Koa Smith, too beautiful for this world!

Dirty Water: Ultimate Surfer #2 Koa Smith sends blunt message to WSL CEO over wildcard brouhaha, “Elo, you know what to f$@ken do. You saw what I can do! Put me in, Teahupoo, Pipe, Portugal, G-Land, I’ll take some monsters down. Let’s f$@ken go!”

The hype and the heat is real!

Today’s guest on Dirty Water is the three-time NSSA champ and runner-up to Zeke Lau’s Ultimate Surfer, Koa Smith.

Smith, born in Kauai and a student of Bruce and Andy Irons, surfs with the contented and dreamy look of the female suckling her young as he dominates some of the best waves in the world including, but not limited to Teahupoo, Skeleton Bay and Pipeline.

He is also a prized fashion model, although that, as Smith explains, has its dark side.

While it would be better, I think, for our guest to just marry a nice, clean girl from a good family and settle down on a ranch in the hills of Kauai, he is hellbent on dragging himself around the loathsome WSL tour.

Charlie and I asked, why?


Facebook founder, Kauai local, Mark Zuckerberg continues to culturally appropriate surf by naming latest product offering “Nazare” after famous Portuguese big wave!


The world’s fifth richest man, friend of Kai Lenny, Mark Zuckerberg made news, days ago, by announcing that his company Facebook would be changing its name to “Meta” with a video release featuring himself achieving second place to the aforementioned Lenny in a “very cool” foil game.

Today, he reveals a new product offering, a Google Glass-esque something rather named Nazare after the famous Portuguese town, wave pioneered by fellow Hawaiian Garrett McNamara.

Per the industry publication Upload:

Alongside the reveal of the new Project Cambria VR headset, Meta (formerly Facebook) just gave a codename to its first pair of consumer AR glasses. Meet Project Nazare.

A demo video of Nazare showed some familiar AR experiences, like communicating with friends in virtual windows and even playing multiplayer with avatars appearing in the user’s living room. There was no actual picture of the hardware itself, but expect more information in the future.

Are you stung by your culture being appropriated by “big tech” or happy and honored?


Say it loud and there’s music playing etc.

Surf Journalist (pictured) in training. Photo: The singular Pat Stacy @patstacyfilm

Surf Journalist decides to test fitness gains gifted from ballet, prison, and paddle into dream southern California combo swell an almost-unimaginable twice in one day!

A man, reborn.

I’m in love, I’m in love and I don’t care who knows it! Oh who could have ever guessed that a sleek, black strap wrapping my left wrist, directly above my Nixon Supremacy watch, would change my entire life? Make me a better husband, father, writer, friend, surfer?


The most beautiful sound I have ever heard.


All the beautiful sounds of the world in a single word.

My personal transformation, crawling out of a morass of mental and physical inertia, began exactly one month ago for it was then that I admitted there was a problem, that I was a sedentary blob forever destined to be lightly below average, to have a lightly below average cutback, down carve, lip tap unless I did something about it. Unless I took action and was forced to measure my progress every waking, and sleeping, hour.


Say it loud and there’s music playing.


Say it soft and it’s almost like praying.

I first needed to reach a baseline of general fitness so began running and watched my strain levels rise, my stamina grow.

I next needed to build muscle so reached out to my famous bank robbing cousin, currently serving time in Oregon, for “prison bod” tips and watched my strain levels rise, my shoulders bulge.

A detour to Kelly Slater’s Surf Ranch proved I was on the righteous path but needed more flexibility, dexterity. The fates responded by casting me as Mother Ginger in the famed Nutcracker ballet and I watched my strain levels rise, feet become nimble, as I attempted not to step on young Bon Bons hiding under the folds of my skirt.

Twelve days, out of October’s twenty-nine (so far), that my strain surged north of ten.

A fitness bonanza.

An aggressive slaying of personal mediocrity.

And then, like that, a gorgeous combination swell laced into Southern California. Water warm, air warmer, waves plentiful and peaky. Head high. Running across the various reefs and sandbars.

Was I ready?

I purposed to surf an almost-unimaginable twice in one day discover.

Paddling out in the morning, I felt strong, not winded, and sets stacking up out the back did not cause bile to rise for I knew that I could punch through them with my new convict arms. Oh, punch through I did and I caught waves very easily too, opening shoulders on turns, feeling reborn.

Paddling out in the afternoon, I felt sore but good sore, and did not falter on my pop-ups but was quick and clean and brave with enough energy to smirk at longboarders I zipped past on my Channel Islands Mid. Lightly spraying them.

A new man.

Afterward, heart beating healthy and proud, I checked my WHOOP application to see if I had kissed John John Florence levels of excellence.

The surfing, itself, still did not register as an “activity.”

More work to do, gains to see.

But would you like to join me on this journey? Buy your own WHOOP here and receive a fifteen percent discount if you use the code BEACHGRIT at checkout.

World’s 5th richest man Mark Zuckerberg announces Facebook changing name to Meta with extremely cool Kai Lenny foil video game: “I’ve got an idea… gotta pump it to jump it!”

"I'm gonna need a lot more sunscreen though..."

The world’s 5th richest man, and avid foil enthusiast, Mark Zuckerberg shocked observers, yesterday, with the announcement that his social media behemoth Facebook Inc. would be changing its name to “Meta.”

Per the Associated Press report:

Facebook Inc. is now called Meta Platforms Inc., or Meta for short, to reflect what CEO Mark Zuckerberg said Thursday is its commitment to developing the new surround-yourself technology known as the “ metaverse.” But the social network itself will still be called Facebook.

Also unchanged, at least for now, are its chief executive and senior leadership, its corporate structure and the crisis that has enveloped the company.

Skeptics immediately accused the company of trying to change the subject from the Facebook Papers, the trove of leaked documents that have plunged it into the biggest crisis since it was founded in Zuckerberg’s Harvard dorm room 17 years ago. The documents portray Facebook as putting profits ahead of ridding its platform of hate, political strife and misinformation around the world.

Zuckerberg then released a sneak peek into his own personal “metaverse.”

A foiling contest versus Maui’s Kai Lenny in which he receives a second place trophy.

And that is all I have to say about that.

Kelly Slater sparks all-in, multi-front blood feud pulling in world champs, other pros and journalists after posting new comment on Instagram; tells Ace Buchan, “Your comment is just an opportunity to virtue signal”

Kelly Slater at his caustic best!

Only two days after being mauled for his vax scepticism in an opinion piece in Australia’s The Sydney Morning Herald, Kelly Slater has opened multiple fronts, dragging in a who’s who of surfing, after responding to Ace Buchan’s comment on a post by Tracks magazine. 

Tracks jumped on the Herald piece, hard not to when a story is seared to a crunch and served with bread for sopping, and ran a pointer to it on their IG account.

Ace, who is thirty-nine, and a veteran of sixteen WSL seasons (best finish sixth in 2008), ran with what he figured was the voice of reason.  

Complex issue and everyone is entitled to their views and choices (whilst acknowledging that their choices in this case have a huge impact on those around then) …but is it not slightly alarming that professional athletes and more specifically surfers are completely over indexing in conspiracy theorists, anti vaxxers and spreading of misinformation? A group that also happens to over index in under education, over confidence and use of social media to digest and spread media? I wouldn’t listen to a bunch of doctors telling me which board to surf before a heat at Pipe, I’d chat to a bunch of my surfer friends ….but I wouldn’t listen to those same surfers tell me what to do and which medicine to take if I hurt myself in that heat, I’d go chase the doctors.

And the switchboards lit up. 

First, Slater, who turns fifty in a few months, and who’d previously told of friends dying from the vaccine, either from side-effects of suicide, wrote, 

@acebuchan I’ve yet to see a surfer giving advice on which medicines to take but feel free to show me. I’m personally against vaccine mandates for people in a free society with what the experts characterise as a leaky vaccine. So I think you’ve missed the point. When virologists and doctors acknowledge that you can catch and pass on covid because you carry a similar viral load when vaccinated, we’ve all got every right to be confused and should adamantly be asking questions. I’m not sure where you or anyone else missed the logic there. And I very well could be wrong but am happy to take that ‘risk’ whatever people assume that to be. Insinuating anyone is playing doctor here is a disappointing moment, a false equivalence, and nothing more than an appeal to authority. Your comment is just an opportunity to virtue signal.

Ian “Kanga” Cairns, rough, tough, big-wave hero, squirter of testosterone and lover of big chicken-fried steaks stood behind Kelly, as did two-thirds or so of the five hundred-ish comments. 

“In an era where Australia is being subjected to incredible levels of suppression of free speech and medical choice,” wrote Kanga, “@kellyslater should be applauded for taking a public stand for use of alternative treatments and opinions that have always been our prerogatives as Australians.” 

Much emotion and distorted angles and enough, I think, to lend the dullness of daily life an invigorating jolt. 

Scroll through here.