We must rally.
Oh no and oh no no no no no. The television ratings for last night’s “The Ultimate Surfer” premier have just been released and the numbers are not good, shockingly. The Wrap is reporting that “ABC’s ‘The Ultimate Surfer’ Premiere Wipes Out in TV Ratings,” declaring, “‘The Ultimate Surfer’ didn’t catch much of ‘Bachelor in Paradise’s’ ratings wave with Monday’s premiere, which received a 0.3 among adults 18-49 and just 1.46 million total viewers. In the two hours leading up to ‘Ultimate Surfer’s’ debut, ABC averaged a 0.9 demo rating and 3.22 million overall viewers.”
An inside source, who knows the Hollywood machinations, tells me, “Losing 200% of your lead in is really bad.”
By comparison, “Pooch Perfect,” a reality show about dog groomers, received a 0.5.
“Cherries Wild,” a game show described as “part trivia, part luck, and all-out wild” hosted by actor-adjacent Jason Biggs, received a similar 0.3.
But we cannot have this, no we cannot.
We cannot have dogs beating, American Pie matching, our beloved Kelly Slater.
No we cannot.
Joe Turpel is safe but the rest of our heroes, heroines, need us.
Tune in tonight for part two of the premier titled “The Trouble with Chicks.”
Do it for Kelly.
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So the US televsion audience are actually intelligent & astute!
Don’t do it for humanity!
How does one lose “200% of the audience” of the preceding show? To lose 100% means that 0 people were watching.
____-adjacent
The most basic, laziest adjective in use today
Chaz can’t get enough of it
Would AA win this then since she already competed on Naked & Afraid??
Russell …….the small dog ……ummmm
Just imagine If they made a feature film about the life and times of Russell Hughes ?
The ultimate surfer …….
This may explain why Dog Marsh left the country ?
Lord of the ( undone ) Flies …..
I can’t even fucking begin to imagine how the poor cunt who misses out on the WCT by one spot at the end of a year’s grind on the WQS will feel when the winner of this reality TV program nabs a spot on the CT.
Meh, then again, I don’t really give a fuck either
This is the antithesis of the Olympic Qualifying System ( which ain’t perfect either but at least more diverse )
The winner is Zeke Lau.
He probably would’ve made it back in the CT anyway considering there hasn’t been an actual QS grind for the last year and a half…
This is really comforting news
I’d rather watch Sally re-learning to whistle for an hour, while her sister goes on about her bracelets…..
When I see that slob Rebel Wilson, I know there’s no legit news
If this abomination tanks then Elo’s gone… right?
Please Jebus let it be so.
so youre telling me that next year we could see gabe paddling out for a heat to take on the winner of a reality show. dont know how they could make the wsl even more of a joke.
They finished this months ago.
We already know that the winner is Zeke Lau…
right, so gabe’s gonna be paddling out to take on the winner of a reality show. don’t care if zeke’s been on the CT before, he’s still there cause he’s won a cheezy raffle ticket.
Not surprisingly as he is the only former CT competitor and QS grinder amongst the handsomely chiseled , flotsam and jetsam …….
I wonder if Quik did a deal with the ELo Devil to get him a gig on the CT ?
Definitely doesn’t sound like an unrealistic proposition in that industry of thieves, liars and manwhores…
Maybe Gab could send out his wife instead ? She looks like she would be perfect for the Ultimate Surfer ?
why is j-terps wearing marilyn manson contacts?
I’ll watch it later
I’ve always been very shallow man who likes things that are cool with a bit of sex and mystery..
I just cant imagine I would’ve started surfing if it was like this back in the day.
Surfing 2021 feels like The Rolling Stones in there 70s more so than what they were in the 1960s …..
The HBO thingy with Garrett, just happened to catch it on a business trip, wow, rather corny, Garrett especially. Fucker said he would have got spit out a massive barrel at the biggest mushburger with a random, makeable shoulder but he didn’t because he was injured or a fucking pussy or some family thing which sometimes comes off like blaming the family, it was just fucking weird.
Still not on Pirate bay…. But interesting fact for the day. There’s a porn star called Kelly Surfer.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
I have found a link on a pretty suss streaming website Negs. This is not a Rickroll etc
I’m gonna watch it later with the lady. She HATES this sort of shit.
https://www.watchseries.cyo…
Holy fuck my computer got molested trying to open that!
No adblocker?
Yip, never got around to getting one of those.
Rookie move.
Holy shit, I think you just found the most toxic website I’ve ever encountered.
I have experience with these sorts of things. Probably should have iven a stronger warning than “suss streaming website”
Yeah I have experience too, adblock, popup blocker, and tracking blocker all installed. I think these stopped me from getting to the video, tried in an incognito window, big mistake.
Your site led me to this one somehow, think I found my new streaming service.
https://www.primewire.li/tv…
So I found a pretty good site to watch this, if you can stomach it. Way better than Pauly’s one, no offence.
https://www.primewire.li/tv…
No adverts, no pop ups, no sign ups just push play and you’re away. Cheers Bob!
there is so much potential for surfing in reality tv, actual drama inherent in the act alone. stick em on an island and let them fend for themselves, get their own food, they’ll hook up with each other if need/they want to, give them rewards for surfing the biggest, the gnarliest, the sketchiest, the most beautiful, whatever, waves.
fascinating, would boggle minds and show how good these people actually are.
instead. this shit. fuck it straight to hell
Sounds very watchable! Sell it to Elo and he’d cast Jonah and Pdiddy as the leads.