Insightful new profile on Kanoa Igarashi challenges notion that Japan’s golden boy is nothing more than a surfing Stepford Wife!

Dreams within dreams.

There are many understandable critiques of Japan-by-way-of-Huntington-Beach’s Kanoa Igarashi. For one, he celebrates weird, mouth open, screams flowing out neither primal nor deep, arms pumping like a father of the bride dancing to YMCA.

For two, he seems fake and not even a deep fake. Like a robot who was built to be talented and handsome and polite but built too well and therefore never considered because it is clearly artificial.

A surfing Stepford Wife.

And as surfing’s grand Olympic debut draws nearer and nearer, Igarashi has drawn more and more spotlight. I have read many of the interviews, watched too, and never considered anything other than how on message he keeps. Never a slip, never a falter, never a new bit of insight, only perfect flowing from a gleaming white tooth’d mouth… until just now.

In a new and cinematic profile for Outside Magazine, the critically-acclaimed Daniel Duane plunges beneath the plastic veneer and reveals truths that I have never stopped to consider. You must read Is Kanoa Igarashi the LeBron of Surfing? in its entirety but I would like to briefly discuss the notion of Igarashi being only a chimera of his parents dream.

You know the story, Igarashi’s mother and father pursing aerobics careers in Japan, conceive, think “How cool would it be for our child to be a professional surfer?” and fulfill that dream by moving to Huntington Beach, waking Kanoa up at 3:00 am to drive him to surf contests etc.

Igarashi, in the retelling, is only awed by his parents’ sacrifices. There is no bitterness, no frustration about being the vessel for someone else’s fantasy, and regarding this, Duane writes:

One might argue that this particular ship—Kanoa living out Tsutomu’s dream—had sailed quite a long time before. But that would also require admitting that fathers and mothers have been putting their own dreams onto children from time immemorial, that a father could imbue a kid with a dream worse than life as a pro surfer, and that nobody becomes as good of a surfer as Igarashi without an authentic hunger of his own.

Ah, “fathers and mothers putting their dreams onto children from time immemorial” is a good nut and caused me to pause deeply in order to consider my own relationship with dreaming and parenthood. Your own relationship too. The vast majority of parents dream at least something for their children beyond sitting like a blob and recreating TikTok videos and try to push them along the way. How much is too much, though? And what if the parents’ and child’s dream is truly the same?

A dream within a dream like Inception?

What if dreams are actually folded into the DNA?

The chicken/egg business of that can never be solved, but, as it relates to Igarashi, it was the first time in maybe ever that I’ve ever paused and considered really anything at all.

Duane rounds out the profile with a stray thought from Chas Smith, “editor of the heinously irresponsible surf tabloid Beach Grit,” that the Tokyo Games are likely to be the apex for Igarashi. “Because any surfer who is worth his salt and reasonable,” Smith says, “looks at all those Brazilians on tour and realizes he is not ever going to beat those guys and be world champion. I think Kanoa is rightly looking at this moment”—when he will represent Japan in the Olympics, the most-watched sporting event on earth—“and thinking, This is when I can be, honest to goodness, for a few days, the biggest athlete on earth.”

True?

I think yes.

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Surfer knocked off board by ten-foot Great White shark near site of WSL’s Rottnest Island tour event; beaches on tourist island closed!

Come to Rotto, pat a White.

Two weeks after a surfer had his arm “destroyed” by a Great White at Crescent Head and two months after another surfer was killed by a Great White at Tuncurry, a surfer has been knocked off his board by a ten-foot White at Chickens, a reef ledge a couple of bays east of Strickos, site of the WSL’s tour event in May. 

The man, unidentified so far although with that sorta story he’ll be appearing shortly, you’d think, on some sorta tabloid television program, was belted by the White around 12:30 on Monday. 

According to authorities, he was not injured and managed to “safely swim ashore.” 

Now, it ain’t clear whether swim ashore means he left his board in the mouth of the White and fled or he was bumped, regathered equipment and paddled like hell. 

Around the same time an eight-foot bull shark was spotted near the Narrow’s Bridge, way up the Swan River and pretty little Leighton Beach was being patrolled by a shark.

It’s been a quiet year for shark attacks in Western Australia, howevs, unlike last year where three men were killed including surfer Andrew Sharpe, who was disappeared by a Great White.

A local surfer said he was taken “almost whole. The body is just fucking gone.”

Last month, a couple of fisherman were “stalked by an aggressive Great White”, fifteen feet or so, at Rottnest’s Catherine Bay. 

The Great White has been protected in Australian waters since 1999.

Anecdotal evidence suggests numbers have bounced back nicely.

Beaches reopen in a few hours. 

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Nathan Florence, compelling man. Seems pretty nice.

OnlyFans star and brother of US Olympian John John Florence reveals “extreme anxiety”, “why I think about dying” and says he is “sun poisoned” in explicit Reddit Ask-Me-Anything!

"Of course I think about dying, how can you not on some of these swells these days?"

Nathan Florence, just turned twenty-seven and with reddish brown eyes like dried blood, is the most interesting of the Florence pack, as evidenced by his recent foray onto the controversial subscription service mainly used by hookers and porn models. 

Recently, Nathan appeared on a Reddit AMA, an interactive interview where celebs or whatever answer fans’ questions in real time.

His answers, as always, are striking. 

How many days a week do you train outside of surfing when it’s not pumping? What do you primarily focus on during your workouts? Side question: what is your plan for your OnlyFans? I think a few in here are genuinely curious why we should pay to view your content?

I train in gym five days a week, two active rest days, swimming, diving, rowing, foiling, cycling activities for active rest. I program very hard mentally taxing workouts crossfit-based primarily. Willpower is everything in big waves IMO. Training with intensity where you start thinking “I can’t finish no way I can” but the other side of your mind says “We have no option but to continue”. This is major in pushing myself mentally in the bigger stuff, huge in overcoming bad incidents, and builds willpower in an epic way! I will be doing more in-depth videos on this on my new Coaching channel. I supplement that type of training with pure strength-based power lifting, deadlifts, squats, Olympic lifting, heavy and less reps, this to me is the best preparation for surfing and injury prevention.

How long do you think you can continuously paddle straight?

Five or six hours, maybe more

If you couldn’t be a pro surfer what career would you want?

I love trading and writing but I think would have given cross-fit or endurance type sport a go! I love that stuff. I am naturally a good swimmer would have loved to try for pro, alas I am not six-five. Ha!

How long is an average session for you?

If the waves are firing, four-to-six hours I will stay out

If waves are just fun and average, one-to-two hours

If waves are bad I try to give it at least an hour!

Sometimes it’s just not worth getting frustrated over though, haha! I’ve called it after one or two waves many times.

Next time you charge big Mavs, would you consider surfing big OB (Ocean Beach, San Francisco)? Would love to see my local on the vlog and maybe see you in the lineup! Also, where are the Nathan Florence tees?! I have shirts from Koa and Eli!

I’ve been wanting to try OB for so long now! I always get so fried from Mavs though so I never make it! definitely a goal! I can’t do shirts due to contractual obligations for main sponsor Vans! But happy to say I am doing a signature collection with them next year! There will be lightning bolts haha!

Did you go to Kahuku High School?

I did! For two years! I’ll be completely honest with all here, I left high school at eighth grade and gave homeschool an okay effort, then I just stopped. I gave everything to my surfing. I did not graduate. Do I regret it? Almost, I can always get my GED though if I feel it’s necessary.

Your air game has made insane progress. What do you know now that you wish you knew a few years back?

1. It’s going to take time, a lot of it, no matter what! So just expect that!

2. Head position (where you look on take off of air), speed and a wider stand were HUGE learning curves for me!!

3. When learning, wind is your friend! Only going against it or into it. I mean, it makes it so much easier, dude! Trying airs with wind at your back is a no-go for me.

4. There will be frustration. Never in my surfing life did I have so much frustration learning than with air camp.

What’s your least favourite thing about surfing? And favourite?

My favorite is the endless learning no matter what level you are, surfing is forever and has so many faces, so many limits you can push for yourself and, of course, the mindlessness of riding a wave. Hyper focus like that is hard to find! Even John, who is multiple champ and the top of surfing, he is always so excited to learn and practice new things in the water, I love seeing that in people no matter what their level is.

Least favorite is being in the sun so much, I swear I am sun poisoned you guys, I cover up so much but genetically just get wrecked that and fighting a tombstoning board while another wave is landing on you I hate that! I seem to have found a couple fixes for that and think it will save many a lot of needless energy expenditure, doing more in depth vids like that on my coaching channel

How do you feel about an average surfer taking waves in a lineup? Have found myself in a line up with pros and even when I have priority always feel like I should leave it for one of you guys to do something better with than the weak turns I’m about to do…

I say no way, go for the waves if you can catch and surf them! Only time is when wave is far above your level and you know your prob going to fall, for instance. If I have priority, but am not in a good position to go on the wave, I will tell someone else to go who is in a better position, not because they are deeper or anything but because I probably won’t make it from my position so why waste it?

What’s your two favorite places you’ve traveled to? One for most fun wave and other for most fun outside of the surf?

West Australia is so damn cool, massive wave diversification, great food, good people, just spooky shark vibe haha! Honestly, I love the points in Mexico on a big south swell! Waves are just so damn fun!!!

What are some strategies for becoming more comfortable in bigger surf?

Comfortability is everything. If you’re comfortable in your body and its toughness it helps mentally to get over that hump of fear that’s why training is so important to me! Willpower is everything… not jumping straight into something you’re extremely uncomfortable with is huge too, slow exposure to bigger and bigger surf is key. Jump into something you’re not ready for and you may be traumatized into never trying again which is not what anybody wants! Know your physical limits.

Who do you honestly think is the coolest out of you and your brothers?

One hundred percent our youngest bro Ivan, I literally call him Mister Cool. If you watch my youtube channel you will see, guy has best style of three of us, he is equally good at skating/surfing/snowboarding.

What is the Hekinbob? Where did it come from? How do I perfect this technique?

I need a Hekinbob OnlyFans tutorial! Dude, this person makes them and sells the creatures. She actually got mad at me for posting and not tagging her. That’s how I found the page. Hekinbob is a seven-thousand-dollar weird baby monster creature thing I saw and couldn’t stop laughing. I can’t find link for you. 

Tips to get cardio up for surfing? Do I just surf a bunch? Run a bunch? I always want to stay out longer but feel that my form gets cruddy after a while when I’m tired. And, what music you listening to these days?

I you have the time, surf more! I tell everyone this, surfing more should be number one on priority! But I get most people don’t have endless time to surf, they freakin work! Swim a lot if you can, if not hit hard high-intensity workouts in gym,. Build your engine, shoulder strength and general fitness. Dude, listen to so much eighties music lately…

What’s your mindset, like, twenty-four hours before going to surf big waves? Do you try and visualise the exact steps you’re going to take or do you try and distract yourself (relieve anxiety or whatever)?

I get extreme anxiety. Adrenaline starts early for me and I utilise it for energy on the big days. I use it to hyper focus in on what I want. I definitely visualise the wave I want. If it’s a big swell, I think about the ride of my life, what it would look like start to finish, every detail. Of course I think about dying, how can you not on some of these swells these days? But the chance at the ride of a lifetime overpowers such thoughts.

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Greatest surfer of all time Kelly Slater reveals plan to launch ethical cryptocurrency in soft announcement ahead of surfing’s debut at Tokyo Olympics!

"We’ll see if there’s something we can do that’s a positive one, and not a fly-by-night coin where people are just trying to make a quick buck overnight…"

While my eyes are yet to be opened to the mysterious world of cryptocurrency, Kelly Slater, the greatest surfer of all time, eleven world titles and counting although no Olympic medals, has devoted himself to the study of digital currency in all its variations.

And, now, just three days before the bunting is loosed and the horns erupt at the opening of the Tokyo Olympics, Slater has threatened to steal the thunder of the Games after revealing his plan to launch a cryptocurrency.

It wouldn’t be any ol cryptocurrency, either.

Like his surfwear brand Outerknown and a wood recycling company he’s bought into, Slater’s digital currency will be a capitalist enterprise with a conscience.

“I’ve started reaching out to people in the crypto world who make these things. We’ll see if there’s something we can do that’s a positive one, and not a fly-by-night coin where people are just trying to make a quick buck overnight,” the almost-fifty-year-old Slater told The Gentleman’s Journal in an interview ostensibly about his eco-watch collaboration with Breitling, the device strapped onto the wearer’s wrist with “a recycled ECONYL nylon strap.”

Slater adds, “I think it’s interesting to have a currency – a storage of value – that isn’t controlled by a CEO or a government… It’s an exciting, rare time for people to do their investing themselves… I do hope that Bitcoin is more widely accepted by different industries and people and money managers, and it seems like it’s going in that direction… At the same time, it seems like there’s people coming in who aren’t in it for its purpose… it seems to me there’s some manipulation going on with it and I’m afraid that’s what happens with stocks and companies in that way.”

Elsewhere in the interview, Slater talks about his blood feud over crypto with Elon Musk (“Does he have an issue with kids mining cobalt in the Democratic Republic of Congo to build batteries?”), as well as plastics in the ocean.

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Actor and new Malibu local Jonah Hill cements position as “Patron Saint of VALs” with release of first epic surf short!

La dolce decadenza.

I am sitting in the premium lounge in Rome’s Fiumicino airport, very near to Ostia where the great Suburra: Blood on Rome was set, drinking fine espressos, eating miniature hotdogs, listening to Andrew WK, pushing absurd decadence to its absolute and final limit.

Flying soon a changed man.

But before I board, we must revel in actor famous for playing sexless butterballs and new Malibu local Jonah Hill’s transition into the Patron Saint of VALs.

Who could have seen this coming?

But surfing is glorious in this way, perpetually surprising, and now Hill has his own surf short, a necessary accomplishment for any favorite.

Watch.

Enjoy.

La dolce decadenza.

UNCLE JOEY from 88 Surfboards on Vimeo.

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