger players.

Or if golf is an example this would be like having the tour players play Putt Putt to see who’s in the majors.

After a little to and froing in the comment, Koa Smith laid out his dream tour.

1. Krui (left point)
2. Nias (right barrel or right point when it’s small)
3. Huntington Beach (beach breaks)
4. El Salvador (right point)
5. Haleiwa

You like?

As for the new Challenger Series, former tour surfer Davey Cathels responded simply, “Jesus Christ.”

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Cuntry Singer
Cuntry Singer
1 year ago
Kama'aina
Kama'aina
1 year ago

I always thought surfing needed a gay male surfers face for the WSL. You know one that is super into yoga but not like how Rasta is, that rocks that man bun, has a hot girlfriend, and loves acai bowls and other chick foods. Thanks for stepping up Koa. Checked all the boxes.

Black Rubber
Black Rubber
1 year ago

I mean, he’s probably not wrong but when he immediately misuses there/their a misspells “college”, all I can think is this poor kid was led astray. He needed more time in school and less time in the ocean, Those looks are gonna fade soon.

Happy Camper
Happy Camper
1 year ago
Reply to  Black Rubber

those looks could last a lifetime in psychopath slasher films or endless remakes of The Omen.
imagine a big ass blood dripping blade in his hand.

Dim Sim
Dim Sim
1 year ago

What nonsense is waves of consequence? Big ones? Not fat ones? Hollow ones. Fuck this groupdumbolanguo. So much awful.

Shredy Kruger
Shredy Kruger
1 year ago

When the shrooms ware off and you know you solved all the worlds problems, but just can’t remember the answer…. poor Koa forced to live on the Northshore…. trying to remember….

Sellme fitzgobbins
Sellme fitzgobbins
1 year ago

Koa is so smart (and handsome xx) !
I cant believe somebody didn’t anybody think of this already…. genius
oh yeah rabbit ,maybe 40 years ago

snapper
snapper
1 year ago

1.Pipeline
2.Sunset
3.Pipeline
4.Sunset
5.Pipeline

Noncompetitor
Noncompetitor
1 year ago
Reply to  snapper

Speed power flow

Chuck Dukowski
Chuck Dukowski
1 year ago

Pre internet Pro Surfing’s eternal dream of growth to the masses was positive thinking.
Now it’s just a dull relentless headache.

Occys pool plug
Occys pool plug
1 year ago

Other then nias, wouldn’t Koa’s waves be found in the intermediate chapter of the surf guide.

Occys pool plug
Occys pool plug
1 year ago

1. Arica
2. Supertubos
3. Nias
4. Restaurants / Sunset
5. Mex pipe ender

Occys pool plug
Occys pool plug
1 year ago

Koa’s was par 3

Happy Camper
Happy Camper
1 year ago

White Plains ~ Hawaii
Leo Carillo ~ Cali
Barra ~ Rio
Grande Plage ~ Biarritz
Bondi ~ Sydney
Kuta Beach ~ Bali
Mex Pipe ender

Noncompetitor
Noncompetitor
1 year ago
Reply to  Happy Camper

Tijuana Slough
San Clemente Island
Cortes Bank
Potato Patch
Farallons
Mex Pipe ender

Nikola
Nikola
1 year ago

Arica is a gnarly pipeline-like wave without babes at the beach

FL Skunk Ape
FL Skunk Ape
1 year ago

Lost me at ‘collage’…

Chrisisstillanoob
Chrisisstillanoob
1 year ago
Reply to  FL Skunk Ape

Poor guy.

channelbottom
channelbottom
1 year ago
Reply to  FL Skunk Ape
JohnsKnees
JohnsKnees
1 year ago

1. Abu Dhabi – (Bottom 15 Executed)
2. Leemore
3. Abu Dhabi – (Bottom 10 Executed)
4. Leemore
5. Abu Dhabi – (Bottom 5 Executed)
6. Leemore – Winner is the Ultimate Surfer Survivor

Stick man
Stick man
1 year ago
Reply to  JohnsKnees

*Surfvivor

Disco
Disco
1 year ago
Reply to  JohnsKnees

Changas meets Squid Games. I like it.

Greg
Greg
1 year ago
Reply to  JohnsKnees

I like your execution take, but might be hard to pass certain laws (unless your gay in Abu Dhabi) …. How about…..

Bondi (between the flags soft tops only)

Palavas-les-Flots for some Mediterranean hard core action (nude only and .10 alcohol level required before competing)

Huntington including a required riot with surfers and beach attendees (cmon Huntington lift your game). Punch on capability included in best 2 waves.

Mauritius for the obvious shark potential entertainment. Not sure how you score a shark attack.

And a wild card paddle only event at a code red Nazare.(paddle only).

Surely we’d get some wct worthy surfers after this?

Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
1 year ago
Reply to  JohnsKnees

Squid game!

JSC
JSC
1 year ago

I am sure the WSL people would like hold events in better locations – anyone can spend five minutes of their time and jot down a list of “Dream Tour” locations.

Finding the money to stage events in these locations? That is a different story altogether.

Find the money first, then make your proposals.

Pool Vandal
Pool Vandal
1 year ago
Reply to  JSC

Who owns the WSL?

Gil Gunderson
Gil Gunderson
1 year ago

This, from the runner up of ultimate surfer… 😂

@surfads
@surfads
1 year ago

lil’ deivey silva licking his lips

Jimmy the Saint
Jimmy the Saint
1 year ago

Let’s go all out and get Joe Spinoza to be the next CEO of the WSL, although Jesus Christ himself couldn’t raise this turd out of its grave!

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
1 year ago

Maybe a job for Allah!

Stick man
Stick man
1 year ago

Allah talk to ya later!

Sean Connery
Sean Connery
1 year ago

The Ultimate Kook

Mapski
Mapski
1 year ago

Let’s keep it real:1. Seaside Oregon 2. Fullers 3.Hazard Canyon 4. Lunada Bay 5. Rifle Range

Gwen Walz’s Eyes
Gwen Walz’s Eyes
1 year ago
Reply to  Mapski

Including maps, multiple video clips, local eateries etc.

Blow it ALL up

JSC
JSC
1 year ago
Reply to  Mapski

Brasil stop at Quebra Mar in Rio –

Japan stop at Monobe or Niyodo –

Australia stop at Cactus –

Indonesia stop at Tarimbang –

Mapski
Mapski
1 year ago
Reply to  JSC

No Little Andaman?

JSC
JSC
1 year ago
Reply to  Mapski

Pass on Little Andaman – go straight to North Sentinel, it is holding!

JSC
JSC
1 year ago
Reply to  JSC

North Sentinel Island. It has been surfed, back in 1999 –

https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

Barrelled
Barrelled
1 year ago
Reply to  JSC

If only that currently active photographer that was on those trips would share his photos and stories.

Abscessed Llama
Abscessed Llama
1 year ago
Reply to  JSC

Beautiful set up! That place is very interesting.

Mapski
Mapski
1 year ago
Reply to  JSC

I hear the locals are humorless.

Kama'aina
Kama'aina
1 year ago
Reply to  Mapski

No expose tour

RJ
RJ
1 year ago

i’d probably be upset about the format too if my best challenger series result was a 49th losing to Kei Kobayashi at Huntington.

ValiantScorn
ValiantScorn
1 year ago

4. El Tunco(?) or….
3. Huntington Beach…
I’ll just leave those there for those of you that have surfed these places and caught it good that (1), or (2) times over 4 decades….


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