Sean Penn (left) and Hunter Biden. Bosom Buddies.
Sean Penn (left) and Hunter Biden. Bosom Buddies.

Surf legend Jeff Spicoli delivers robust defense of beleaguered first boy Hunter Biden!

"I don’t know if I want to have a beer with somebody who wouldn’t have pardoned Hunter Biden...”

There are only three fictional surf characters ever created that matter. Johnny Utah, Matt Johnson and Jeff Spicoli. The latter featured in the coming-of-age masterpiece Fast Times at Ridgemont High and was brought lovingly to life by Sean Penn. The nepo-baby was 22-years-old at time of filming and history has it he so immersed himself in the role that he refused to be recognized by his real name, forcing cast and crew to refer to him as Jeff Spicoli 100% of the time.

Penn went on to become a leading man, starring in such classics as Flag Day, Daddio and The Angry Birds Movie, though also developed a taste for progressive politics. As such, the diminutive 64-year-old is allowed to breathe rarified legislative air, rubs shoulders with the likes of Ukraine’s Volodymyr Zelenskyy and counts President Joe Biden’s son Hunter as a close and personal friend.

The troubled first boy has been in the news, of late, thanks to the sweeping pardon he received from his father, absolving him of any and all crimes he may have and did commit during a ten year period.

Whilst Republicans feigned outrage at ill-gotten gain, forgetting dear Jared Kushner et. al. and Democrats clutched their pearls, Penn boldly defended the Hunter, declaring, “Any father that didn’t do that would have been remiss. I don’t know if I want to have a beer with somebody who wouldn’t have pardoned Hunter Biden, being their son.”

He added, “In part because I am close with (Hunter), I have studied the case. And while there are technicalities within one of the cases that are associated with illegality, there is almost no precedent at all for the aggression with which he was charged.”

Hunter Biden, it must be noted, made $11 million during five of those forgiven years by sitting on the board of “a Ukrainian firm accused of bribery and his work with a Chinese businessman now accused of fraud,” according to NBC.

Technicalities associated with illegality, I suppose.

Ultra-hard surf candy.

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Shane Durian
Shane Durian
1 year ago

This is so stupid. The younger Biden needed to just take his lumps instead of letting his daddy undermine the rule of law. So daddy rescues him and makes Trump’s outrageous partisan pardoning look more reasonable. The fruits of senility

LONGBEACH4417
LONGBEACH4417
1 year ago

Ain’t your fault man. It’s ok

LONGBEACH4417
LONGBEACH4417
1 year ago

Guy was born in Santa Monica and has been indoctrinated since birth. Can’t even blame him at this point. “Give me four years to teach the children and the seed I have sown will never be uprooted”

Mike
Mike
1 year ago

CCR plagiarist

Capt Sensible
Capt Sensible
1 year ago

Can you political types take your jousting somewhere else, it’s like a kook fest.

Happy Camper
Happy Camper
1 year ago

in other fun criminal news, Vaccine researcher Peter Hotez says “multiple viruses will be unleashed on America the day after Trump takes office”
“We have some big picture stuff coming down the pike starting on January 21st.”

Anyone remember when Fauci on January 11th, said: ‘No doubt’ Trump will face surprise infectious disease outbreak? That was 9 days before Trump was sworn in.

here we go again. get your face diapers ready.

Brutus
Brutus
1 year ago
Reply to  Happy Camper

I think the bullshit virus is spreading quite nicely ……but follow truth media and all will be cured!

Happy Camper
Happy Camper
1 year ago
Reply to  Brutus

it was on MSNBC and Bloomberg Media

Fig Jam
Fig Jam
1 year ago
Reply to  Brutus

Get the real deal from Rebel News. It’s kosher.

M.
M.
1 year ago
Reply to  Happy Camper

Haha… Getting started early on the excuses. It’s like you’re expecting Donny to be a fuck up.

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
1 year ago

someone dig us out of this septic tank…Hunter? naw~

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
1 year ago

It’s a Steeley Dan weekend…hiring? https://youtu.be/tEMnug2-VjM?si=9C3Yktwj3sUUHn5z

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
1 year ago

Are these guys in training for the men’s division of this seasons side-boob comp ?
P.S.
What division will Sasha be in ?
Would it be cheating if he/she (or any other he/she’s) went in the men’s after having enlargements ?

Happy Camper
Happy Camper
1 year ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

I’m entering the masters division.

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
1 year ago
Reply to  Happy Camper

olympic’s in SoCal. scary~

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
1 year ago
Reply to  Happy Camper

bater’s

Happy Camper
Happy Camper
1 year ago

based on 2014-2017 bank records for Hunter and his many shell companies as provided to:
House Committee on Oversight and Accountability
Romania ~ over $3 million
China ~ over $8 million
Kazakhstan ~ $142,300 (for a new car for Hunter)
Ukraine ~ $6.5 million.
Russia ~ $3.5 million

Looks like being an unskilled crackhead son of a U.S. Vice President pays almost as good as being a marginally talented political activist actor.

Problem for Hunter and Daddy Joe is now Hunter cannot claim the 5th when testifying to Congress, and if he doesn’t answer questions he will be held in contempt and if he lies he will be charged with perjury. Joe’s gonna have to pardon brother Jim soon, who’s bilking of governments goes back to Iraq 2010.
Break out the popcorn. This film’s about to get real fun.

c4
c4
1 year ago
Reply to  Happy Camper

Nah I’m saving my popcorn for the hearing on alcoholic rapist Pete Hegseth.

Happy Camper
Happy Camper
1 year ago
Reply to  c4

You gonna wait a long time.
His fellow employees said the alcohol things is “Horse Shit”….and a star as the rape thing goes, the DA need pursued charges because the investigation proved that the supposed victim was lying, based on eyewitnesses.

So, may as well eat the popcorn now and go surf.

c4
c4
1 year ago
Reply to  Happy Camper

lol, even the people at Fox News said he would show up for his morning show there smelling like booze. He’s headed for having his own show over at rumble with all the other Fox News rejects.

Happy Camper
Happy Camper
1 year ago
Reply to  c4

Who?
you got names, because his fellow anchors say it’s “Horse Shit”.

Why you guys always try to deflect? The article is about Hunter, as was my comment, and you bring up Hegseth.
Hunter selling access to the V.P. and shaking down other countries is a lot different than a war hero who drinks a bit too much….and as far as the Rape allegation goes:
The police didn’t file charges against Hegseth, and the latest twist is that it may be because she made a similar accusation against another man.
“As part of our investigation, we received credible information indicating that she may have made a similar false allegation against another man in the past and the DA may have relied upon this as part of their determination, in addition to other witnesses who contradicted her story.”

Dems trying to Kavanaugh, Hegseth.

c4
c4
1 year ago
Reply to  Happy Camper

As far as the “Biden Crime family” Ukraine nonsense goes the Republicans tried as hard as they could to find something they did wrong and they came up with nothing.

The Fox News employees aren’t willing to go on record with their names because they’ll obviously get fired.

Happy Camper
Happy Camper
1 year ago
Reply to  c4

False.
The House Ways and Means committee questioned Hunter and proved he was lying. However, Joe Bidens Justice Department failed to charge Hunter with perjury. https://waysandmeans.house.gov/2024/05/22/ways-and-means-committee-releases-evidence-showing-hunter-biden-lied-under-oath-during-recent-congressional-testimony/

Now, under a new Justice Dept. and Hunters pardon, he will be called before congress and has to tell the truth or face perjury charges.

So “anonymous sources” make claims against Hegseth when Trump taps him the be the Defense Secretary, but they will not go on the record.
In America, we have the right to face our accusers. Anyone who wants to make a claim against another person should have the balls to go on the record. After all, there’d be a job at CNN or MSNBC waiting for them.

Oh wait, Late Breaking News: Anonymous Sources claim C4 is a Pedophile Drag Queen who’s into golden showers and rapes barnyard animals. Must be true. Anonymous Sources said so.

c4
c4
1 year ago
Reply to  Happy Camper

Ok we’ll see how the hearing goes then.

pipspuss
pipspuss
1 year ago
Reply to  Happy Camper

Poor little goats 😔

Brutus
Brutus
1 year ago
Reply to  Happy Camper

don’t forget about donny’s 237 pardoned criminals….perspective????

Happy Camper
Happy Camper
1 year ago
Reply to  Brutus

yep, that was like 20% of the crooks Obama pardoned.

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
1 year ago
Reply to  c4

turned HSU into a ametime accedamy

Brutus
Brutus
1 year ago
Reply to  Happy Camper

yeah I can’t believe that Matt Gaetz was hassled also!

Happy Camper
Happy Camper
1 year ago
Reply to  Brutus

come to the light.

Brutus
Brutus
1 year ago
Reply to  Happy Camper

yeah whats wrong with a bloke rooting an underage girl with the other girl watching , I mean FFS isn’t rape now a national sport in the US ?, asking for a horny friend …

Happy Camper
Happy Camper
1 year ago
Reply to  Brutus

investigated by the FBI for three years. No charges filed.
if the Biden DOJ found any evidence…they would have certainly put Gaetz in jail.

Gwen Walz’s Eyes
Gwen Walz’s Eyes
1 year ago
Reply to  c4

Do you like the smell of a town burning coming through your open window?

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
1 year ago
Reply to  c4

that’s you’re first mistake…you only get two~

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
1 year ago
Reply to  c4

joy! joy! naw!

pipspuss
pipspuss
1 year ago
Reply to  Happy Camper

Who is going to greenlight a 3 movie deal?? Jimmy, Joey and Hunter on the run. Who plays Joe and Hunter??

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
1 year ago

Sean penn 28!!
Hunter president of vice

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
1 year ago

Rules for us and rules for the others. Also, had to burn some Torquay fuckwit twice last night in waves of conequence because he couldn’t count and went for a wave after paddling for the previous one!
Cunts!
Xox

deeks
deeks
1 year ago
Reply to  Dogsnuts

I’m hoping it was the Galbraith cunt if he’s STILL doing it. Or it could be . . . Ah I couldn’t be fucked the list is long

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
1 year ago
Reply to  deeks

Fuckheads from Torquay don’t know the etiquette as they let their region turn into a fake zoo.
Xox

Sean Connery
Sean Connery
1 year ago

Of course they are friends. They finger paint together in the boo. This one of a kind holiday colab they did is still for sale. Christmas is coming.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

Occ Topus
Occ Topus
1 year ago

Oh noes… Sean Penn won’t have a beer with me. There go my weekend plans. 😔

ricmatic
ricmatic
1 year ago

technicalities associated with illegality
technicalities associated with illegality
technicalities associated with illegality

it keeps getting dumber

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
1 year ago
Reply to  ricmatic

fortune cookie says: there will be another fortune cookie…

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
1 year ago
Reply to  ricmatic

dylan went electric and why abuse me?

JohnsKnees
JohnsKnees
1 year ago
Reply to  Noncompetitor

Are any of them surf adjacent?

Noncompetitor
Noncompetitor
1 year ago
Reply to  JohnsKnees

Michael Flynn surfs Ruggles, Rhode Island

Rocks local
Rocks local
1 year ago
Reply to  Noncompetitor

rumor had it that Flynn was the real deal in the water

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
1 year ago

Glad a Hollywood celebrity has cleared that up for us all.

Panda's sack rash
Panda's sack rash
1 year ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

Film Actors Guild

Mads Naeraa
Mads Naeraa
1 year ago
Reply to  NEGATRON
NEGATRON
NEGATRON
1 year ago
Reply to  Mads Naeraa

Love that man!

Mads Naeraa
Mads Naeraa
1 year ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

That one is particularly good, I reckon

JohnsKnees
JohnsKnees
1 year ago

My wiiiife (Borat voice) flew Sean Penn and said he was the biggest dick of all time. Also mentioned he got all pissed off when told “no, you cannot smoke in a private jet.”

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
1 year ago
Reply to  JohnsKnees

Pilot? Your Wife got any other cockpit stories? preferably the ones she didn’t tell you.

JohnsKnees
JohnsKnees
1 year ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

Not if she wants to stay in America

Happy Camper
Happy Camper
1 year ago
Reply to  JohnsKnees

yep, he is a bit of a waifish little prick.
Met him a few times.
Assholio.

Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
1 year ago

Fuck you, Chas. How can you leave out Chicken Joe?!? And the most fictional surf character of them all: 2x world champion Felipe Toledo, Chicken Joe’s distant cousin.

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
1 year ago

Ok, four.

Happy Camper
Happy Camper
1 year ago

Love Chicken Joe. we were just watching Surfs Up this last weekend.
Big Zeke rules.

I was thinking Chas missed something with the exclusion of Leroy the Masochist.

janeausten
janeausten
1 year ago
Reply to  Happy Camper

..and Jack Barlow, and Waxer, and the Bear, and the point Grinder.
as has been quoted;
When it comes to “Big Wednesday” I feel Quentin Tarantino put it best when he said “I don’t like surfers. I grew up in a surfing community and I thought surfers were jerks. I love Big Wednesday so much. Surfers don’t deserve this movie.”


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