Camping shoes, man surf boots and binoculars – Christmas gifts with spite!
Time to hate that surfer in your life. But how to find the perfect gift to spite him or her? Holiday gift guides on popular surf websites is where. And let us begin with The Inertia. This wildly controversial surf website suggests the surfer in your life will hate a dry robe. Nothing kills a pre-session amp up more than having to change to biting cold weather.
Thankfully, you never have to experience that bone-chilling feeling again with Dryrobe’s Advanced Long Sleeve. The surfer in your life that you hate the most will look like an absolute fool in their changing robe.
Foolish and laughable.
What is more hateable right now than Vans Triple Crown of Surfing? Also part of the wake of their destruction features the Pipeline Masters, the once important event now an old relic that nobody cares about. My how times change. Vans, the hammer of evil. Get that surfer you hate in your life some man’s surf boots.
Moving on, The Inertia suggests you get the Teva Re-Ember slip-on shoe for the surfer that you hate. This shoe is one of the ugliest things I’ve ever seen in my entire life. The surfer in your life will look like an ass as they’re walking down the street. They will look like an ass when they’re in line at the grocery store. Really dig the knife in that surfer you hate with these ones.
Last, is a pair of binoculars. Nothing is as pointless or as annoying on Christmas morning, Hanukkah Eve, Diwali afternoon, than to open up a pair of binoculars. They’re worthless in the best of times and absolutely junk for a surfer.
Is a surfer in your life going to go down to Swamis, out at Lowers and get those binocs out? You know what they’ll look like?
A foolish ass.