Hunky surf instructor Armando Perez (pictured) ghosting Ellie Goulding.
Hunky surf instructor Armando Perez (pictured) ghosting Ellie Goulding.

Surf instructor blasted for doing chanteuse Ellie Goulding dirty

"This next song is about when somebody gets scared when someone goes too deep and they kind of back off and it's like you've been ghosted."

The rise of the surf instructor will certainly be one of 2024’s defining marks as this year of the wood dragon draws to a close. Yes, it is wild to think we have less than thirty days until the beginning of 2025, which will be filled with its very own storylines, but we are not there yet and so back to surf instructors we go.

Folk continued the learn-to-surf craze, first popularized in 2020, hiring many and varied surf instructors across the globe, industry legends like Jamie O’Brien got into the game, launching eponymous learn-to-surf schools and famous chanteuses fell head over heels in love with hunky instructors.

Hot for teacher.

But all daisies and tulips?

Maybe not, according to English singer/songwriter Ellie Goulding. The 37-year-old was recently playing a show in Austria when she declared, “This next song is about when somebody gets scared when someone goes too deep and they kind of back off and it’s like you’ve been ghosted. Has anyone been ghosted? Who has been ghosted? What the [expletive]. Sorry for the kids! I’m so sorry, What the duck, which is what I say around my child. What the ducking duck. So this song is more relevant than ever.”

Attention immediately turned to the Costa Rican surf instructor hunk Armando Perez who had been linked to Goulding for months.

It must also be noted that Perez taught surfing to Shakira as well.

Anyhow, the toothsome twenty-something apparently stopped returning texts and calls though still appears to be open for business, as it were. His website reading:

Hello my name is Armando and I have been surfing since I was a child. The waves of Playa Hermosa are my home and I am a very good host. As a surf instructor I will lead you step by step to the line-up and guarantee you at least one “wave of the day”. Together we read the sea until you understand it for yourself.

(Book here).

Back to the question at hand, though, has anyone, here, been ghosted?

Who has been ghosted?

Anyone?

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
guest
35 Comments
Newest
Oldest Most Voted
justiceminister
justiceminister
1 year ago

Won’t be in the job long that bloke being way behind the point of entry. Bunk goes lunk.

Stick man
Stick man
1 year ago

Shakira your hips!

channelbottom
channelbottom
1 year ago

Lie, they do not.

deeks
deeks
1 year ago

Hello armando my name is cuntox and I’ll bring you pain in a step by step method guaranteeing you never surf instruct again.
Yours sincerely Cuntox

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
1 year ago

bitch is late-skating with my fries and double cheesese burger! seven-op large! comment image?_nc_cat=108&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=127cfc&_nc_ohc=Nr5RyHzo9kEQ7kNvgEl-pm5&_nc_zt=23&_nc_ht=scontent-sjc3-1.xx&_nc_gid=ADFVp9-F2amTsd7xci1kU6_&oh=00_AYDJerXHIz4sw_WCme7KCSEbASutw29bsXajHjD479H8Dw&oe=675446FA

toofattosurf
toofattosurf
1 year ago

cavvy the ghostest of all time…

SaltyHB
SaltyHB
1 year ago
Reply to  channelbottom
channelbottom
channelbottom
1 year ago
channelbottom
channelbottom
1 year ago

Funny you should mention that because my son is named Shakira Bathymetry Cowabunga the Third.

Mapski
Mapski
1 year ago

Then Shakira Slater it is.

Bonesister
Bonesister
1 year ago

You. By Ashton Goggons

channelbottom
channelbottom
1 year ago

There’s this pub, or ‘hotel’ as the call them, here in Australia (the law says they have to supply rooms for drunks etc) on The Rocks in Sydney. Famous spot. Colonial blah blah.

Anyway this pub, The Lord Nelson. Very old place. Back in the ’70s I think it was, the owner had a dog. He loved that dog. All the patrons did too. Can’t remember it’s name. Lovely creature by all accounts.

One day the dog was running around as usual and got hit by a passing ute. Tragic. Everyone was gutted. Very sad day for the community.

But a few years later just after closing time on a Dark-n-Stormy Night™, the dog reappeared, without a tail. Out of the gloom of the harbour light, this dog, a ghost dog, appeared.

You see the owner had loved the dog so much he’d had it’s tail removed from the battered corpse and had it preserved and put in a frame over the bar.

But there it was, this ghost dog, insistantly wagging it’s arse at the owner and barking, turning in circles. After a while the pub owner, once recovered from his shock realised what the dog wanted. He looked at the frame, and then at his watch and shook his head.

He said “Ah look mate, I love you to bits. We’ve all missed you heaps. But it’s 10:30 and I can’t legally retail spirits.”

Com Turren
Com Turren
1 year ago
Reply to  channelbottom

bravo

Happy Camper
Happy Camper
1 year ago
Reply to  channelbottom

“The Lord Then Gave Us Thy Forth”

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
1 year ago
Reply to  Happy Camper

attenbourgrough v porsche rossi? need cameras~cavemen

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
1 year ago
Reply to  channelbottom

dss&s can book that room for you~the roadhouse backroom!

SaltyHB
SaltyHB
1 year ago
Reply to  channelbottom
Gil Gunderson
Gil Gunderson
1 year ago

This! This is the obscurity we stay for. British pop star playing a gig in Austria maybe referencing a Costa Rican surf instructor.

How good is life!!

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
1 year ago

Wiggs ghosted us all!
Xox

channelbottom
channelbottom
1 year ago
Reply to  Dogsnuts

that cunt…

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
1 year ago
Reply to  channelbottom

Full cunt hey ☺️
Xox

channelbottom
channelbottom
1 year ago
Reply to  Dogsnuts

I miss him.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
1 year ago

Parking hell, theres no parking parking!

justiceminister
justiceminister
1 year ago

Surf instructors in the new world of surfing are going to be the new Beatles. Changing perceptions of the world that used to be.

Happy Camper
Happy Camper
1 year ago

The Surfing Instructors
great name for a boy band

justiceminister
justiceminister
1 year ago
Reply to  Happy Camper

Kellys unnamed baby boo can be the lead singer. I wish they all could be unnamed California girls.

Sean Connery
Sean Connery
1 year ago

I was getting ghosted long before ghosting was even a thing.

Com Turren
Com Turren
1 year ago

by definition though, there cannot be more than one wave of the day per day.

mike m
mike m
1 year ago
Reply to  Com Turren

Everyone’s definition of wave of the day would be somewhat different, so you and your buddy could still get the wave of the day….unless Jamie’s there, then you’ll get snaked out of your wave of the day and your buddy too.

Com Turren
Com Turren
1 year ago
Reply to  mike m

in the Islands, sure. but he’s getting roasted worse than Joan of Arc if he starts back paddling folks in my neck of the woods

channelbottom
channelbottom
1 year ago
Reply to  Com Turren

“I’m a lumberjack…”
etc.

Com Turren
Com Turren
1 year ago
Reply to  channelbottom

Joan of Arc was also a lumberjack? A girl after me own heart, to be certain.

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
1 year ago
Reply to  Com Turren

That had me too but then I got to thinking about Owen Wright and Cloudbreak.

Com Turren
Com Turren
1 year ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

that’s merely Wright of the day though, the waves notwithstanding.


35
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x