A familiar scene on Australian beaches. | Photo: 9News

Australia’s Great White Crisis: Surfer dead after suspected Great White attack at popular Australian beach

After two decades of the Great White being protected, this is the new reality of surfing in Australia.

The usual theatre, surfer hit by shark, paramedics, CPR on the beach, on Australia’s north coast this morning after a surfer was bitten by a suspected Great White shark at Shelley Beach, near Coffs Harbour. 

The man, in his thirties, was bitten on the arm around eleven, dragged to shore, CPR, chopper, dead. 

It’s the first fatal shark attack on the east coast since May, when surfer Mark Sanguinetti was killed by a fifteen-foot Great White at  Tuncurry, two hours drive south, and two months since surfer Joe Hoffman survived a hit by a ten-foot Great White at Crescent Head, a little further north of Tuncurry.

Local rez Glenn Coleman told the ABC he heard the sirens and, “We pricked our ears up straight away and we knew something had happened. It’s a heavy feeling. It’s put a heavy atmosphere over the village.”

Coleman says Shelley was crowded with locals ’cause it was Father’s Day.

What’s the takeaway, here?

After two decades of the Great White being protected, this is the new reality of surfing in Australia.

So buy and learn to use a tourniquet. Most, although certainly not all, Great White hits are a bite-and-release taste test so once the shark leaves, if you’re quick a life can be saved.

If you can get a tourniquet above the wound site, your buddy has a good chance of living.

There’s an exception here.

If the shark takes off an entire leg or arm and there’s no stump, well, even a combat medic can’t stop the bleeding.

But if there’s a stump, there’s a chance, a good chance. If you act fast.

You carrying a tourniquet in your wetsuit? Or on the beach?

Before anything, before calling anyone, get it on, tight, a couple of inches above the joint.

That’s it.

No tourniquet or it’s in the car?

Get a towel. Apply as much pressure as you can where the blood is coming out. All that matters is stopping the blood.

A catastrophic attack and your buddy is going to lose consciousness in three minutes; after five minutes the outcomes are poor.

(Click here to check out ER doctor and surfer Jon Cohen’s range of tourniquets, including one built-into a leash)

More on the Coffs attack as it comes. 


Filipe Toledo’s “huge scuffle” at Lower Trestles explodes online as anti-depressive surf website accused of anti-Brazilian bias: “You can talk sh*t on Brazilians every post as they will win every World Title for the next two decades!”

"Meanwhile Americans are winning the vlogging game..."

Three days ago, the international surf community became aware of the Wrestle at Trestles (SurfAds™). As revealed by a revered eyewitness-adjacent, Filipe Toledo and a “hot, young sponsored junior” became involved in a “huge scuffle” at Lowers, site of the upcoming and possibly anticipated World Surf League Final Day.

Allegedly, the hot junior caught a set wave, the world number 3 tried to back-paddle then  “As Toledo tries to pass him, young surfer grabs and holds on to Filipe’s wetsuit… and holds on the entire ride. At the end, there was a huge scuffle. Mostly verbal. Young kid is a hothead, demands that Toledo paddle in after asking, ‘Who do you think you are? … the new local?’ Tensions were so bad at the peak that Toledo did decided to paddle in and go home.”

If not tensely thrilling enough, two days ago, Toledo’s daddy Ricardo swung in to the fray, defending his son’s honor and denying any wrongdoing on BeachGrit‘s oft-blocked Instagram account:

Impressive the amount of shit you talk to earn likes and move the ridiculous articles you post. This is a tremendous lie, it never happened and the worst thing a media can do is spread lies on their pages… and you are the experts at this, congratulations! That’s why I, and everyone around here, blocked you. Poor article, poor spirit…

Reaching a possible boiling point, yesterday, many others capoeira-ed in too, heels coming dangerously close to jaws, fists just missing kidneys, accusing the same BeachGrit, which bills itself as anti-depressive, of an anti-Brazilian bias.

An outright melee.

Marcos cabeçada’d, “One thing is true you talk lots of shit and yes you seem to be like the gossip magazines always talking shit specifically about Brazilians. The reality is the three on top are Brazilian and it’ll be like that for a few years in the future. Good luck to the finalists.”

Hugues bênção’d, “You can talk shit on Brazilians every post as they will win every World Title for the next two decades. AND should create their own league. Meanwhile Americans are winning the vlogging game and reality show awards for the next decade.”

On and on it went. And on. More and more into the unbelievable rumble.

This Squabble on the Cobble (John Non John™).

BeachGrit left stunned.

There is no anti-Brazilian bias whatsoever. Some of the website’s principals’ better friends are, in fact, Brazilian.

The question remains, though, will the growing fracas on Toledo’s behalf energize or scare the noted aerialist as final’s day approaches?

Also, don’t you think that Brazilians could fairly easily win the reality show awards if they put even half a mind to it? The competition is certainly left wanting.


Wild footage: Man Arrested After Allegedly Sending Truck Through Maui Surf Shop and abandoning whip in ditch! “There was SPF 50 shot out of tubes like a bottle rocket on the 4th of July!”

“Our whole wetsuit section was destroyed (over 400 units). We found out that neoprene melts when a truck burns rubber on the suits."

Kekoa Kinimaka, 20, is in police custody after allegedly driving his truck straight through the shop, back to front.

While the motive is still unclear, the damage is striking.

Surveillance video shows a black truck, carrying a couple of surfboards, plowing through the store then reversing before ripping through the merchandise again.

Hi-Tech Surf Sports’ back door, front window, and merchandise were destroyed.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CSgIxTHjxQ9/

Whada mess.

Owner Kim Ball described the ruins,

“Our sunscreen and GoPro displays went for a ride. There was SPF 50 shot out of tubes like a bottle rocket on the 4th of July. Sunscreen cleared the Olukai and Reef racks and hit surfboards on the other side of the store.”

According to Maui Now, assistant manager Tyler Abbott was alone in the shop at approximately 4:30 p.m. sitting at the cash wrap station, when he heard the “screeching of tires,” which he said is not particularly unusual for that intersection.

The employee reportedly stood up to see what was happening, when he “heard a loud pop,” saw “glass fly everywhere,” and observed the taillights of a truck within the store.

Ball reports that Abbott narrowly missed a bruising and is said “to be slowly recovering from the emotional trauma of nearly being run over.”

(This might sound callous, but most of us would pay money for a front row seat to witness such a bull-in-china shop romp, no?)

Ball has, however, found some levity in the situation.

“Our whole wetsuit section was destroyed (over 400 units). We found out that neoprene melts when a truck burns rubber on the suits.”

Police discovered the truck on nearby Auhana Road and arrested Kinimaka shortly after.

Bail was originally set at a hundred K but has been since reduced by half.

Fitting bail?

And what about sentencing?


Daddy Ricardo (right) and son.
Daddy Ricardo (right) and son.

Filipe Toledo’s “huge scuffle” at Lower Trestles takes unforeseen twist as daddy Ricardo comes swinging in: “Impressive the amount of sh*t you talk. That’s why I, and everyone around here, blocked you.”

Poor article. Poor spirit.

Yesterday, an eyewitness-adjacent informed me of what-has-now-famously-become-known as the “Tussle at Trestles.” A “hot, young, sponsored junior” and World Number 3 Filipe Toledo allegedly got mixed up at Lower Trestles. My source, impeccable, informed me:

As Toledo tries to pass him, young surfer grabs and holds on to Filipe’s wetsuit… and holds on the entire ride. At the end, there was a huge scuffle. Mostly verbal. Young kid is a hothead, demands that Toledo paddle in after asking, “Who do you think you are? … the new local?” Tensions were so bad at the peak that Toledo did decided to paddle in and go home.

The most exciting thing to happen in surf since World Surf League Chief Marketing Officer Beth Greve put her fins in backwards took an unforeseen twist, overnight, as Filipe’s daddy Ricardo came swinging in to BeachGrit’s Instagram comments, hopping mad, and in a since deleted post wrote:

Impressive the amount of shit you talk to earn likes and move the ridiculous articles you post. This is a tremendous lie, it never happened and the worst thing a media can do is spread lies on their pages… and you are the experts at this, congratulations! That’s why I, and everyone around here, blocked you. Poor article, poor spirit…

Very fine except the “incident” was not a “tremendous lie.” There were many observers, professional surfers amongst them, and many more accounts of past “incidents” too. Daddy may have disagreed with the interpretation but isn’t this back and forth what makes the surf conversation so fantastic?

This difference?

One man’s “huge scuffle” another man’s “normal day?”

One man’s “being ordered to the beach” another man’s “over it, I’m leaving?”

David Lee Scales and I discussed the many and varied points of view when it comes to surf altercations. Five people could see the same lineup squabble and have six different opinions. Sorting through them, endlessly, is pure fun.

No?

We also discussed the man who once worked for Verizon wireless then swapped to Sprint. Heavy.

Listen here.


Australia’s reputation as bold and fearless receives shot in arm as surfer allows venomous sea snake onto his board: “This time of year they become very active, sexually frustrated and potentially aggressive!”

That's not a sea snake. This is a sea snake.

Australia, my second home, my self-identified nationality, has been battered and bruised under crushing new pandemic lockdown measures. Punished. Once bold Australians allowed outside of homes or apartments for only one hour of exercise a day. Restaurants, bars, gyms shuttered. No travel, no socializing. All concentration paid to staying safe.

Oh this flies very much against the Lucky Country’s devil-may-care reputation.

Sydney was founded, did you know, when a ship carrying convicts and a ship carrying prostitutes crashed on its fatal shore. Instead of building stick forts and quarantining, the two groups had an orgy.

Crocodile Dundee is Australian.

Steve Irwin forever too.

And now, when needed most, a new savior has appeared.

Brodie Moss, a YouTuber maybe, recently filmed a venomous sea snake crawl upon his standup paddle board, posting the clip to Instagram and writing:

Sea snakes normally avoid humans but this time of year they become very active, sexually frustrated and potentially aggressive as they search for a mate like this old fella who appeared from the ocean floor and followed me around on my paddle board before disappearing.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CTN1190hwQZ/

Barstool Sports was one of many U.S. outlets that could not believe the brazen, writing Australians Fear Absolutely Nothing: Surfer Let’s A Horny And Venomous Sea Snake Slither Onto His Surfboard.

The author, while wrong about the craft being a surfboard, was correctly amazed, recounted Moss’s story then added, “Australians are a different breed. In 2019, I got the chance to end down under and had the time of my life. Aussies are probably my favorite people on planet Earth, but they’ll never cease to amaze me with their attitude of being one with nature.”

A shot in the arm indeed.