Paris' pretty palazzo at La Costa. | Photo: Redfin

Hotel heiress and OG reality TV/Sex tape star Paris Hilton becomes latest celebrity to join Malibu’s burgeoning VAL colony; buys $8-million “lavish and lovingly dated” beachfront palazzo!

Once home to the archest of anti-VAL surfers, Miklos Dora, the joint is now ground zero for surfing’s rebirth as the ultimate inclusive, diverse and safe divertissement.

A new belle epoch beckons for Malibu, a twenty-mile square beachfront and almost exclusively White enclave of million-and-billionaires thirty miles west of downtown Los Angeles.

Once home to the archest of anti-VAL surfers, Miklos “I am the one and only rightful king of Malibu” Dora, the pretty little town is now ground zero for surfing’s rebirth as the ultimate inclusive, diverse and safe divertissement.

The two-time academy award nominated actor and director Jonah Hill, who may or may not be referred to as a VAL, the epithet depending on how badly you want to swallow the Superbad star’s gravy, cemented his own position in the famous lineup last month when he paid nine million dollars for a house in Malibu Colony, a guarded, gated beachfront setup footsteps from point made famous by the aforementioned Dora.

And, Paris Hilton, just turned forty, is a surfing devotee, shown the ropes of the sport of Queens many years ago during a tour of LA by Bra Boy Koby Abberton.

Paris’ new joint, bought for $8.4 mill, and built in 1955, is Universal Pictures’ chairman Tom Pollock’s old place. Tom, he dead now, threw the same amount at it in 2007, proving not all real estate, even supposedly blue chip, is a sure thing investment-wise. 

Also living in the place is Paris’ boo, Carter Reum, rich kid son of late tycoon Robert Reum, although he ain’t entirely a trust-fund kid. He sold his vodka brand VEEV for bank and is worth around three-hundred mill. 

The joint is at La Costa beach, public below the high-tide line, but no direct access means if you wanna gawk at Paz, go via the Carbon gate next to Davey Geffen’s place, 22126 PCH, between the Malibu Pier at Surfrider Beach and Carbon Canyon Road. 

Here’s a taste.



In nostalgic throwback, originator of surfing’s “Flynnstone Flip” Flynn Novak re-conjures Red Scare: “Covid is a Trojan horse for Communism!”

A spectre haunting Europe.

Strange days, etc. what with Ultimate Surfers, oversized hurricanes, tough central asian days, lonely New Zealand nights. And is it any wonder that our best turn to times past where, with hindsight, things seem simpler? Easier to understand? One-time Surfer magazine associate editor Ben Marcus, regularly found here, refuses to leave the mid to late 1989s.

Flynn Novak, originator of the eponymous “Flynnstone Flip,” dreams in hues of red, when Soviet Russians represented the “big fear.”

In a piece to Instagram, Novak re-posted, “Covid is a Trojan Horse for communism. It is the duty of every person to make sure Freedom survives covid. Just following orders is no longer an acceptable excuse.”

Covid is a sneaky way for workers to rise up and seize the machinations of control? To crush the feudal system of industry? A spectre haunting Europe?

I suppose so.

More, certainly, as this story develops.

Remember the Flynnstone Flip here.

Yessir, Hawaiian, Pipe local, but I can get hard for Raglan.

Breaking: New Zealand becomes first country to ban the Vulnerable Adult Learner Surfer, announces,“If you are not experienced, do not surf!”

“No kooks, locals only.”

In news that will chill the spine of vulnerable adult learner surfers everywhere, New Zealand has drawn a line in the sand against the VALpocalypse.

In a surprising move, Jacinda Adern’s leftist regime whose progressive bona fides are beyond any sorta reproach, Marxist at heart if not practice, has used the COVID pandemic to shut down out-of-towners and kooks. 

Currently the little island nation is under tough “Alert 4 level” restrictions as it battles what is, viewed through a worldwide perspective, a minor hit of the bug. 

Better to be safe than sorry, I suppose, although it does bring to mind Russian author Czeslaw Milosz’s observation of the “vulnerability of the twentieth century mind to seduction by socio-political doctrines and its readiness to accept totalitarian terror for the sake of a hypothetic future.”

Via the government’s COVID-info site, 

“Surfing — if you are an experienced surfer, you can go to your local break. If you are not experienced, do not surf.

“If you are not experienced, do not surf.” 

Have you ever read a sentence of comparable wisdom and virtue? 

Interestingly, outer-reef sessions are banned as restrictions remind surfers to “stay within 200 metres of the shore.” 

Also allowed in New Zealand is “white-baiting” which, I had hoped, would be the taunting of white devils by major media outlets, as per the US’s NY Times, New Yorker, CNN etc, although it appears to be a sort of fishing.

Watch: A stunningly gorgeous homage to France’s greatest one-time North African protectorate Morocco!

Saint Elsewhere.

But have you ever been to Morocco? Agadir, Marrakesh, Casablanca? Oh, I have, to Rabat, and loved every second of it. The food, architecture, wafting call to prayer. Growing up with Albert Camus and Yves St. Laurent as my north stars, Algeria forever had and has my heart, though I have yet to visit. Neighboring Morocco, though, a fine substitute whilst I wait.

French is spoken, as the country was a French protectorate from 1912 to 1956, along with a pleasant Arabic. My Arabic is Egyptian mixed heavily with Yemeni and I think it is better but am not offended by Darija.

The surf.

Morocco has exceptional surf and Montreal’s Beach Ratz have just celebrated with a stunningly gorgeous homage.

Montreal has wonderful poutine and was a French protectorate from 1832 – present.


Where would we be without her?

Watch trailer here.

Surf icon provides bold reality check as grumpy locals continue melting down over reality show: “What game would you rather play? This one (which featured the great Miki Dora and Johnny Fain as extras) or The Ultimate Surfer? Neither are to be taken so seriously. Don’t be mad!”


There are few surf personalities with more credibility than Evan Slater. The Ventura-born big wave surfer, and only person to helm both Surfer and Surfing magazines, has been a quiet force for years, steering the look/feel of our beloved pastime deftly.

Now the Vice President of global marketing at Billabong, Slater is directly responsible for such hits as Metallica and Italo Ferreira. When he speaks it is well worth consideration and yesterday he provided a bold reality check to grumpy locals who are continuing to melt down over the World Surf League x ABC reality television program “The Ultimate Surfer.”

Posting a clip from the 1965 film Beach Blanket Bingo to his Instagram account, the 1999 Men Who Ride Mountains runner-up asked, “What game would you rather play? This one (which featured the great Miki Dora and Johnny Fain as extras) or The Ultimate Surfer? Neither are to be taken so seriously. Don’t be mad!”

Thrilled at a hint of support, World Surf League CEO Erik Logan immediately responded, “OMG this is gold.”

An adult male using “OMG” aside, it is a fine observation. The “beach party” films, as they were called, were clear bastardizations of this sport of kings. Dora and Fain’s involvement as egregious as any of today’s “best up and coming surfers.”

“Selling out” has long been an important part of this surfing life which begs the question. Is Logan a creative genius?

More as the story develops.