Greatest surfer of all time Kelly Slater reveals plan to launch ethical cryptocurrency in soft announcement ahead of surfing’s debut at Tokyo Olympics!

"We’ll see if there’s something we can do that’s a positive one, and not a fly-by-night coin where people are just trying to make a quick buck overnight…"

While my eyes are yet to be opened to the mysterious world of cryptocurrency, Kelly Slater, the greatest surfer of all time, eleven world titles and counting although no Olympic medals, has devoted himself to the study of digital currency in all its variations.

And, now, just three days before the bunting is loosed and the horns erupt at the opening of the Tokyo Olympics, Slater has threatened to steal the thunder of the Games after revealing his plan to launch a cryptocurrency.

It wouldn’t be any ol cryptocurrency, either.

Like his surfwear brand Outerknown and a wood recycling company he’s bought into, Slater’s digital currency will be a capitalist enterprise with a conscience.

“I’ve started reaching out to people in the crypto world who make these things. We’ll see if there’s something we can do that’s a positive one, and not a fly-by-night coin where people are just trying to make a quick buck overnight,” the almost-fifty-year-old Slater told The Gentleman’s Journal in an interview ostensibly about his eco-watch collaboration with Breitling, the device strapped onto the wearer’s wrist with “a recycled ECONYL nylon strap.”

Slater adds, “I think it’s interesting to have a currency – a storage of value – that isn’t controlled by a CEO or a government… It’s an exciting, rare time for people to do their investing themselves… I do hope that Bitcoin is more widely accepted by different industries and people and money managers, and it seems like it’s going in that direction… At the same time, it seems like there’s people coming in who aren’t in it for its purpose… it seems to me there’s some manipulation going on with it and I’m afraid that’s what happens with stocks and companies in that way.”

Elsewhere in the interview, Slater talks about his blood feud over crypto with Elon Musk (“Does he have an issue with kids mining cobalt in the Democratic Republic of Congo to build batteries?”), as well as plastics in the ocean.

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snapper
snapper
5 years ago

Well this is even a better spotlight stealer than squelching Adriano’s world title giggles 13 hours later. He’s not in the Olympics….the only way Kelly can retribute. “You can’t script this.”

Stick man
Stick man
5 years ago

Slate Grit

Low wide stinkbug stance
Low wide stinkbug stance
5 years ago

Please someone wake up Ben and get his opinion on this.

Occ Topus
Occ Topus
5 years ago

No. Leave Marcunt alone in his own dimension, where he belongs.

Keith Grace
Keith Grace
5 years ago

It’s just so sad.

ValiantScorn
ValiantScorn
5 years ago

Internet trophy*

ValiantScorn
ValiantScorn
5 years ago

He’s always around Indonesian people.

ValiantScorn
ValiantScorn
5 years ago

The best thing you can do is start a garden, and start storing dry foods/ammo.(That’s ammunition for firearms Australians) By the time everybody is realizing they’re being had, we’ll already be in a World War. I don’t care, I’ve had a good go.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago
Reply to  ValiantScorn

We’ve only got nerf guns.

Keith Grace
Keith Grace
5 years ago
Reply to  ValiantScorn

“By the time everybody is realizing they’re being had, we’ll already be in a World War.”
bingo

toaster redux
toaster redux
5 years ago

just when I think he couldn’t be a bigger cunt…

AI (for ever) .
AI (for ever) .
5 years ago
Reply to  toaster redux

Have you noticed the more he talks the less he wins?
He was clearly muzzled by the system for an 11 years and sold as the star now his opening up they have stopped pushing him though heats

Ricky Spanish
Ricky Spanish
5 years ago

For fucks sake Kelly, please just shut up and retire already. These attempts to stay relevant are fucking embarrassing.

Occ Topus
Occ Topus
5 years ago
Reply to  Ricky Spanish

Truer words were never spoken.

Firelipe Torpedo
Firelipe Torpedo
5 years ago

So I’ve been listening to Jaws on audiobook and I’m pissed! Hooper, that fucking snake in the grass, banged Brody’s whore wife in motel a few miles down the beach while Brody busts his ass trying to keep people from being eaten. Not finished yet but I’m hoping hooper gets eaten and doesn’t get to share a debris raft with Brody while they kick off into the sunset like in the movie.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago

I read it when I was 12 and always wondered what
Sonofabitch was
I pronounced it sono fabitch
Only Brody makes it, Soz

Professor Ski Lodge
Professor Ski Lodge
5 years ago

This will go as well as his tilt at a 12th world title…

RQ.
RQ.
5 years ago

this timeline is fuuuuuuuuuucked.

channelbottom
channelbottom
5 years ago

FUCK! THAT’S IT DAMMIT.

HURLULEY IS GOING TO START A CRYPTO!

WHO’S IN!?!?!!?

channelbottom
channelbottom
5 years ago

Considering the energy use and the reliance on advanced technology (industrial processes, slave labour, environmental degradation etc etc.)
the is no such thing as a truly ‘ethical crypto currency’.

B grade
B grade
5 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

As far as ethics goes, I think work of state cryptocurrency is less damaging than the world bank. It may not be as secure as the federal banking system but it offers a more even playing field that is more likely to lead to a more ethical economy. Maybe more tube time .

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
5 years ago

I think he’s looking for somewhere to wash his green.

JohnsKnees
JohnsKnees
5 years ago

I was gonna photoshop Kelly into all of them and then I realized they kind of look like him https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

bob
bob
5 years ago

I’m weak I’ll leave it to the pro commentors to name it properly.
* Kelly koin
* FTWSL
* POOLZ

channelbottom
channelbottom
5 years ago
Reply to  bob

PURPCOIN

JohnsKnees
JohnsKnees
5 years ago
Reply to  bob

Baldcoin

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago
Reply to  bob

POSCOIN

Mapski
Mapski
5 years ago
Reply to  bob

Name it after Vietnams currency, the Dong.

toaster redux
toaster redux
5 years ago
Reply to  Mapski

My wife had a great time in Viet when sh was paying for her endless shopping saying “I’ll just get my dong out” or ” Do you prefer dong?” She thought it was fucken hilarious.

Jimmy the Saint
Jimmy the Saint
5 years ago
Reply to  bob

CarbonCoin

Urchin Sepsis
Urchin Sepsis
5 years ago
Reply to  bob

Kelly Kult Koin

Turtle
Turtle
5 years ago
Reply to  bob

Outerkoin

Travis Edgar
Travis Edgar
5 years ago
Reply to  bob

Bobcoin…seeing as though he is a Roberto? …Bitsandbobs coin?

Low wide stinkbug stance
Low wide stinkbug stance
5 years ago
Reply to  bob

Sure Pound?


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