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A film depiction of "cocaine taking."

Australian Olympic surf team “The Irukandjis” make gargantuan blunder, cede mantle of rebelliousness to 36-year-old cocaine-snorting equestrian showjumper!

Big blow.

In a stunning blow to surfing’s reputation as “rebellious” and “cool style,” Australia’s Olympic surf team The Irukandjis,” whose motto is “Deadly in the water™”, has allowed a 36-year-old equestrian showjumper to get kicked out of the Tokyo Games after testing positive for cocaine.

Victoria’s Jamie Kermond said the result was likely due a “single recreational use of the drug” at a social event that had no connection with showjumping and added, “I am extremely upset and remorseful as to what has happened and I accept full responsibility. I am truly sorry as I have let a lot of people down including my family and team mates. Hopefully one day I can be forgiven for my mistake (and make) amends through better actions and continued contribution to the sport I know and love.”

Kermond, pictured, throwing shakas and grabbing surfing's cool. (courtesy facebook)
Kermond, Pictured, Throwing Shakas And Grabbing Surfing&Rsquo;S Cool. (Courtesy Facebook)

Cocaine’s relationship with surfing is well-established (buy here), and ceding the mantle of “punk” and “rock ‘n’ roller” to the horse world has been described as a “gargantuan blunder.”

Kermond was a three-time Australian showjumping champion, though his selection was scrutinized as he was 1013th on the rankings but had connections to one of the two men picking the team and was sponsored by his horse nutrition company.

Very cool, but back to the “single recreational use of the drug.” Is that common at a party feat. cocaine?

More as the story develops.

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Mapski

Warren Oates?

piss brohoff

Big Wednesday, can’t remember which character, though

Kennypowersmullet

Just one sniff is never enough

ValiantScorn

Feminist! Show me the ass cheeks, or get bent.

channelbottom

I like the fact that he wore his best equestrian slippahs for the photo.

Gil Gunderson

#Cokeduphorseguy is probably a better chance for a medal than the jellyfish 🏅

Low wide stinkbug stance

Fuck, who wears a belt with shorts? Add white socks and he’s a queensland taxi driver.

channelbottom

Mr Ed was actually a zebra, IRL.
Just sayin’.
Don’t cancel me.

toaster redux

They should kick him out regardless for tucking his shirt into those fucken shorts

janeausten

…he’s got a real golf vibe going there, hasn’t he.

James Bickerton

Or a genetic defect ?

James Bickerton

Crime against humanity !

AI (for ever) .

Surfers are rebellious?
The most rebellious thing a surfer nowadays would do is order an long black over a flat white.

Pauly Matt War-Shore

If I was some horse cunt, I’d be smashing the ketamine. Would have thought it’d be a perk of the job.

Stick man

horse cunt… lol

channelbottom

Apparently it’s good for depression.

Pauly Matt War-Shore
Kelly’s Conspiracies

It’s medicinal bru

ValiantScorn

Quick wit, and an ability to probe.

Andy Aames

The world’s best equestrians on the world’s best horses

Beef & Beer

Dunno if being ranked 1013th would put Jamie Kermond in the “worlds best equestrians” bracket though.
P.S.
However his ‘relationship’ with one of the teams selectors seems to have given him some ‘perks’…

Kelly’s Conspiracies

It’s almost exactly like surfing.

Nonagon_Infinity

horses for courses

Return of the Samsung Board

If by “single recreational use” they mean bashing key bumps in the bar toilet with your boys every 30min then yeah sweet

Beef & Beer

Heaps of the horsey set are into it.
Years ago NZ Olympic gold medal winning rider Mark Todd got caught on video sniffing the stuff off naked stable boys buttocks and then indulging himself in those very same buttocks etc.
He never denied any of it (pretty hard to after being caught on camera), his wife stuck by him (even after the stable boys said it was a regular occurrence), and he carried on competing for many years more, going to a record 7 Olympics (getting medals at most of them) and being declared the world’s best horseman in all history.
Three quarters of the Irukandjis are rank amateurs by comparison…

Return of the Samsung Board

Good cunt ay

It was on the news when I was 6 or so, I asked Mum point blank how two men had sex ha haaaa

Lemon Next to the Pie

Apparently they were just horsing around.

channelbottom

Bareback?

James Bickerton

No just SHOW ( and tell ) Jumping ?

Lemon Next to the Pie

A back-snapping good time.

James Bickerton

As Kiwis , they probably were not all sheepish about getting back on the horse (or the Coke )

Lemon Next to the Pie

We need a campaign; Just say neigh!

James Bickerton

Matthew 7:15
James Version
Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening horse riding olympians …..

NEGATRON

Pure rumours, you were there?

Low wide stinkbug stance

When I was in East Timor, the entire Jordanian peacekeeping team got sent home in disgrace due to fucking goats and getting caught by the locals. Also most (60%) of the Brasilian peacekeepers there caught AIDS from the ‘secret’ Thai knockshop that appeared.

Chief Hot stuff

Thers now an AIDS prophylactic.
Funny how it’s not common knowledge

ValiantScorn

I’ve tried to tell people what I’ve witnessed in the ME, and they don’t believe. Afghan boys just raped to not being able to walk, and animals being moleste(r)ed on the regular. smh

Jack Barlow

Afghanistan is not in the Middle East.
You are too obvious.
Stolen valor

ValiantScorn

It’s one of our theaters of war. I’m not trying to impress you with my Service.

ValiantScorn

You’re trying to stir up something, because you are NOTHING! Stick to your self focused life, and don’t worry about those of US that actually have accomplishments. (patting you on the head) My DD-214′(s) are clear.

Jack Barlow

Video game clown 🤡

ValiantScorn

F you, and the whore you lay with. You’re just another “didn’t do”, trying to make yourself into something.

James Bickerton

Poor Kelly trying to keep peace with the Jordanians …..

Jordy's pout

https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

I found another cool group pic of the Irukandjis

ValiantScorn

Whoa, how much closer can you get? Receding hairlines for all.

Dick Cram
Sellme fitzgobbins

And those photos were a while ago , Blanche is throwing a sneaky sally shaka in the pocket of her nightgown

JohnsKnees

As far as coke goes, I don’t think I’ve ever see someone try 1 line or bump and not try another. Single use my ass.

Wilbur

Almost as bad as Billy Clintons ‘yeah I chuffed the ganja, but I didn’t inhale’?

Dung beetle

As Obama said, I inhaled, cuz that was the point.

Mads Naeraa

Hate to disappoint, but once and done for me.

JohnsKnees

You sound like a quitter.

JohnsKnees

Chas must have spent more than his allowance on that boat trip, trying to shill his book on a story that couldnt’t be further from surfing.

Kelly’s Conspiracies

Couldn’t be further from surfing, yes; but it is quite cozy with cocaine – of which Chas’ book deals with explicitly.

Simsurf

I thought his wife would have paid for everything.

Dogsnuts

Point Break adjacent!

ValiantScorn

I wonder if he considers wrapping .5 gram in toilet paper, and eating it “single recreational use of the drug”!?

Rinse/Repeat

Jack Barlow

I’ve never met a “cool” cokehead and there is nothing rebellious about it.
It’s a clowns drug

Jrilla

Ah you must be an expert on all things cool and drugs related to speak with such vehemence. Pray tell, which drug is the coolest? I really must know for such matters greatly affect the proceedings of my weekend.

Andy Aames

I want whatever E-lo’s on

Kelly’s Conspiracies

Not sure getting pegged by one’s wife is considered a drug in the conventional sense. To each there own I suppose.

Jack Barlow

I recommend you take some LSD

Rich Marx

It’s also a drug that a lot of people do but keep it pretty well hidden.

Personally it doesn’t really do much for me but some people love it.


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