"I don’t believe there’s a finer competitive surfer in history than Gabriel Medina."
All it took was a line from a Chas Smith pixel filler, “Who is your money on, by the way?”
Honestly, I hadn’t even realised the finals were so soon.
Sometimes life is like that.
Everything’s going swimmingly, there’s money in the bank, food on the table, smiles in the bedroom…
Then crack, there it is. A splintered mess of a front door with a big fuckoff wolf’s head poking through it.
Oh well. Here we go again.
So here’s the brief…
Some of you will know me by now, though I’ve been away for some time. Here’s a reminder of my personal bents, should you decide to follow any advice.
I bet largely with the heart rather than the head. Call me masochistic. Of course I know better, and statistically I’m a failure. But I like higher highs and deeper lows. I like to really feeeeeeel.
I don’t believe there’s a finer competitive surfer in history than Gabriel Medina.
Despite these facts, I like some long shots. There’s always the chance you might hit the big one and convince yourself enough’s enough.
I’m still waiting.
So, the players.
What is there left to say? Medina is a favourite anywhere in the world. You’re a bold man to bet against him, though of course we’re at Trestles. It’s akin to moving the Masters from Augusta to a nine-hole par three course.
But Gabby is Gabby, and even if Charlie’s not there perforating eardums, he’s still got Andy King.
He seems to be lacking a little mojo overall this year, but he’s likely keeping his powder dry. He seems a little more mellow than we’re used to and is likely dipping his wick between heats, and who could blame him?
But peel back a layer and there’s a vicious competitive beast underneath, laced through to the core like a stick of rock.
We’ll see the real Medina at Trestles.
No chance he’s letting a third title go begging. Put my house on it.
I love Italo, but from a gambling perspective I’m still smarting from money lost in the early days when he wasn’t so in vogue. I was on his bandwagon early. I could see that he had the most electrifying backhand in the game and the potential to thrill from day one.
And my, how I pulled for him!
The bookies, of course, were slower to catch on, so Italo’s odds were just delicious. However, as is the way with pro surfing and shit judging, he was often underscored.
I could give you specific examples and figures, but honestly it’s too painful.
A couple of vague biggish ones spring out – a 22k accumulator payout scuppered by a heat loss to Ace bloody Buchan somewhere along the way. (Maybe Kolohe? I can’t remember). Eleven thousand missed at the first Surf Ranch event on one underscored left. And a whole fucking whack of cash gone at Bells in 2019 when he got that interference on Jordy.
Suffice to say, I’ve been through the mill with Italo, and as soon as I stopped making him the fulcrum of all my bets he started winning everything.
So I can’t go back, because you know what’ll happen.
Heart over head.
Who doesn’t find Filipe’s surfing completely CHOKE electrifying when he’s on CHOKE point?
Trestles is not only custom designed CHOKE for his CHOKE surfing, but it’s virtually his CHOKE local spot, despite what the local groms think when they CHOKE send him in.
He could CHOKE win the whole thing, there’s no doubt about CHOKE that, but not for my money.
CHOKE, CHOKE. CHOKE, CHOKE.
I’ve got a wee soft spot for Conner. Not only was he most gracious with his time when I peppered him with questions for something I was writing, but I love a natural footer raised on a right point. His aesthetic appeals to me.
His surfing I mean, not his lesbian chic haircut.
He won’t win, of course, not at Trestles.
However there’s one conditional I will add.
A slim chance that’s worth throwing some money Conner’s way.
A ghost of a rumour that could swing everything his way.
A glimmer of a shadow of a tantilising possibility that he could blow the doors off our perception when it comes to riding waves.
I am of course referring to THE TURN.
As prophesied (nay promised!) by Brad Gerlach somewhere along the way, Conner Coffin has in his locker a TURN the likes of which we’ve never seen. A TURN to spin the world on its axis. The ki to unlocking multiple world titles…
I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since.
Come on, Conner. Do it for us!
I’ll confess to being a bit in the dark with Morgs, such is my recent casting off of all things pro surfing and associated bankruptcy. I haven’t seen him surf that much.
However…I’m presuming he’s a massive underdog, in which case his odds are going to be TASTY, and in which case he’s probably MY NEW FAVOURITE SURFER! A classic heart bet with payout to match.
Plus, he’s Australian, and that’s alright with me. He’ll be getting a slice of my wife and kid’s future for sure.
So that’s that. I guess I’m back.
Fuck it, you are who you are.