ABC sets honey trap for surfers!
I watched the sun peek over Ischia, bathing the isle in pink, exactly at the same moment as steam rose from the Bialetti in the galley.
La dolce buon tempismo.
We had anchored, overnight, in a delicate cove directly under a fine hotel and thermal spa where Andrew, the fine trunk maker, has a cousin getting married and we will drop him here.
I ambled down the companionway, poured a cup and swayed on the gentle rock.
Ah, love.
Is there any finer thing in this whole glorious world?
Michelin-starred meals, grotto swims in perfectly-temperatured water, heeling as the wind pushes forward, tiramisu after Michelin-starred meals are all wonderful things but nothing compared to love and especially the love of a radiant wife?
No there is not and I am the luckiest man in the world having that one thing and could happily survive on that one thing.
I suppose it is wonderful, then, that ABC television has revealed that former Bachelor, Bachelorette, stars will appear on this summer’s The Ultimate Surfer with the purpose of sparking this wonderful love.
Industry blog ScreenRant reports, “The show is about finding the best surfers, but that doesn’t mean there won’t be romance in the air,” and thus Mike Johnson, who was once in the running to be the Bachelor, and Hannah Ann Sluss, who once attempted to woo a Bachelor, will be injected into a cast featuring Luke Davis, Anastasia Ashley and more QS-to-low-QS surfers.
Johnson has since written a book about his experiences.
Sluss has a robust Instagram presence.
Exciting and will one of our own find their soulmate while living in a trailer right off Kelly Slater’s eponymous artificial wave?
Will Kelly Slater himself be tempted?
La dolce tentazione?
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And to those who object to Kelly getting involved in this show, going back to the 1990s there was an ethic among Brock and Kelly and Chesser and those dudes that the better you were at something, the bigger dork you could allow yourself to be.
It was kind of a cool guy “Fuck you” in a sense. That the ultimate cool is to do what you want and not give a stuff what anyone thinks.
Even if it’s kinda lame, like Baywatch. Or whatever.
Because everyone is pretty much equally full of beans. Especially in the surfing world.
Go watch Kelly surf Honolua again. Or Backdoor.
Kelly has done the impossible and slayed all his dragons and breathed life back into them and slayed them again. He can do whatever the frick he wants – including a dumbass reality show – and if you don’t like it, you can go piss up a rope.
Remember what Tony Hawk said: “Never underestimate the power of television.”
The X Games blew up Tony’s career when he was almost ready to throw in the towel and get a real job.
Who knows what this dopy reality show will do for Surf Ranch and it’s spawn.
Brand building, baby.
There’s no such thing as bad publicity these days: Ask Trump. Ask Musk.
I actually rate this way above the Olympic Games and the small wave world tour championships
So mailboxes are parking meters now?
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TB reacting to the news
A movie reviewer I contacted online reckoned Warren Oates should have portrayed Cliff Booth as he is fully fleshed out in the novelization of 𝑂𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑈𝑝𝑜𝑛 𝑎 𝑇𝑖𝑚𝑒 𝑖𝑛 𝐻𝑜𝑙𝑙𝑦𝑤𝑜𝑜𝑑.
Because the fleshed-out novelization Cliff Booth was an absolute killer during World War II and as a civilian was someone who didn’t hesitate about killing people he thought needed killin’.
It would be illuminating to put that question past Tarantino: Who would he have cast as Rick Dalton and Cliff Booth by decade?
So the movie reviewer thought Warren Oates would be good and maybe he’s right, because the real Cliff Booth would wear his stress and guilt on his face.
Brad Pitt was way too pretty and relaxed and clean-conscienced in the movie version. He fully deserved the Oscar but still in a way was mis-cast, if you’re going by the book version.
So 𝑞𝑢𝑖𝑒𝑛 𝑒𝑠 𝑚𝑎𝑠 𝐶𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑓 𝐵𝑜𝑜𝑡ℎ: Robert Mitchum or Warren Oates?
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Or check out Jack Palance circa 1954: That is the face and aura of Cliff Booth.
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Cool, thanks for the tip
Just downloaded it.
Oates looks like Poopies
And when Rick asks Cliff how many men he’s killed and he counts, says… sixteen. And then the passage about killing a hog to feel the transition between life and death. A very good book.
It really is a very good book.
And you get the back story on the dog.
Do you agree Brad Pitt was miscast based on the book version?
He’s too pretty and his soul is too clean.
The Drop is really good, too. I helped that dude connect with P____ M____ and F____ and some of the S____ C_____ dudes but I figured he was another wannabe writer and nothing would come of it.
But noooo, he’s very very good and this might be the second surf book to win a Pulitzer.
Actually he asked him how many Japanese he had killed with a knife, and the answer was 16. All in he killed a lot more than that apparently. Re-reading it now.
Just saw my man Jack on an MST3K episode, love the cross-pollination.
Read the book.
Im watching a bunch of movies because of that book. Watched Don’t Make Waves with Sharon Tate and Tony Curtis and Claudia Cardinale and Jim Backus as himself, because Q mentions it in the book.
Watching Rio Bravo right now, because Cliff Booth didn’t like Dean Martin as a drunk in a western.
In the UK I always understood the law to be that the person striking the animal could not collect it, but anyone else could.
To the helmet-on-bicycle deniers:
https://www.reddit.com/r/in…
Chas holiday journal snips in the guise of intros to stories are coming across very American wankerish I must say
In other words incredibly apropos
Heading to Wyoming. I heard Democrats taste good with a little hot sauce.
Well duhh, did anybody really think just surfing alone would be able to hold the attention of the inland land-locked masses.
‘We’ know just surfing isn’t enough, the Wsl knows it, Dirk, Kelly and Elo know it.
Why else the last ditch effort to add another, shall we say, model, eye candy, element, to get more viewers.
Interestingly lopsided fat camel toe she’s got goin’ on there.
Kinda like a single peewee sized testicle…
Surfers everywhere should rally against this oppressive hetero bias. I bet they’re using third person pronouns too.
What happens if you spear someone at the tub? Do you get kicked out, arrested>>>>>>?
Which dude will backdoor Johnson, with theirs?
You’ll have plenty of time to find your soulmate when you’re living in a van down by the river!
It would be a crime to not inject them
This is good. The lamer this show is, the less cool surfing looks.
I don’t know, surfings looking pretty kooky right now, I’m in a parking lot of a pretty popular reef break, (haven’t been in Cal for awhile), and there’s about 40 people out, got here early and almost every person I saw that paddled out looked like a Val or some type of adult learner, I literally think I saw two kids that were in their teens paddle out–‘no’ stoked looking Groms anywhere. None, Really.
Is this the future, or, the state of the ‘art form’ today?
Have the youth been that turned off by all the exposure and all the Vals in the lineup, they’re just giving up on it, it’s not even rebellious to be a surfer anymore.
It’s scary, these older dudes, all these guys going out, about 97% of them don’t even look like they’ve been surfing for a year or two at the max.
It’s just a whole different scene.
At least in S. Cal.
FUCK THIS IS THE BEST NEWS I’VE HEARD IN AWHILE!!!!!!
That would be me.
Gorgeous day. 2’ with occasional 4’ sets. Offshore.
Crowded as hell.
I cannot even summon the energy to get worked up about not going out.
Haven’t been out in a few months.
Too… I dunno. Everything.
Not really trying to complain. Just saying.
Yup
I think a similar demographic switcharoo is happening across the world.
has surfing become the new golf, or cycling? pick it up after marriage as a way to get time away from the house on weekends and fill the weekday evenings ordering new clubs/helmets online.
…while wifey also fills her carnal voids by ordering her own set of wantonly concupiscent “clubs/helmets” online. Sorry if I poached your erotic fishing grounds on this one, Dez, but Phat-Wan chummed the waters so lugubriously
I KNOW! I was complaining a few weeks ago about the Sad State of Affairs down here, and how I know a few 60-somethings that have quit. Some overseas cunt said ‘well if you can’t catch a wave from a kook you should quit’. Didn’t even bother explaining, but when when you’re on a wave and you have one guy burning you (and apologizing while pearling/shooting his board at your head), some chick racing you to the shoulder of a 2 footer you’re surfing because she’s scared to take it on the head and get out of your way, you realize how fucked it is. I suppose the only upshot as a above average surfer I’m basically like a fucking pro to these cunts.
Started off strong, but damn, I was really hoping for something longer, like six italicized (whoa, I see what I not so accidentally did there!) paragraphs telling me what some rando writer for E!online had to say about Hannah witnessing Kai Barger smelling his bellybutton wax during the filming of Ultimate Surfer.
He’s got a way to go if he wants to match Australia’s ex-Prime Minister.
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Earvax.
The Ranchelorette
A PRIME 10,000 WQS *** *** (6-Star) Explorer Regional Qualifier Series PRO Specialty Event Grand Finale Invitational …presented by E!
U wish Charley would have invited you on the barge?
I didn’t read this article but I wondered how Chas wrangled this topic away from Derek?